[BrewCrew0981]

I guess my ultimate question to you then is this:

What is your ultimate goal in contacting her, to apologize for your mistakes?

To me, if you admit it to yourself, learn and move on, I don't see how apologizing to an ex can help someone at all. To me, it's just an excuse to contact the ex. I've gone through 5 million scenarios in my head the past 2 weeks on what I can say to her to let her know I still care and am thinking about her. I'll tell you this, apologizing for when I got upset and stormed out (the last time we talked, 2 weeks ago), was right at the top of the list. Am I sorry? Yes. Is apologizing to her going to change ANYTHING between us? Not at all. Therefore, I don't see the point in contacting her for ANY reason.

But, I so thank you for your opinion. It's always good to read others views on things.

[snowalps]

Thanks for your reply brew. But the answer to the q you put up to me is "nope"; that is certainly not the ultimate goal and also neither am I in favour of contacting just for apologizing.
We are not calculating/accounting stuff here; we are discussing a deep and vast theater of human emotions and sentiments.

What I meant will fit in place when both of them think they were wrong somewhere and wanted to be back together for the reason that they still care and love each other.
You got to tell me something. We are in the same shoes now as far as nc is concerned. Do you think there could be something more brutal than to lose a beautiful(not the physical aspect but as a person), loving and caring partner while you still have time in your hands? (same applies to the girl too).I could never forgive myself for doing that which is why my advice here has been little different from the rest.

We sometimes react spontaneously and irrationally. But this immaturity should not be allowed to become the root cause for losing a devoted and caring partner, who has the potential to be your lifeline for your Entire life. Because if someone realizes he/she was THE ONE, then they are really lucky and wouldn't want to lose their partner under any circumstances. But we all make mistakes- and an NC can sometimes be a BIG BIG mistake in contrast to sorting out problems.

This is my personal advise and opinion. Others may differ for various reasons; since reasons leading to an nc may be varied and which is why no matter what, we can never device a successful yet generic solution to all existing nc's. All we can do is offer advice from experience and mind.
While I will always hope people never have to turn to nc's - they suck a lot more than hell.



P.s: if your mind and heart realizes this :Is apologizing to her going to change ANYTHING between us? Not at all., then it would mean you are dead sure there is going to be no hope(assuming you have thought about every chance of 'returning sanity' before jumping to a decision) and an NC would be the wisest choice in this case.

Good luck friend.

[hungtoronto]

My ex called me on Saturday night I heard one ring it was around midnight. She called me today and it was the same number so I pickup didn't know it was her. She asked me about her mails and said can I leave them at the security desk for her I said they won't accept them. I told her come to pick them up she said she'll come when she have time I said OK and then we hang up. I was cool and calm.

It's good to hear her voice again but gosh I rather she not call me. I didn't contact her because I didn't have her number since I cancelled the phone I paid for her every month. It've been over a month since we have any contact.


I am sure she just wanted her mails. I don't think she want to see me anyway I don't know how to give her the mails and I still have some of her belongings.