[wikedjuggalo]

Do you know the meaning of "have the cake and eat it too"? I guess

I do not think there is much getting through to him.

I do not want to you to be unhappy as I do not want anyone unhappy. People who have given you advice have been there and although everyone thinks their case is unique 99.99% of the time it is not. Good luck in your unique situation I hope the best for you.

[tabbarat]

OK.. lets say we don't get back... so what? Life goes on... I know this

I would say it was a fun ride, and at least I know I tried to get a girl I care about back... no regrets

If we do get back and she chooses me over her ex of 10yrs, I will be telling all of you I TOLD YOU SO, though :)

Take care and thanks for your wishes

[talaniman]

Originally Posted by Matteus
Do you know the meaning of "have the cake and eat it too"? I guess

When a person has the benefits of a relationship, without the commitment. The partner always has a false hope of something more, so goes along with this FRIENDSHIP. Reality doesn't set in until, the one partner develops romantic interests in someone else.

[tabbarat]

True.. I agree.. but didn't she already develop interest in someone else? (her ex, when she called to tell me she found out she still has feelings for him)

So what is it called when she develops interest in someone else, yet STILL wants to be with me/see me/kiss me? I guess...

[talaniman]

You're the rebound, the in between guy to help her move on from the ex, or distract her from missing him.

[tabbarat]

Maybe, maybe not... time will tell

By the way, she called ME again today... told her I was BUSY... said SHE wants to see ME tmrw

Oh no! She is controlling me! :P

[wikedjuggalo]

maybe, maybe not...time will tell

btw, she called ME again today...told her I was BUSY...said SHE wants to see ME tmrw

oh no! she is controlling me! :P

Depends are you going to see her tomorrow :D but Good luck again man.

[hjpan]

maybe, maybe not...time will tell

btw, she called ME again today...told her I was BUSY...said SHE wants to see ME tmrw

oh no! she is controlling me! :P

*sigh* *facepalm*

You just don't understand the whole point... you don't love her.
If she dumps you, you said that you would find other girls... right off the bat and move on

Depends are you going to see her tomorrow :D but Good luck again man.

Sounds like he wants to get laid... more than loving her

[wikedjuggalo]

Sounds like he wants to get laid... more than loving her

Lol I cannot wait to see how this all plays out. This magical strategy. I mean I do wish him the best but I cannot help but laugh a bit.

[hjpan]

lol I cannot wait to see how this all plays out. This magical strategy. I mean I do wish him the best but I cannot help but laugh a bit.

Same here.

Looks like his strategy won't work because he's too arrogant and takes too much pride in himself.

[friend4u178]

She knows she doesn't need to make a choice because you keep hanging around.

Make yourself scarce , then she may just realise she has to make one.

[hjpan]

She knows she doesn't need to make a choice because you keep hanging around.

Make yourself scarce , then she may just realise she has to make one.

That's what we've been trying to tell him but he feels as "if he in love" with the girl... *sigh*

[tabbarat]

Guys! I'm right here! Hello! I can hear you... hehehe

OK...

I DO love her (and I want to get laid)... if I didn't love her I wouldn't put effort into "playing the game" or trying to get her back! I would just walk away/give up!

I said many times before... I have been dumped and I did the dumping, and moved on easily... but if it's a girl I think is special, I work on it!

And yes, if it doesn't work out (she decides she only wants her ex, or is fully over me), I will move on "right of the bat" because I love single life as well... it doesn't scare me... been single or had meaningless relationships more than serious ones, so its not new territory to me, i.e doesn't scare me... doesnt mean that I don't love her

And its not arrogance, its more like confidence...

For some reason you guys think I'm acting out of desperation and I sit on my bed for hours contemplating my next moves and hoping she calls, etc... that it SO far from the truth! I really am OK and comfortable... if she calls, we talk, then a few days later, I call her... if she wants to see me, sometimes I will sometimes I won't... I don't give it that much thought... when we don't see each other, I'm out with my friends, etc.

Frien4u is right about one thing; that I have to make myself scarce in order for her to be forced to make a choice... he is right.. and that is why I'm not making myself too available... in time she WILL HAVE to make a choice... I mean obviously this situation can't stay like this for long! I don't want it, I'm sure she doesn't either, and her poor boyfriend is still in the dark... so that's why I say time will tell

Right now, enjoying the ride...

But I can tell u 2 things I'm proud of: 1) a guy of 4 mnths was able to make a girl that was in a relationship for 10YRS fall for him, and make her unsure if she should get back with her ex... basically, ex of 10yrs vs. guy of 4mnths, and I'm holding my own

2) 3 weeks ago, we were NC, "i stil have feelings for my ex, maybe we should take it slow/stay friends", no talking, no seeing, no kissing, as if we were strangers... but now, its different because of my strategy (the balanced/regulated NC)

If any guys want their ex back, do what I say... hehehe

Bye boys! We're in this together! :)

[friend4u178]

So I would suggest you make yourself even more scarce... like disappear off the scene all together. I mean seriously how long are you willing to put up with this. IF she seriously loved you she wouldn't put you through all this crap for fear of losing you.

The way I see it you've got your strategy but she also has hers. Her strategy is to keep you close to her in case it doesn't work out with her Ex , and your strategy is playing right into her hands.

Look bottom line is if your willing to be tagged along by this girl so be it , that's your choice and you have to suffer the consequences. What people on here are telling you is basically what we see here day in day out , and your story isn't that different.

Anyway I wish you luck whatever you decide.

[Matteus]

a) i DO love her (and i wanna get laid)...if i didnt love her i wouldnt put effort into "playing the game" or trying to get her back! i would just walk away/give up!

b)her poor bf is still in the dark...so thats why i say time will tell

c)a guy of 4 mnths was able to make a girl that was in a relationship for 10YRS fall for him, and make her unsure if she should get back with her ex...basically, ex of 10yrs vs. guy of 4mnths, and im holding my own

d) 3 weeks ago, we were NC, "i stil have feelings for my ex, maybe we should take it slow/stay friends", no talking, no seeing, no kissing, as if we were strangers...but now, its different bc of my strategy (the balanced/regulated NC)

e) its confidence

Its not about confidence, its not about proud, its not about love. Its about stalking, its about self ego. A man with proud, a man with confidence, in your shoes, would be running miles away from these kind of situations, even if he were in love. Not because he might be afraid, but he knows that if someone doesn't want to stay, its better to let go. I want my girl to stay there with me at her own choice, not by my strategy. No one is going to stay with you, because you love them. No one is going to like you, because you like them. Its all about SELF HOME MADE choices, without ANY influences, nothing!

[tabbarat]

I didn't reply to matteus and friend4u because part of what they say IS true and makes sense; but MORE importantly because everyone has said his piece, and this story has been beaten to a pulp! I don't think there is much more to say or add...

Everyone knows where I stand and what is going on

But will update from time to time...

Today's update: she called me, we had the regular nice flirty conversation, I asked her if she felt like doing smthg, she said she was a bit tired, so I said no problem

She is travelling on Monday night to turkey for a 5 day vacation with her family (she has some time off before she starts work in the new department)...
She asked me if I can take her to the airport, and that she would like that, etc...
I told her that I would have to check with my secretary because I now have a busy schedule, and I'll get back to her ;) (teasing her)

I know what you all are going to say... that she is stringing me around, and she is keeping me close in case it doesn't work out with her ex, bla bla bla

Maybe that's true, but what ALSO could be true, is that OBVIOUSLY she still has feelings for me, she is not over me, and wants me to be the last person she sees before she goes off on vacation, etc... no manipulation or anything... just a girl that likes a guy and wants to see him before she travels..

She could have easily called a cab, but SHE called, and SHE wants to see me... so, she is doing some actions and putting some effort as well

Again, I say, time will tell what choice she will make
Regards

By the way, maybe it already isn't working out with her ex?. how the hell should I know? I sure as hell isn't going to bring him up and ask her about him

I'm just enjoying the ride, FOR NOW... if she is going to talk to me about her ex and what's going on, fine, but I isn't going to ask her... thats friend zone material!

She knows my stance: I'm cool with or without her... if she is going to put effort, I'll put effort... if she going to choose her ex, I'm backing away

[Mom of 2]

Yes, this story has been beaten to a pulp!! All of your posts are starting to say the same thing, over and over and over again. "She called again and we had the same flirty convo." If this was true love, you would stop with the games, talk seriously about what is going on, stop with the "flirty convos". When you are in love with someone, you have the ability to see a future with that person. Can you honestly do that? Both of you apparently want what you can't have. It is all a game. As long as she has her ex in the picture, you will never truly have her. She is choosing you because you are there and he is not. I highly doubt that if he were in the same country that you would even be in the picture. How does that make you feel? Seriously!! Cop a clue that you are getting played and she just wants to get laid!! Sorry that I am losing my patience with this, but if we don't totally agree with you and don't say exactly what you want to hear, you get overly defensive and start rationalizing every single action, every single word.

Seriously, I wish you all the luck in the world. I know that I have said this before, but you can NEVER make anyone come back to you. If she truly loved you and you truly loved her, then the games would stop and you would start getting real.

[liz28]

That right mom, mostly everyone been telling him that since day one but he want to do what he wants and it's his life so he can. But why ask for people advice if you don't want it and goes in defensive mode every time it's something you don't want to hear then call it bad advice. Some people just learn the hard way.

[Mom of 2]

As he says, "Time will tell".

[Matteus]

guys! im right here! hello! i can hear you...hehehe

if any guys want their ex back, do what i say...hehehe

Look at the way you reply to our posts. Does it sound serious? No. Are you being serious? I doubt.

bye boys!! we're in this together! :)

No, we aren't together in this. You are alone.

everyone knows where i stand and what is goin on

As you see, no one is being with you. But, in the end, its your life and do whatever you want, but don't ask for advice.

again, i say, time will tell what choice she will make

Till she makes a choice? She is not your GOD!! Be a man! What are you? Is there any sign of proud in your being?