Check out some similar questions!

goodmom · Sep 18, 2008, 11:41 AM

My husband of 31 years,walked away from our marriage.He left me a note,and hasn't been home since.He blames me for everything, no money is the big one.
All he has to do is work,work,and it's all my fault that there is no money.
We've put our kids,16,and 18 through some pretty good sporting activities, costly too.He also said the sex department was getting a little boring.He also said my discipline of the kids was too harsh,by not letting them go to parties, etc,,
He's out having the time of his life, hate to admit it,, but I'm a mess,emotionally.just feel like I can't function at times.He's not seeing anyone,that I know of.
We haven't had a drink for 13 years,and he really likes to hang out with the 25 year old guy's he plays hockey with.Any advice to cope, forgot to mention,, he's 48 years old

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 01:44 PM

I'm NOT expert by far... You have cried and cried, let it all out and let it go... now... why don't you do or get your nails done + get a new hair-do + put on some appealing clothes + give your girlfriends a call + go out to eat & the movies or something with them = have some fun & freedom. Oh yeah, have the kids go stay with you husband while you do that and be sure you kids know that you are going out with your friends. It will get back to your hubby, he may or may not care, but YOU go and have fun! There's a country song similar to this.. not joking.. a guy sings it... I believe it is called "She let her self go" may be by George Strait. I think you would like it and relate to it... if you would let yourself go. I wish you the best...

goodmom · Sep 18, 2008, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by ladyangler

I'm NOT expert by far...You have cried and cried, let it all out and let it go...now... why dont' you do or get your nails done + get a new hair-do + put on some appealing clothes + give your girlfriends a call + go out to eat & the movies or something with them = have some fun & freedom. Oh yeah, have the kids go stay with you husband while you do that and be sure you kids know that you are going out with your friends. It will get back to your hubby, he may or may not care, but YOU go and have fun! There's a country song similar to this..not joking..a guy sings it...I believe it is called "She let her self go" may be by George Strait. I think you would like it and relate to it...if you would let yourself go. I wish you the best...

Thank you,, but I don't drink,and pubs do nothing for me,, really,, sounds fun,, but yes,I'll do something for my-self.My daughter moves out oct 2nd,then it'll be me and my son,, she's totally on her dads side too,,

pluckyflamingo · Sep 18, 2008, 02:00 PM

Usually kids are at that age. Put yourself in there shoes, would you be on the dads side who says mom is to strict on the "party" rules, or the mom that says no to parties? The kid will always pick the parent that says yes to the parties. Personally the way kids party these days I'm making my daughter (she's only 3 months) where a chasity belt until she's 30 haha.
It is just irresponsible on his part to share that type of information with the children. That type of stuff should only be heard with mom and dads ears. That way kids don't favor one parent over the other. However, it just seems like that is exactly what he is trying to do.

goodmom · Sep 18, 2008, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by pluckyflamingo

usually kids are at that age. Put yourself in there shoes, would you be on the dads side who says mom is to strict on the "party" rules, or the mom that says no to parties? The kid will always pick the parent that says yes to the parties. Personally the way kids party these days I'm making my daughter (she's only 3 months) where a chasity belt until shes 30 haha.
It is just irresponsible on his part to share that type of information with the children. That type of stuff should only be heard with mom and dads ears. That way kids don't favor one parent over the other. However, it just seems like that is exactly what he is trying to do.

Thank-you, and I guess your right,, kids favoring the one that always says, "yes".just made me look like the evil one,, and yes parties these days are bad,, pretty scary!!

pluckyflamingo · Sep 18, 2008, 02:04 PM

As ladyangler said, just live for yourself I wouldn't exactly send the kids over there to rub it in his face, that is just meaning you are getting the kids involved in a situation you shouldn't, and is just bringing you down to his level. You have been a mother and a wife for so long that you forgot about the things you like to do yourself, so get with the program and start living, and everything will fall into place.

goodmom · Sep 18, 2008, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by pluckyflamingo

As ladyangler said, just live for yourself I wouldn't exactly send the kids over there to rub it in his face, that is just meaning you are getting the kids involved in a situation you shouldn't, and is just bringing you down to his level. You have been a mother and a wife for so long that you forgot about the things you like to do yourself, so get with the program and start living, and everything will fall into place.

Thanks, no I would not send the kids there,cause he'd probably head off to the pub anyway,and besides my daughter is 19,so he'd go with her.He hangs out with the younger crew.

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 03:49 PM

goodmom... I don't drink either. I don't suggest going out drinking. You can go out and have some good clean fun with your friends. Going out to eat and to the movies is not partying... it's living a little. I didn't mean rub it in his face, but it doesn't hurt to let him know that you can live a little too. (without the drinking) As far as the kids at his house, well he is their father, but taking his kids to a pub... not good. I agree with you with not sending your kids there.. didn't think a Father would do that, but totally agree with you on not letting them go to there dads. Let the kids spend the night at their friends house if all else. pluckyflamingo is right about the kids taking the side of the parent who isn't strict.

liz28 · Sep 18, 2008, 04:20 PM

Your husband is a coward for the way he left you. It sounds like he wants to relive his youth and not have any responsiblites. That is very selfish and childish. You don't need a boy, you already have one.

Of course your going feel hurt but what don't kill you only makes you stronger. Stay strong and enjoy life. Life is too short nowadays and you don't need to spend it crying over someone.

goodmom · Sep 18, 2008, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Your husband is a coward for the way he left you. It sounds like he wants to relive his youth and not have any responsiblites. That is very selfish and childish. You don't need a boy, you already have one.

Of course your going feel hurt but what don't kill you only makes you stronger. Stay strong and enjoy life. Life is too short nowadays and you don't need to spend it crying over someone.

Thank-you

talaniman · Sep 22, 2008, 06:47 AM

I can remember very well the feeling of life passing me by, and needed that last burst of energy to make myself feel good. I think all us guys go through that when we feel our mortality, and look back on a lot of time behind us. That's normal, but not the way he is doing it.

I strongly suggest that you let him alone, and take this as YOUR time for you. You can't help, or change him, or what he wants to do, but you can have a say in the direction your life will take from now on, so be selfish and love yourself.

Things are changing for you both, so don't let what he is doing stop you from doing what you want, without him, for yourself.