Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    marylulu028's Avatar
    marylulu028 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 17, 2008, 07:43 AM
    Break up
    Ok so for starters I was in a relationship that lasted for 2 years and 6 months! I mean I am still completely inlove. But when I talk to my ex...I ask him if he still loves me and he says he does!!

    I mean i just dont get it.....the reason we broke up was because he said he wanted his own space! He wanted to be alone and figure out if he really loves me...Which I think is like ok either you know you love me or you dont!!!!!!! So he said yes I do, but then why do this to me you know? Ugh it just frustrates me....and ever since the break up I have been calling him so in a way I havent been able to really give him his space....We were living together for 1 year and a half! So its veryy hard for me just to stop calling. I mean yes I understand he needs his space...but if you love me why can't we just work things out!!!!!!!!! I just need help to figure out what it is that the problem might be?????? Does he love me? Or he just lying to me? PLease HELP!:confused:
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Sep 17, 2008, 07:52 AM
    Only he knows that, we can't answer that question for you. He says he wants his space, so its best to give it to him and lots of it. Stop calling and having any contact with him, he will contact you if he wishes too. The more you push the further he moves away. You may think you're showing you care but he sees it as you being needy
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Sep 17, 2008, 08:03 AM
    You are missing the point. You need space here as much, if not more, than he does.

    I've loved two great women that I couldn't be with... call it timing, me not ready, issues in the relationship... sometimes you are in love with someone, but can't be with them.

    And that might be you being in love with a person who isn't right for you. Or maybe he is. You don't know.

    But what he needs IS space. You need him to feel what its like to be without you. Gone.

    no... its not what you want. Not what you're hoping for. Not easy.

    But necessary. Very much needed.

    Back off and leave him alone. If your absence drives him to contact you, keep some distance. At this point he needs to be chasing you down to be with you... and even if he contacts you, you don't know if its because of a change of heart or if he just misses the security of the known, the comfort of the familiar.

    Well... comfort of the familiar isn't sexy, isn't lasting, isn't enough.

    So... time to do the hard work that he has demanded.

    Back off. Back away. He has asked for distance. Time to make it. Don't be his butler. Don't be the girl who holds his hand emotionally while he is dumping you.

    Be the girl who is strong enough to demand more for herself and from herself. The reality is you are not together right now.

    Time to refocus your energy on yourself, your work, your friends... even a little anger doesn't hurt.

    But do not, under any circumstances, go out of your way to make it easy for him. If stepping back means you "lose him" faster... you didn't have a chance anyway.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 18, 2008, 10:33 AM
    Your the problem, as your efforts to keep a dead relationship alive, has you confused and miserable.

    You have not let go, nor given him his space after its obvious he doesn't want to work things out.

    Do yourself a favor, and cut all contact, and get a better perspective on your actions.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

I am so confuesed. Break? Does that mean break up? [ 3 Answers ]

My boyfriend decided to text me and tell me we needed a break. He promised me we would get back together. He said he keeps thinking about the past and stupid stuff. He said I was his everything and that we would be back together real soon. His ex has kept bothering him.. and now we talk but I...

Break up and taking a break [ 3 Answers ]

My boyfriend asked for a break because he's been too busy. Its been a week and I'm not sure whether were on a break or completely done. The last he told me was that we weren't completely done. But how do I know if we're still on a break or if its over?

My boyfriend wants to break up with me [ 2 Answers ]

My boy friend doesn't trust me he's jealous, he wants to break up with me because he thinks I'm not lady he's asking me to leave him in peace . I don't know what to do to make him trust me I quited smoking because he asked me too .he's accusing me that I'm prisoning him he wants his freedom. I...


View more questions Search