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Having lost a fiancé and many friends in Vietnam, and also working for the US Army most of my life, I learned that a 'war zone' changes a person extremely. There are many stress factors involved and some don't even want to talk about their tours... it's just too much to share with people who have never been in that environment.
He might feel that need to experience as much of life as possible before it's lost forever. He might also be in conflict with himself and his beliefs and just does not know how to express it. If possible, talk to some veterans about their relationships and how they adjusted to their roles. Just a thought...  Nothing works well at long-distance, it takes strength, trust and stamina, above all understanding.
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I understand with what you mean. I would feel totally the same in this case about how the war zone changes people except he is not in any immediate danger, he is a army helicoptor mechanic, and he stays on base and where he is located right now has been safe thus far. I know things can always change and it can become another zone for fighting again but he is pretty safe and has been his whole deployment there so far and this is his second tour to Iraq.
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My brother is also an Aircraft Mechanic in the Army, and even though not on the 'front line' it's impossible to be totally safe in a country where you feel all others are the enemy and you don't know where the next attack is going to come from. Unfortunately they way situations are at present, there is no total safety in any country.
I live near, and worked for, the US Army Hospital in Landstuhl, Germany - and even here people experience a stress factor that they have not had to deal with in the past. This is affecting everyone even remotely involved.
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Long distancde relationships are EXTREMELY difficult enough... let alone being in Iraq. Personally - I don't wish a LD relationship on anyone. They are too HARD IF you care about that person - USUALLY ONE person is LEADING the other one along... lying. The TRUST is impossible to hold up - someone, in most cases usually finds someone else that is available to them all the time.
The stress of being in the service is impossible when in action. Just the facts: he will come home different most likely - nothing he can help. |
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