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This morning with be my starting date - its so hard right now. I'm at work and all I can do is think of him. I can't get anything accomplished. Just thought I'd join this thread for support. It gives me hope after reading everyone's post that it gets better as time passes.
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Hi guyz and girls,
I have been hanging out here for a while, decided to post, here is my story, nine years ago I started dating my ex, I was a freshman at college and had recently moved to the U.S( did not have any family here). She was basically the closet thing to family that I had here. Long story short we dated for 6 years and broke up about 2 and a half years ago.I hung around for a year and a half waiting for her to come bak, I would call every day send her flowers on valentine day and on her birthday even though we were not going out.SHe would not retun my calls at first but eventually she started calling me too every night telling me how her day went. We did that for about a year( she was messing around with other people while we were still talking to eah other).6 months ago she asked if I wanted to do the dating thing again. I jumped at the opportunity. We started talking about marriage, and I was planing to propose in about a month. She calls me 4 days ago saying she that she doesn't know if it is going to work betwenn us. I told I was willing to compromise on a lot of stuff that we had problems with. But I guess it wasn't enough for her. SHe said she couldn't do it anymore. I tried to convivnce her otherwise. Didn't work. Now she is gong. I feel this empty void. I am very sad, usually cry a couple of times a day. But the funny thing like last time I don't have the urge to call her. For some odd reason I am missiong something but its not her. Its hard to explain. I haven't had any contat with her fir the last 2 days. It hurts a lot.I hope it gets better with time. I really do |
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You are missing what she was, or what you thought she was, and not who she is. That is a good thing, though it may not seem to be. You can use that as motivation to move on from her, since she is not what you want anyway -- and begin looking to the future to find what it is you want, and what it is that makes you truly happy...
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Nine years of my life wasted. I guess that's why it hurts. We share the same phone plan too so I would have to talk to her about getting my name off the plan.Thats the last thing I want to do right now is talk to her, will probably bring back all the memories. Any ideas on how to deal with this
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First off - none of that time was wasted time. Everything you do in life is a learning experience. All of the time you spent together helped to shape and mold you into who you are now, that's hardly a waste of time.
As far as the phone plan goes - if you are worried about talking to her on the phone or in person about it, perhaps you can write an email or a letter. That way you can keep it very professional, impersonal, and plan out what you write rather than having to think on your toes and watch what you say... |
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Thought of this, but don't you think it might look a little strange. When she ended the relationship we both agreed we would be friend( I don't know why I agreed). I know for a fact that I could probably never be just her friend. So I really don't know how to approach this, an email or a letter might just come off childish or immaturish..
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 Originally Posted by Dare81
Bro~ Don't sweat it. I had the urge to call my ex, but it lessened to the point where I don't care if she called me or not. Yes, 9 years has been wasted... but look at other users... hjpan (me), romefalls, bigbird, boris etc. all suffered the same thing! Guess what? It gets a bit better later on :D! Right now, I got few girls who want to hook up with me :)! Two of them have already said "I love you" to me~ Just takes time.. which is hard |
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Originally Posted by Dare81
Also it's not really weird that you don't want to contact her. While I was miserable, I would never contact her first ever. It was always in response to her (which I should have ignored). But who really cares why, just be thankful that you don't have the urge to call her. |
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