[dean19cleavland]

Why do we (my sister and I) constantly fight. One day she stole my iPod and didn't return it . She lied about taking it and blamed it on my mother, so I would yell at her, because she wanted to get even with her. She always tells everyone about her problems with her boyfriend, yet when it becomes topic she denies it. She always saids the right thing to piss me off. Why? She is no better than me. She is 21 and I'm 19. She sleeps till 3 then goes to her boyfriends all night. That's her life. Yet she saids I don't have one, why? She always does things that get on my nerves. We just met 1 year ago, I was adopted and I just reunited with her. iif she doesn't stop threating me she and I won't be talking anymore. Please, someone help me!!

[JBeaucaire]

Not talking to her may be the only effective response. Hopefully at some point, she'll ask why.

When she does, you have to be calm and non-aggressive as you tell her. This is REALLY hard to do correctly.

"We want different things. I want a fun and honest and close bond with a sister, and you don't. And that's fine with me. Your dishonesty over things like the iPod, blaming others for it, well, I realize you have a different way of dealing with the world than I do. I truly want us to be friends, in fact, I actually need it. You're my only shot at a 'sister', but I have to let you be you. It's unfair of me to put my morality on you, I DON'T want to be a motherly type, so I think it's just best if I just leave you alone to enjoy life without me being disappointed at our relationship. I hope you understand."

Hmm, even that needs some work... but you get the idea. This is a tough call. Best bet, leave her alone. She may never be the sister you'd wish for, and that has to be OK. Your life will still have to be lived to its best, so focus on things that DO work and people that ARE good for you.

[talaniman]

There is no one who can push my buttons, and frustrate me more, than my own brother. After 50 some years, nothing has changed, and he is even better at it than ever before. When you get a workable solution, please fill me in. I am really to big to be hiding under the bed!! (first place he would look any way!)

[MsMewiththat]

I disagree strongly with the "leave her alone" approach and whole heartedly with the post above that states that is what siblings do. Who knows how better than them, they know us best. My feeling when it comes to family is work it out. What are your options? Your sister is who she is and you won't be able to change her, stop trying to. Find a way to appreciate her for who she is. Stop giving her the reaction she is looking for. Set your own boundaries, by letting her know what you prefer. Lock your belongings up so she can't take them. Let her words roll of your back. LET IT GO!