[fjsmith81]

I just want to know why is it that we can dish out great advice, but never take it ourselves? I hope that I am posting this in the right topic category. I have always wondered this question. I can give my friends the best advice, but if I were in the same situation I know the answer, but I just don't want to do what I think.

Is it because I want to prove myself wrong and believe that every individual situation is different because the players of the game are different?? Is it because I am stubborn?? Is it because I think that I am superior to my friends and the same advice that I give to them is not the advice that would work for me? I know that I am not the only one with this dilemma.

Why do people give great advice and never take their own??

[starbuck8]

Well you are right. It is so much clearer being on the outside looking in. The problem is, when you are the one in the situation, you know all of the details, the in's and out's, and the background that others don't. That is why people go to others for advice! They question their own behaviour, when they know if it was themselves dishing out their own advice, their own behaviour would be questionable.

I am guilty of giving advice on something I have clearly done myself, and told others not to do, but when I give that advice, it really makes me think about the things I do. I think it helps you learn when you give advice, as long as you are listening to yourself while you are giving it.

I suppose it could be a matter of arrogance or ego, but we all do things that we tell other people not to do. So, I guess I didn't do the greatest job of answering that did I?

Okay, I am going to go run with scissors, maybe poke someone's eye out, and sit way too close to my TV! LOL! :p

[SweetDee]

I think that giving advice is easier than taking it. Your emotionally removed when you're giving. Whereas when you're taking you're all caught up in the worry and fear of the drama. If you wouldn't take your OWN advice, you're right when you say it may be because the players have changed, which in turn makes you feel like it no longer can apply to you. By not taking your own advice you may be feeling like you wouldn't have the courage to actually do it. It's so hard to follow through sometimes, even if we have the best of intentions.

[0rphan]

I think when you give advice, your distant from the problem... your outside of it, because it's not happening to you, therefore you can see much more clearly in an unbiast manner,enabling you to give good advice to the person in question.

However most of the time,we tend to think that our own opinions are the correct ones,making it much more difficlult to accept advice for our own problems.
When an answer to our problems are pointed out to us, by a third party, the solution to the problem becomes completely obvious to us, we have just been to close to it to see clearly.

I think we all like to be independent,not relying on anyone in life, trouble is sometimes we have to give in for the preservation of our own sanity.

[startover22]

I was just asking myself this same question. WHY?? I agree with the above posters!

There are certainly different response or advice for different people in the same position too. I get caught up in the feel good feeling of helping someone here, I take the time to read the question and give advice. In my own life, it isn't written, it is said, and you have to respond, sometimes without thinking time!;)

And like Starby said up there, giving advice is great, it makes you think about your next step, it helps putting your own life in perspective. Thank you for this thread, my wheels are turning!

[Stringer]

I think that giving advice is easier than taking it. Your emotionally removed when you're giving. Whereas when you're taking you're all caught up in the worry and fear of the drama. If you wouldn't take your OWN advice, you're right when you say it may be due to the fact that the players have changed, which in turn makes you feel like it no longer can apply to you. By not taking your own advice you may be feeling like you wouldn't have the courage to actually do it. It's so hard to follow through sometimes, even if we have the best of intentions.

Good response SweetDee... I feel that you are right and there are no consequences when you are not emotionally involved and it is easy to give advice. You will not have to pay the piper when you give advice but possibly different when you have to take your own...

Stringer

[fjsmith81]

You know all of these responses are very insightful. I'm about to be facetious. I'm a libra and I always thought that it was just something that I did. You know us libras, always being indecisive and fearing that we will make the wrong decision, but after I talked to non librans they tell me that they have the same conflict.

It's funny, I went to a therapist once. It's not because I am crazy, but it's because I heard that it is always a good idea to get an unbiased opinion of everything that is going on in your life, and to just vent to someone that will never judge. So in our one and only session he asked me what the problem was, and I gave him a long list of things. Then he asked me what I think that I should be doing about every problem that I listed. I knew the answers right away. I talked the entire session, and when the session was over I asked him if I was crazy. He asked me why don't I take my own advice. I thought it was kind of rude, because you are never supposed to answer a question with another question, lol. But I said to him that I didn't know. He went on to say that I am sane, but that my only problem was that I know the steps that I need to take in my life, but I need to actually take those steps. Needless to say, that was the worst $75 dollars I ever spent in my life. I know the advice that I give to myself, I guess I just wanted to know why I didn't take my own advice.

I know that I am going off on a tangent here, but sometimes my life is like those choose your destiny books. You know the ones you read as a kid. Do you want to do this turn to page 13 or do you want to do this turn to page 45.

[ISneezeFunny]

It's actually the reason why we go to therapists and go to sites like these.

I think most of us know what to do whenever we're in bad situations... but we always think our situation's different... and that the solution we require is different, when really... it's as easy as... I was going to say baking, but the last time I tried baking, my steak caught on fire.

[coogiez]

I can :p

Yeah, arrogance like a rocket :rolleyes:

[starbuck8]

i can :p

yeah, arrogance like a rocket :rolleyes:

Did I miss something? I have no idea what that even meant?! :rolleyes:

[coogiez]

It's like trying to stabbing someone in the eye with a staple-gun,
It's logically fking hard to stab someone in the eye with the actual gun,

But still possible.