[kminni01]

So, once again I'm back with a question about whether I should get out there and start dating. Although I'm still in love with my best friend, I feel all right being just friends. I've been meeting a lot of new people and some of them really like me and have asked me out. Is it fine and dandy going out with them despite my feelings for my friend? I mean, I will always love him, but we're just friends and that's the way he wants it. I told him that I love him, just to recap if you haven't read my other posts, but he's gay and there's nothing that's going to happen between us anytime soon if at all. I want to get out there, but I want to be fair to that other person. Should I go for it anyway? I feel like I could feel for them if I gave them a chance, but is that being fair to them and myself? Just also to state that I am better than I was before when it comes to loving him more than a friend. I have accepted friendship, but yet I still love him.

[hjpan]

Ummm.... he already admitted he is gay which means no opposite sex involved...

Find another guy.

[JBeaucaire]

You're being ridiculous. Seriously. You're making a drama where none exists.

"I love peanut butter, so should I mow the lawn?"

Your situation reads about that nonsensical. You like a guy who not only doesn't like you (simple ending to the problem right there), but doesn't like girls at all. That's like having a crush on a parking meter, isn't it? And about as useful... Pining after parking meters would be pretty silly, wouldn't it?

Of COURSE you're going to date. We can't even call it "dating others", because you AREN'T dating the first guy. He's just a parking meter.

Of COURSE you're going to date. And you're not going to think twice about it. It's a step of maturity to be able to see the world the way it IS, not the way you WANT IT, and live successfully in it.

There's not even an issue here, at least not the one you posted. Come back and talk to us about some of your dating adventures, we eagerly await that chapter.

[wanta2ndchance]

I have the Same problem, except the guy I still love isn't gay. I think you should start dating. Maybe one day he'll come to his senses and realize that you're the one. Just keep being his friend, but don't mention anything else about the relationship you want to have with him. And if he doesn't come to his senses, maybe he just wasn't right for you.
(This is my own Opinion, but I wouldn't want to date a guy who's been kissing [and other things] with other guys. But feel free to disagree. Like I said, that's MY opinion.)

[Himynameismeg]

So... I've got a problem much like yours. I've got a very close friend whom I've been intamite with for the past year... seriously the past 5 months. I'd assume he knows how I feel about him, but I've never come out and told him. He has recently moved, so my opportunities to see him are now very rare, and I don't know whether I should tell him, or just move on... In your case I would say find someone new, but as you can see I'm not exactly in a position to give advice.

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to start dating and consider going to more no contact with the good friend, since it is hard to stop having feelings for someone if you keep staying around that person.

[MsMewiththat]

OK, I find it amusing that people can say they have the "exact same problem" and then go on to explain different circumstances. You are being fair to yourself and considering other people's feelings and that is fair. What is not fair is how you have yourself on the hook with your feelings. It's okay to date people and when you are ready you should start. Plenty of people go out on dates while caring about some one else and sometimes more than one other person. What will happen is that you may begin to develop feelings for someone else. You can continue to be friends with your friend, but you have to make the necessary adjustment to understanding the limitations in your relationship. I dated someone when I was in high school and we broke up. Several months after we broke up and after he graduated from high school, he invited me out to explain to me that he had since "come out". That didn't;t mean that my feelings were null and void, it meant that I had a new reality to adjust to. That happens, take your time, you will get over it and you will be okay.

[SweetDee]

You have no idea how common it is to fall in love w/ your gay best friend... Didn't hollywood even make movies about that subject matter as well?

Try to move on... it's the healthiest way to handle this issue.

You NEED to put yourself out there in the dating world. You want a boyfriend... right? Go get one that's into you.

You deserve to have a relationship w/ someone who will see your opposite sexual attributes!

You may always love him but the love you have right now will slowly shift into the kind of love that we have specificlally share w/ our gay best friend.

[JBeaucaire]

kminni01 disagrees: wasn't very nice and thanks for comparing my gay friend to a parking meter :P (rude)

Ah well, sorry my metaphor went over your head. That post was supposed to be encouraging overall, but you got stuck on two words.

Unfortunate. Hope you don't do that all the time... miss the big picture because you get put off by some small detail. One of my early girlfriends was like that, made it very hard to talk to her.

We're still wishing you the best. Maybe you should reread my post and hear EVERYTHING that was said in it. Just an idea...

[brkfstatiffs]

Why are you in love with a gay man? I haven't read your previous posts, but move on. Keep him as friend, and if you need to step away from him so that you can emotionally get to a place where you need to be to move on. I definitely say get out there and date, don't hold back because you are in love with a man who will never be anything more to you than a friend.

[talaniman]

At least you realize ain't nothing happening with the gay guy, and are trying to move on. That's good.

You always love some people, whether you get with them, or not.