[Kiddy389]

Hello, I just joined this site and is new to all this. Well what I wanted to ask is for like the past few months I've been trying to get a friend of mine to go out with me. Not saying it out loud but giving little hints about it. I'm 13 so I don't know much about dating, I try holding his hand, rubbing his back, leaning up against him, or putting my head on his shoulder. He was fine with that until people started complaining when I would take his arm and put it around me. Hes 20yrs old I've known him for like 5 or 6yrs now I would truly like to go out with him but I don't think he's interested in me other than a friendship. And I think one reason is because people are complaining that I'm getting to attached to him and too close to him.

[hybridtek]

Your 13, he's 20?

[Kiddy389]

Yeah why what's wrong with that? My dad is 46 and my mom is only 39 and there together.

[Curlyben]

For starers there are SERIOUS legal considerations.
Do you want him to be labelled a paedophile??
13 is no where near legal especially in Massachusetts!
What possible interest has a 20 year old have with a 13 year old!!

[Kiddy389]

Well that's the thing he's not interested in me. I'm trying to get him interested in me. He's so nice, caring, responsible, loving everything someone could ask for. But he says I'm to young that if I was like 18 or older he would consider me but he doesn't.

[Curlyben]

Sounds to me that he has he head screwed on right.
So BACK OFF and allow him his wishes.
You will only end up causing him untold trouble.

[JBeaucaire]

It's unfortunate that you like him in a way that appears to not take his life into consideration at all. You don't seem to care AT ALL what it means for a 20 year old to show any interest in a 13 year old.

I'm sorry you're age feels like it isn't an issue, 100 years ago it wouldn't have been, but you would also already be working and it was EXPECTED for you to be married and having babies in the next couple of years. But that was then.

You live in 2008. In 2008, if you manage to get a 20 year old to date you, he could (at the least) become an outcast to the entire community or (at the worst) end up in jail, beaten or even killed.

If you actually LIKE him, stop ignoring reality and respect it. Respect what liking you back would COST him. Like him enough to care about his life, too, OK?

[ScottGem]

I suspect this person is using the legal argument so as not to hurt your feelings as much. Because I doubt very much if a 20 yr old is interested in a relationship with a 13 yr old. You are a child, just approaching dating age. He's an adult, and his interests are more in adult things. Because he's known you so long he doesn't want hurt you, but he knows that the age gap is too great at your ages. The 7 year different between your parents is fine because they are both adults. I'm sure when they started their relationship they were BOTH adults. BTW, have you talked about your feelings with your parents?

There is no future in this relationship now. Maybe, when you have reached 18 and if he's still available, you can see if he is interested in a romantic relationship. For now, you need to stick with boys closer to your own age.

[ConfusedInAK]

Well you have already been informed it isn't legally sound...

He's not interested in you and you need to respect his wishes. In his eyes you are probably still a child.

Really, you need to consider this a teenage crush and let it go...