[Sammie66]

Exactly my intentions. I still miss my ex, and it's still an effort to not look at her Facebook etc, but I'm enjoying texting this new girl. She's really nice. Maybe not quite what I want long term but we'll see.

Still gutted that my ex chose the excitement of a new relationship over a commitment to me. Like you say, she obviously doesn't know what she wants. It has really made me lose faith a bit though. Do we just fall in love with the person we spend most time with? That's what she did.

[Ithappenstoall]

"Do we just fall in love with the person we spend most time with? That's what she did"

You do not know that so don't think it. Why do you still about how she acts, it will not help in anyway, trust me. If you feel you start thinking about a particular time you were together or what she had gotten you that day on your birthday or whatever STOP. What good will it do nothing. Move forward thinking you had a great time with her and it was fun and she had a great time as well. But now it s unfortuenelty over.

Now, with the new girl, it is good you are taking things slow. You get to know a little and maybe start liking this girl. Give her and yourself a chance without ANY comparison the ex.
Good luck

[Sammie66]

I'm not really comparing as such.

I knew when my ex got the bar job, we'd drift apart and she'd get attached to the barman she spent most time with. It happened. I just don't believe in love anymore I'm afraid.

[busterite]

I knew when my ex got the bar job, we'd drift apart and she'd get attached to the barman she spent most time with.

If you had a feeling about this then the only thing it means is that she had shown signs of instability and you did not fully trust her, possibly because of things she had done in the past. Maybe that is why you panicked early in the relationship as you said. Would you want to be with someone that every time they started a new job or be around new people would make you worry on whether they will fall in love with them?

[Sammie66]

Maybe you are right. I just thought that with the amount of time she spent at that bar we couldn't see each other enough to grow together.

I still miss her every day.

[FULLofRACQUET]

I have come to realize, maybe you aren't missing her, but you are missing what she gave to you. Comfort, security in knowing somebody will be there, someone to wake up to in the morning, etc. etc.

I wrote down everything that I feel like I am looking for in a woman, and then I crossed out all of the parts that my ex didn't fulfill. Surprisingly, there weren't many things left on that list. She fulfilled a lot of my physical needs, but emotionally and mentally she was destroying me. About a month into the relationship I started to get doubts about her trustworthiness, and that isn't healthy for anyone in a relationship. I even came across some writing that I did before I dated her which was talking about her and her pursuit of me, and how I feel like she is all kinds of wrong and that I am going to avoid the temptations of her. Well, I succumbed to temptations, and paid the price.

It's tough, but keep your head up and don't give up on humanity and love. If you enjoy your life, then the woman of your dreams will appear basically out of nowhere.

And it's understandable that you miss her because she was apart of your life in a big way, but think of everything else you are MISSING out on while sitting around missing her...

[Sammie66]

Shame she was everything I wanted and still is.

I was just too caught up in thinking "she's my first girlfriend so I wonder what the next will be like" and I realised she was perfect for me too late.

I have nothing but love and admiration for her. I just have to accept that my feelings won't change and I'll have to find someone else and hope I love them more.

[Sammie66]

Met up with my date again last night. She's really nice and I don't have to worry about her being too young because she isn't. Hopefully things will go well.

[mckenzie134]

She is absolutely Lying to you!! Gave you chances, seen this before mate she just wasn't that into you and only wanted you there as a friend.

Sending a message saying she is feeling lonely she saw was she is just a user and only wants company and doesn't want to be alone... Let her go she will come running once she has completely lost you!!
This girl is unfit to be your girlfriend when you find a real girlfriend you will then realise what the hell was I waisting my time for...

[Sammie66]

So I like my new date, but my ex is still on my mind most of the time. Help

[Sammie66]

Had another date and she's lovely. But I also like another girl I've met. Confusion. I think girl number 1 is probably more suitable though. Girl number 2 is a complete freak but AMAZING fun. Never met anyone so simplistic and I love it!

I'm glad I'm going on holiday soon - Time to think about what to do!

[hjpan]

Forget the hoe....

She CHEATED on you while you 2 were dating.

Is that not obvious that she doesn't care about how you feel?

[talaniman]

Date them both. Problem fixed.

[Sammie66]

I'm not two timing. I'm not lowering myself to my ex's level. I have morals.

My friend thinks my ex story is disgusting - he's not religious but has respect for people and thinks for her to move in with someone else so soon is just wrong.

[Ithappenstoall]

Don't look at it as two timing, go out to see who you feel you are more compatible with and take it from there, as you start going out with them more, you will know which one you get along best with and perhaps start something there, remember for now have fun!!

[talaniman]

I'm not two timing. I'm not lowering myself to my ex's level. I have morals.

My friend thinks my ex story is disgusting - he's not religious but has respect for people and thinks for her to move in with someone else so soon is just wrong.

Your young, single, and free, so its not two timing to date whom you want to. Its much to early for any kind of commitment to a stranger, you don't know, so why are you??? That's what dating is about, hanging out, and see if this thing clicks, and when it doesn't you move on. Why limit your options and choices?? Do you want a relationship so bad, you would limit yourself and put the pressure of making things work longterm, when you know absolutely about someone? Just be honest with yourself, and your dates.

[Sammie66]

My holiday has done wonders for me. I told one of my dates the truth and she still wants to be friends which is nice, so we still chat and text. The other girl I am seeing and it is going quite well. She's really easygoing and I am enjoying getting to know her.

Also my ex and I are in contact, but I don't really care for what she has to say anymore. It's like someone has taken away her power. Whether things would be different in person I have no idea, but I feel much stronger, much more like me.

I feel so much more relaxed and contented with things. I'm not as desperate as I was, not as panicky and stressed.

I realise that I'm quite an easygoing guy and I could potentially date anyone. I just need to figure out what I want long term. I'm just taking it so slowly and trying to have fun and I feel positive about things. I'm trying to work on other aspects of my life as well.

Plus, recently I've noticed that girls seem to be taking more interest in me. I must've got better looking or something, but it's weird how many girls seem to be smiling at me recently. Maybe it's a confidence thing?

[Ithappenstoall]

Told you you would be better soon. Good for you buddy

[Sammie66]

Thanks, although I still miss my ex and don't get her in saying she wants to be friends but after I told her it might take time for me to regain the trust she kind of backed down. My dad told me to ignore her games.

I'm just a little bit lost because I don't exactly know what I want now.

[talaniman]

I'm just a little bit lost because I don't exactly know what I want now.

Join the party, and have fun figuring it out. If it weren't for my grandkids telling me what to do, I'd be lost!

Glad your feeling better, I knew you would! Guess what, it gets better yet, can you stand it??