[JudyKayTee]

He started calling my mom a slut, a town whore, and denying ever meeting me when I was a baby, and denying ever knowing I existed... which is fine, I expected that!! My whole family expected that. He keeps insisting that we just take an at home test, which is out of the question, screw that especially because of what Fr_Chuck just said about someone else taking it for him! The convo we just had didn't get us anywhere. He said at first he imagined me as some vulnerable defensless little girl but since hes talked to me and found out that ive been arrested once, and that i have a boyfriend thats older than me, etc etc now he doesn't think I'm that little girl growing up without a father. I didnt really understand what he was trying to say......do you guys??!?! Then he was saying that I grew up well, my mother has money, I'm on a petistool, my life was peaches and cream, and I shouldn't be ruining his life and he wants to go back to his normal life...

It seems to me like hes trying to make me and my mother feel bad about finding him and saying "I think you're my father". Which in a way I understand because of the shock factor, but I know I don't owe him anything. I think he just always thought that this would never surface ya know...haha jokes on him, its surfaced. The proof will be in the pudding when we take a test...

But can he refuse to take a family court appointed paternity test?? my grandma says no, or they might issue a warrant for his arrest. This whole thing is stressssssin me out!!! Until next time

Sad news, indeed - so much for my theory that he needs time to think things over and let all of this sink in!

Sounds like his defense is he's bad but you're worse - or something equally stupid.

I don't know what Family Court will do - I've seen them order testing in cases where inherited health problems are involved or inheritance but I don't know how many they deny for every one they approve.

I just hope you can walk away from all of this, one way or the other, relatively unscathed. This has to be just shattering.

Let us know -

[zawatska]

I am interested to know what kind of health problems run in his family. I know his mother just died of cancer last year... but anyway, I know the judge will ask me what took me so long, and my answer will be that I couldn't find him.. no one could.

[JudyKayTee]

I am interested to know what kind of health problems run in his family. I know his mother just died of cancer last year...but anyways, I know the judge will ask me what took me so long, and my answer will be that I couldn't find him..no one could.

BINGO! You've got it!

[zawatska]

So what do u have in mind as far as out outfits for maury go??

That is, if this whole court thing doesn't work...

[JudyKayTee]

so what do u have in mind as far as out outfits for maury go???

that is, if this whole court thing doesnt work...

Let's see, we're both blonde so something that looks good on blondes. I very seldom watch Maury but I DO see a lot of spandex on the show. Wonder how we'd look in spandex - :D

Maybe AMHD would provide the outfits if we'd give them free publicity - wonder who I should contact about that? Of course, we COULD end up with t-shirts with AMHD written across our chests which might not be terribly flattering.

I'll get back to you on this -

[JudyKayTee]

Does anyone know a free website that locates people? Just a name search or a free police record search? I'm looking for someone in PA...

So what happened - ? Don't leave me hanging!

[zawatska]

Well I filled out the petition for a paternity test, and dropped it off. Since all the women who work in the office are good friends with my Grandma because she worked there, they pushed my petition ahead, and our court date is Sept. 10th! Less then 2 weeks away! On that day me and my mom will take tests, and then play the waiting game for the results... and for him to take his too. I haven't talked to him since he freaked out on me and was calling my mom a slut, but I'm wondering if I should tell him that I got my papers/summon in the mail today? What do you think? I don't think he deserves to know at this point, but I'm interested to see what else he's got to say...

And NO SPANDEX, yuck! ;)

[JudyKayTee]

Well I filled out the petition for a paternity test, and dropped it off. Since all the women who work in the office are good friends with my Grandma because she worked there, they pushed my petition ahead, and our court date is Sept. 10th! less then 2 weeks away! On that day me and my mom will take tests, and then play the waiting game for the results...and for him to take his too. I havent talked to him since he freaked out on me and was calling my mom a slut, but I'm wondering if I should tell him that I got my papers/summon in the mail today?? What do you think? I don't think he deserves to know at this point, but I'm interested to see what else hes got to say...

And NO SPANDEX, yuck!! ;)

OK, spandex is out.

I think I'd leave him alone for the minute - I'm sure you'll hear from him when he hears from the Court!

[zawatska]

Yeah even though I've told him I'm going the family court route, I think its still going to be a bad day for him when he gets those papers!

[zawatska]

Okay newest update... he got our original court date (sept 10th) adjourned to oct.8th. He is having some PA lawyer do some research for him to find out if it is 100% necessary for him to fill out the financial affidavit... which as my grandma says, it is! The lawyer is not representing my "father" because he does not have a license to practice in NYS. Everyone at family court says that this is the only time he can put off court because a secretary there marked our file as "do not allow any more adjournments". Lol!

[JudyKayTee]

Okay newest update...he got our original court date (sept 10th) adjourned to oct.8th. He is having some PA lawyer do some research for him to find out if it is 100% necessary for him to fill out the financial affidavit... which as my grandma says, it is! The lawyer is not representing my "father" because he does not have a license to practice in NYS. Everyone at family court says that this is the only time he can put off court because a secretary there marked our file as "do not allow any more adjournments". lol!

He thinks he can get around Family Court - ? Surprising because Family Court is tough.

Let's see, October 8th. Another month to ride things out.

I'm surprised he was allowed this adjournment but he has to have a chance - I guess.

OK, back to planning our outfits for Maury :)

You must be on pins and needles - well, this gives you more time to be prepared, build up some internal strength for whatever happens.

But still - I was hoping it would get resolved for you.

[zawatska]

You're tellin' me... I wanted it to be done and over with... good thing this is the only time he will be allowed to put it off. Haha. I let him have this one. He doesn't want anyone to know how much he makes, so he's either more broke than he says and is embarrassed, or he's better off than he says, who knows... who cares... I think he's just worried about paying 20 years of back support which obviously won't happen, if I got support they would only go back to the day I petitioned and that would be a month ago...

I just hope he shows up in NY to take the test with us, because then we'd all find out sooner. If my mom and I take it alone, then NYS family court would have to get with PA court and arrange for him to take it at his local hospital or wherever... I hope he just doesn't refuse to take the test because then they'll issue a warrant for his arrest, and most likely suspend his driving license. He won't answer 2 emails that I sent him, like I'm the bad guy or something.. it just shows how "mature" he is. Oh and did you know that Maury isn't free? I called the show and it's something ridiculous like $400 bucks to get a paternity test... plus airfare, food, hotel whatever.

Until next time,
Katie

[JudyKayTee]

You're tellin' me... I wanted it to be done and over with... good thing this is the only time he will be allowed to put it off. haha. I let him have this one. He doesn't want anyone to know how much he makes, so hes either more broke than he says and is embarrassed, or he's better off than he says, who knows...who cares... I think he's just worried about paying 20 years of back support which obviously won't happen, if I got support they would only go back to the day I petitioned and that would be a month ago...

I just hope he shows up in NY to take the test with us, because then we'd all find out sooner. If my mom and I take it alone, then NYS family court would have to get with PA court and arrange for him to take it at his local hospital or wherever...I hope he just doesn't refuse to take the test because then they'll issue a warrant for his arrest, and most likely suspend his driving license. He won't answer 2 emails that I sent him, like I'm the bad guy or something.. it just shows how "mature" he is. Oh and did you know that Maury isn't free? I called the show and it's something ridiculous like $400 bucks to get a paternity test...plus airfare, food, hotel whatever.

Until next time,
Katie

Have to wonder what he's thinking - hopefully his Attorney will tell him not to play around with this stuff or he'll get in some serious trouble.

The sad thing is if he had been responsible the first time your mother ever told him about you you could have known each other all these years and he could have avoided all this now. Well, maybe it's a lesson for other people -

I'm amazed that you have to PAY for the Maury show - ridiculous.

Well, hopefully the Courts will take care of things.

I had to smile - I had no idea what your first name is. My name actually is Judy Katie. Small World, isn't it - ?

[zawatska]

My real name is kathryn, but everyone calls me Katie.. and yes , it is weird!!

[rajsmom06]

Is there a way to find people even if they are unlisted?

[zawatska]

Yeah you can pay for a background check on the internet... some things like address and criminal record may come up... Ive been through them all... if you want I can help you, people on here have helped me, and I've learned a lot! And they told me all the sources to go to... message me a name and I can try my best

[zawatska]

Only ANSWER the question on this page here. Do NOT ASK a question.

You are NOT logged in.

[zawatska]

I'm so mad! Like I told everyone before, my grandma retired from family court here in NY where I'm from so she tells me what's going on for the most part... I called the court and asked them if my "dad" had turned in his financial affidavit because we knew he was kind of fighting that part of it... they courts said yes, he turned it in and he will be appearing by phone to our first court date (oct.8th). My grandma AND the court told me they will mail me a copy of his financial and I told them that I'm in the area so I'll pick it up... I go to pick it up and the lady at the desk said "we can't give you it until the results are in due to his privacy" I was like he has my ssn on the court papers which I think is waaay more private than how much someone makes a year. God I hate NYS

[JudyKayTee]

I'm so mad! Like I told everyone before, my grandma retired from family court here in NY where I'm from so she tells me what's going on for the most part... I called the court and asked them if my "dad" had turned in his financial affidavit because we knew he was kinda fighting that part of it... they courts said yes, he turned it in and he will be appearing by phone to our first court date (oct.8th). My grandma AND the court told me they will mail me a copy of his financial and I told them that I'm in the area so I'll pick it up...I go to pick it up and the lady at the desk said "we can't give you it until the results are in due to his privacy" I was like he has my ssn on the court papers which I think is waaay more private than how much someone makes a year. God I hate NYS

Family Courts vary from County to County - which admittedly is not fair - and once again it makes me very angry when people are told one thing and then actually get to the Court and the true story is something else. I've known people who have known Small Claims has adjourned a case when it has not and they suddenly are trying to set aside a Judgment. I get called to testify in cases, get to the Courthouse and discover the case has either been adjourned or settled. Frustrating.

I'm always cautioning people NOT to get "legal advice" from Court Clerks - they're not allowed to give it (although they do anyway) and it's not solid advice.

I'm so sorry it turned out this way - this seems to have been dragging on forever! Well, here we go - another week to wait!

[zawatska]

2 days until test time.