[givememychild]

I am about to file an order for change of custody in Saginaw county Michigan and in this order I also want to ask that my 21 month old daughter's last name be changed to mine since I had no opportunity to sign the birth certificate and my ex girlfriend doesn't want her to have my name. She is in some dream world where she wants our daughter to have her last name so it doesn't offend her current boyfriend. Does anyone know how I should plead this in my order for change of custody?

[dontknownuthin]

Clearly you need a court order for this which requires the intervention of an attorney. I think it will be important not to let the judge see you being negative about the child's mother in any way but rather as simply exerting your rights as a father. You can ask for the birth certificate to be changed to include you as well. Sometimes people don't realize that a birth certificate can be re-issued. I have an adopted child and when the adoption was finalized, a new birth certificate was issued showing me as the mother and my then husband as the father. It does not show anywhere that this was an adoption, a private matter. Certainly this must be possible if you exert your rights as a biological father.

I would also recommend that you seriously consider shared custody or just visitation unless your child is being abused or neglected. Removing a child from the mother is a very extreme step even if you are the father. Make sure it is not in anger or a selfish maneuver in any way. Your litmus test should be what is best for the child and you need to understand that your child has a right to love her mother whether you love her or even like her at all.

It would be hard to deny you visitation or shared custody but all out change of custody will be an uphill battle and will not likely be awarded unless she's an unfit mother. So, get a good lawyer, play nice and be respectful of your child's mother whether you like her or respect her or not (for your daughters sake), and have a realistic goal and expectation of what can be done.

As for the name change, that can be accomplished with the change in the birth certificate but will be a subjective matter for the judge to determine whether.

[givememychild]

Okay well you apparently didn't understand my question. I want to know how to put into words the request for her name change. The change of custody order I am more than capable of doing myself without the use of an attorney. I did my own visitatoin order. The issue here is the my ex is completely unwilling to compromise or even be civil. My child is constantly used as a tool to torment me. Can I just get an answer to my real question now. I do appreciate your input but I only want to be instructed in how I approach the name change in my change of custody order... Thanks