[High Max]

You guy's probably already know my story based on my other topics, how I lost my girlfriend of over a year because I messed things up. Well, it's been over a month since that fateful day. I've tried everything and anything to get her back, but this time she won't be coming back. The girl won't even budge. Luckily, I'm not coming to you all today with another crazy plot to try and steal her heart again. I need help and advice moving on.

Don't get me wrong, I may have seemed like I have been wallowing and weeping this past month, while there has been a lot of that, I have met and dated at least five other girls. There is one problem, I just cannot feel anything for them. Some were attractive, others not so much. Last night for example. I was on a little date with a girl, she's older than me and we used to have a bit of a spark. We were cuddled up and I wasn't acting right. She pressed me and asked me what was wrong. I said it was me, not her. I told her that every time I go on a date with a girl that I keep thinking about my ex. She got up and started crying, and left.

I am still in love with her I think. EVERY TIME I go out with another woman, I get depressed and very sad. I don't understand why. However, BEFORE the dates, I always am excited and ready to meet someone new, but partway into it I always get so depressed! I don't understand myself. Is this something that is common, or should I get some professional help?

[Romefalls19]

Well duh! You are not ready to be dating yet, take this time to heal or you are only going to delay the mourning process

[High Max]

I believe that to be true, I just fear that if I don't get over this girl that I am going to fall into a deep depression and lose myself, and I am trying my hardest to not get into that state.

[Romefalls19]

Trying to cover the pain with a new face isn't going to help at all. Take this time to mourn and cry, do anything you need to. It takes time

[busterite]

It has only been one month so I suggest you give yourself a break. You can't just replace your ex like that. Especially if you had deep feelings for her. You are clearly not over her yet and no one would expect you to be after a month so just take it easy.

I mean go out on dates if you want but don't expect for them to instantly replace your ex. They might actually be great girls but with the state your mind is at the moment you are not giving them a chance. And you end up thinking that you will never find someone like your ex again, which is true because we are all different, but you will find someone that will give you less sleepless nights and who you will suit you better. Just take it easy and give yourself the time get over this and stand on your own two feet.

[akez]

First recover from the depression, is the depression manageable? It sounds like you miss her, but perhaps you feel guilt for your treatment. You have to deal with your consequences. It's time to settle it once and for all... submerse(sp) yourself in activities like going to the gym, take a walk attend gatherings and events... something that will help you recover socially. Keep an active lifestyle and in contact with good friends.

[BlakeCory]

I don't understand myself. Is this something that is common, or should I get some professional help?

It is very common but that won't make it any easier to deal with will it? If you're able to talk to a professional you should do it. You could spend weeks, months, or years getting over a broken heart. Talking with a professional normally helps speed up the process.

I know the idea of “professional help” has a negative connotation but it shouldn’t. If you had broke your tooth you would go to a dentist. If you broke your arm you would go to a doctor. Don’t be afraid of getting the help you need.