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ANB428 · Aug 27, 2008, 01:28 PM

I know that there are so many people on here who are trying to keep their child's father out of the child's life. This is not my case. I left my daughter's father a little over three years ago and had to go to a domestic violence shelter to get away from him because he tried to kill me. When I was in the shelter I got a restraining order on him and it was for my daughter as well. I moved to another state to be around my family for support since I was all alone in the state I was in. I have not had any contact with my daughter's father since I left the state about 2 1/2 years ago. I have tried to have him served child support papers, but the state can't find him. I still have contact with some of his side of the family, just not him. I need to know what process I need to take to file for abandonment. I want to change my daughter's last name to my last name since she does not know him and I am sure won't know him until she wants to meet him when she can make the decision to or not, I will attempt to find him. He has not tried contacting me nor has he ever paid anything. His father was telling me about putting something in the newspaper and if he doesn't contact me or something then there is a process that I can take to file for abandonment. I need to know what that process is. I am not doing this to try to keep him from her, I would love for him to get off drugs and be a part of our daughter's life, but he is not at that point in his life yet. While he is living his life the way he wants I would like my daughter to have the same last name as me. Another question as well, if the process goes through will he be off the hook for paying child support? Any advice would help. Thanks.

stinawords · Aug 27, 2008, 01:36 PM

You can't just file abandonment. Abandonment is used as ground for something else like a divorce or TPR. The fact that he hasn't even been served support papers isn't going to help either because that means that he hasn't been ordered to pay anything. If your ultimate goal is to change the child's name contact your local clerks office and ask them what you need to have her name changed they will probably tell you to file a petition for a judge to allow it after a good faith search for the father. If you are wanting him to be involved then you don't want his rights terminated. What state are you in? I think I remember you saying Texas in another thread but not sure... but any case TX is one of the states that a TPR also ends support obligations.

stinawords · Aug 27, 2008, 01:38 PM

Can your two threads be merged? They deal with the same topic and having just looked at your other one again it appears that the fathers name isn't even on the because is that correct? If it isn't then you really can't do anything with abandonment because he isn't even the legal father. Please clear up these issues for me and you will get better responses.

ANB428 · Aug 27, 2008, 01:43 PM

I am not sure if he has been served or not, the last time I called the DA in California was over 1 1/2 years ago I know that he has been in and out of jail since then. (information came from his father) I have asked the office nad they told me that I had to get him to agree to change her last name, which I know he will not do. I asked him that when I left him. I am in Alabama. I don't want him to be involved and I am sure that he will not come find me. I just want to be able to let my daughter meet him one day when she asks about him. He would never go out of his way to see her because I asked him to leave us alone until he sobered up or until she wanted to contact him and so far he has.

ANB428 · Aug 27, 2008, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by stinawords

Can your two threads be merged? They deal with the same topic and having just looked at your other one again it appears that the fathers name isn't even on the bc is that correct? If it isn't then you really can't do anything with abandonment because he isn't even the legal father. Please clear up these issues for me and you will get better responses.

No, that is a totally different thing. I am pregnant right now and I wanted to know for future reference. My daughter that is here right now is from a different father. His name is on the birth certificate, he made sure of that when the paperwork was turned in at the hospital.