[manojkumarr888]

Hi All,

I knew a gal for over two years now...
Initially we used to work together, were quite good friends then... I somehow started liking her a lot and felt that at least she did not feel bad about me...
Then I quit the company, as I got a better opportunity outside my country.. so off I went...
But still, we had quite a good relationship on through mails, sometimes through calls or through chats... Though I never stated in explicit tones about my love, I used to care for her and try to be as much as of a help for her... whenever I could in, all possible ways...

Starting from small gifts, on special occasions like valentines day and her birthday, the last gift I gave was a gold necklace... And she accepted it with cheers and a smiling face... however for the gold necklace, she said that I should not have gone this expensive, and that a rose flower would also have been good enough...

Recently, she said that I had misunderstood, as she never had any such feelings for me... It is okay, I do understand that I may have my own shortcomings (am an average person by looks, bit overweight) and she may feel that I may not be a good person in that regard...

But she could have at least said that, when I gifted her an expensive gift... I have respect for her - but do feel, if she could have said earlier, maybe I would have been less hurt... Or maybe my mistake that I was never frank...

Just want to know from all friends here, What do you all feel? Not to hurt anyone, but maybe just to learn from this incident...

Thank you all so much for reading!

[starbuck8]

It seems to me what might have happened here, is she really liked you as a friend. She was happy when she got small gifts from her friend for special occasions, but I think maybe when the gifts became more expensive, she got the sense that your intentions in your relationship were far beyond just a friendship, and she didn't share those same feelings for you.

I agree she should have said something when you gave her the necklace, but maybe she just didn't know what to say, right when you had just given her such an expensive gift, and she thought it might hurt you more if she told you right then.

Why don't you just talk to her, and tell her that you got the feeling that since she had so happily accepted your gifts, that she returned the same feelings. I think if she is a good friend, she will return your necklace to you, and the two of you can go back to being just friends.

I have a friend myself, that I think is a wonderful guy! He helps me out when I need help, he has done many things for me, and I return the favour when I can. I had a feeling for a long time that his feelings for me were more than mine for him. It was really hard when I finally worked up the nerve to tell him, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. One day I thought to myself, you are hurting him more by not saying anything. This might just be the case with your friend. Try not to take it too hard. It just doesn't work out that way sometimes. :)

[chuff]

I think with the small gifts they were innocent and gave her attention which every woman likes. But when you went with the necklace, you were not at a level of the relationship... or really in a relationship for that matter that was worthy of that and that scared her. Without some kind of commitment a necklace comes off like too much to soon, or even in some ways stalking. What I mean by that is the relationship must be developed, and with that comes trust and understanding, but by giving her a necklace it seems like a replacement for trust and without the understanding of where you two are.

[talaniman]

You got carried away by impulse, action without communications.