[hiba]

:( Hiii…
I'm 19 years old and I met a 23 years old guy 10 months ago.. everything went smoothly and I felt I like him and I knew I felt the same way about me.. he told me he loves me, I don't know why but I hesitated and told him I wasn't ready..
I knew I did a mistake so I tried to make him feel that I love him…and I could feel that he still loves me.
3 months ago he moves out of the country to work in another country.. we continued talking on the net and sending messages.. but we didn’t have love talks much..
A few days ago I sent him a message saying that I feel stressed during my exams, so he called me and talked to me about it…
I sent him a message asking if he still loves me.. he answered no.. And that he feels bad about it.. I was shocked although I felt that it was my fault.. he said that he started trying to forget me since I rejected him the first time….
I love him with all my heart and I want him back.. he's so nice and a very good guy.. but I don’t know what to do, bearing in mind that there's no other girl in his life… please help me, I want to correct my mistake and make it up for him..
Thanks

[Krs]

If u really really love and want to make up for what you lost..
Go find him and express and explain how u feel about him. That's the best way, doing over message or online or on the phone is not the proper way..
That way will u know exactly where u stand.
Is he far away?

[fredg]

Hi, hiba,
I don't feel like you made any mistakes! Telling him you are not ready was the truth; and one should stick with what they feel.
I was 24, my fiance` was 19, when we got married. It lasted 7 yrs with 2 small boys, and ended in Divorce. After 3 yrs, remarried now for 29 years!
You were not sure about marriage, and although he said he was, he really wasn't. One does not "fall out of love" so fast! I doubt if he really, really loved you.
I know it's hard, but don't blame yourself. Pick yourself up, stop communicating with him, and eventually you will want to meet some new men.
Remember, SMILE, when you meet anyone. It shows you like yourself, and others will like you, too. I do wish you the best, and please try to move on. We all have things in life that happen in a way we don't want them to. The trick is in accepting it, and moving on.

[Chery]

All have given you very sound advice here. You are 19, and just starting in the 'adult world'. You should not have to 'adjust your mind' to accommodate others - and you did not feel strong emotions about this man in the first place. Now, that you don't have him near, you 'think' that you miss him and love him more - NOPE! This is just a typical feeling that all have when they are alone and think they made a mistake.

Take the advice - find yourself and what you really want - take your time and don't be in a hurry. Give other guys a chance, ones that are physically there for you and not just 'online'.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

[s_cianci]

It sounds like he's not very accessible right now, having moved out of the country and everything. It sounds like you've learned a valuable lesson from your mistake and maybe that's why he came into your life. Unfortunately I'm not sure that you can "get him back" at this point. He probably feels that you're too ambivalent about your feelings. How much longer does he plan on being out of the country? Maybe when he returns you can meet with him and let him know exactly how you feel. His response will cue you as to how much potential there is in this situation.

[valinors_sorrow]

I think more along the lines of Fred and Chery. Love is not like a light switch but has more enduring qualities than that. Nor can it be manufactured even when I wish it with all my heart. It is very important to tell the truth to others and you did that. Keep doing that. No matter what.

Consider this a dress rehearsal for you both, discover and learn whatever lesson is in it.

Here is one that comes to mind from my experiences: if and when you encounter the real thing... no mistake, no moving to another country, no anything else is very likely to get in the way of it - Love can be pretty relentless. And its not something you have to work that hard for nor can you mess it up quite that easily - Love is not exactly fragile although it makes us feel like we are.

Focus on being knowing yourself and loving your life. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Oddly enough good judgement often comes from bad experiences.

[talaniman]

I get the feeling you were being honest with yourself when you told him you were not ready. Instead of second guessing your choice and chasing ghosts move forward and just be yourself. The old feelings will pass and you will be able to relate to people who are here and now!:cool: ;)

[xxstephaniescourfieldxx]

Hi if I was you I would tell this guy how you feel and explain you love him and people make mistakes it's the only way. Its true what they say you don't realise what you have got till its gone.