[ms87]

I have been seeing this girl for year and a half.everything was going very well I mean really good.We never argued we never had a fight.I treated her like a lady did things for her and helped her out all the time at her house.Oh I might of well tell were not kids any more I'am 49 she's 47.We talked about the future together all kinds of things.that we were suppose to talk about at our age The sex is good.So hear it goes one day it just fell apart.We went camping for three days and had a wonderful time came back home and two day later went to the fair.Picked her up and she came down the stairs and I said WOW you look georgous tonight.We had fun at the fair and held hands thought out the night I spent the night there like I always did on the weekends.Everything was great. The next morning I get out of bed and go down stair and she said good morning honey.I gave her a kiss like we always did when we first see each other, She made breakfast and the coffee was on.It was a great start for the day.So I spend a couple of hours there and then said I had to go and get some things done around my place So we both left the house at the same time and again we kissed good-bye.She called me up just before supper and said that she was going over later.Like she did always,She walked in the door and looked at me and walked towards me and said"your not going to like what I have to tell you"I said "please don't"She said she needs more?OF WHAT I don't know.She says she has no feeling anymore.BUT SHE Must have had SOME THE NIGHT BEFORE.And she left the house. With very little explenasion.I have been heart broken and feel used ever since that day.She won't return my texts ,e-mails and I sent her flowers.It's been two weeks. NOW WHAT DO I DO I still love this girl

BROKEN HEARTED

[BrewCrew0981]

I feel your pain. It's hard when you love someone so much, but they just don't love you back. But you have to stay strong, for your own well being.

Let her go, as hard as that is to say and believe right now. I know you have obsession, fear, confusion, anger, sadness and a whole other bushel of emotions going on right now. You have to sit down and admit to yourself 3 things:

1) You can't make someone love you. They need to do it on their own.
2) You did nothing wrong, and it's not your fault. You just weren't compatible, in some way.
3) The only person that can hurt you now, is yourself. She is gone, she can't hurt you anymore. Only you can hurt you.

The sooner you can admit these things to yourself (it can and will take time, I know), you can start to heal yourself. Read up on the NC topics if you must.

Take care pal, I hope it all works out for the best.

[JBeaucaire]

Resist the urge to keep "timelining" what happened. Yes, you are right, she had been feeling this for a while and finally got up the nerve to admit it. That's all. It's that simple. Don't pull it apart any more than that.

She needs more? Of what? Painful as it is to hear, all she means is she needs someone else. That's all those words really mean. Don't pull it apart any more than that.

Honesty is a real bugger, isn't it. She does care about you, else she wouldn't have let things go on as long as she did. And she doesn't want to hurt you needlessly.

Unfortunately, your greater love and attachment to her will result in more pain unless you acknowledge this is over and STOP emailing and texting and pursuing her. She cares enough to not respond since that will only enflame you more.

Getting dumped, well, that's the ultimate let down. But in the end, you DO want to end up with someone who is actually as gaga about YOU as you are about them, right? Right!

So, deep breaths. It's going to be OK eventually. Make sure you KEEP your good memories of the times you had together, and don't make it into anything more (good or bad). Let the memories settle and be fond. You can do it.

You're going to love her forever. I've been married 23 years and still clearly and fully remember the first 3 women I loved in my life. It is a part of who you are, and it is OK. It will serve to make you better when you let it.

[talaniman]

Sorry for your loss, but if you look around you, there is plenty to do to regroup, and rebuild a life you enjoy, but just take the time, to let the shock wear off. It may be sudden, and out of the blue for you, but for her she has been considering this for a while. No contact with her at all, will help the healing process, and time, and you getting busy putting your life back together, will see you through. Good Luck!

[BetrayalBtCamp]

The others are right, you can't make her want to be with you & chasing her now is just going to be counter-productive & even more damaging to you.

Is there the possibility that she is interested or involved with someone else?

The best thing for you to do at this point is just to take the best care of yourself & go no contact with her, period. I know that's hard to do when you got blindsided like you did. Anything else like sending her flowers or begging her to return will only make things worse for you & prolong your agony.

And you may feel you need closure from her to get past it. The only true closure is what you give yourself, she's given you the closure that worked best for her... to tell you it's over & acting that way.

I'm sorry you are hurting.

[candace512]

I think that she must have realized you two weren't right for each other OR she was seeing someone else. That is too crazy and abrupt. Give it time contact her then find out what happened.