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    jelise2006's Avatar
    jelise2006 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 18, 2008, 02:42 PM
    Dating advise for my friend
    Ok. My best friend was dating this guy for 2 years. They recently broke up. She continues to text and call him... knowing every time she does.. she gets upset because he either doesn't respond at all to her text or calls... or when he does.. doesnt say what she wants to hear. I keep telling her to stop and move on. They have only been broke up for 3 weeks. Now... she has met a 20 yr old guy. Mind you... she is 35. I tell her he is too young... she says she just wants to have fun and hang out... however, they kiss. I told her I didn't think this was normal. I mean... what could she possibly have in common with a 20 yr old guy. So... should I tell her... No its not right for you to not only be seeing a 20 yr old... but.should I also advise her.. perpahs she needs to hold off on getting involved period at this point... its only been 3 weeks. She just acts like she has to have someone. Not only that... but her ex... is also younger than her... but 28. She says she doesn't know why she likes younger guys. I think its because it makes her feel impowered.. because she can't have an intellegent conversation with an older man... or even a man her age at that. What do you think? I think she is co-dependent... and sick for going for a 20 yr old guy... kid rather... when she is a 35 yr old woman... with a son that is 16 and a daughter 14. C'mon. Is it me... or is this just... wrong??
    brkfstatiffs's Avatar
    brkfstatiffs Posts: 263, Reputation: 21
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    #2

    Aug 18, 2008, 03:14 PM
    Yeah she obviously has some issues that you may not know about. 35 is first off way young to have a 16 and 14 year old, was she raped as a child to have kids that young? It's not my business but personally I think something happened to her when she was younger that makes her enjoy being with 20 year old men. Maybe it makes her feel like she has her young twenties back again since I'm sure much of that was spent raising her children. You can only do and say so much, just try to support her and do things with her to keep her mind off it. With all due respect, she sounds like the 20 year old by contacting him like... she should know better.
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
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    #3

    Aug 18, 2008, 03:20 PM
    Ok first off it's fine for friends to want the best for their friends. And to advise them on what's right and wrong, but it seems here that you're going too far.. she is an adult and can do what she wants with her life even if you think she's making a mistake..

    Just tell her what you think and leave it at that.. why are you so judgemental? And what does co-dependancy have to do with this?

    I understand what you're saying about her being a mother of a 16 year old and dating someone 4 years older, but honestly it's not your place to judge.. I'm sure I could look at your life and judge all the things you've done.. I feel like friends are soposed to be there for each other no matter how stupid they are being with their lives, just be there to support her, she's going through rough times.
    jelise2006's Avatar
    jelise2006 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Aug 18, 2008, 03:27 PM
    No.. she was married young and had her first when she was 16. He isn't even old enough to drink. She can't be alone.. has to have someone. Which... ok... I understand to a point... but I just can't undertand what a 35 yr old woman... would have in common with a 20 yr old guy... who just turned 20 at that. Still a teen rather. He isn't even old enough to drink... I asked her what it was... she just said.. he is fun. ANd I get that. I guess for me... when I date... I like to have intellegent conversation. Make sense?
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Aug 18, 2008, 04:10 PM
    Yeah it does, but it's not really your business, she tells you because you are her friend.. just stay out of it... and stop being so conceided

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