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Kellu25 · Aug 18, 2008, 12:31 PM

I want my ex-husband to sign rights off for my children, he hasn't seen them in over a year and hasn't paid a dime, but I have no way to contact him plus I doubt he'd do it willingly. Do I have to have a lawyer, any help would be appreciated. Thanks

N0help4u · Aug 18, 2008, 12:48 PM

You have to find somebody to adopt in his place...
But he would still have to be willing.

ScottGem · Aug 18, 2008, 12:52 PM

What do you think you will accomplish by doing this?

StaticFX · Aug 18, 2008, 12:55 PM

Yes, get a lawyer to at least give you the direction. You don't want to screw anything up in the process. They can tell you if you have a case and how to proceed.

stinawords · Aug 18, 2008, 01:07 PM

What state are you in? That makes a big difference. Also as scott asked what are you trying to accomplish by having his rights terminated? If you let us know then we can help you come up with solutions that are more likely to happen.

Kellu25 · Aug 18, 2008, 03:48 PM

Thank you everyone for your help, Im in New York state and I haven't really looked into it that much but right now I can't afford a lawyer. Why do I have to have some one else adopt them to take him off? I am re-married but that's not how I want to do this. I want to change it for a few reason, some I can't really say but mostly cause my kids don't even know there father especially my youngest, he doesn't have any memories of him, and I don't think that they should have his last name.

N0help4u · Aug 18, 2008, 03:52 PM

So do you want them to have your last name?

Kellu25 · Aug 18, 2008, 03:56 PM

I want them to have my maiden name!

ScottGem · Aug 18, 2008, 05:49 PM

There are hundreds of threads in this forum (including a sticky at the top of the forum) that discuss this issue. Courts are very reluctant to terminate a parent's rights (TPR), especially involuntarily. Nor are you likely to get their legal names changed without his agreement.

However, a person can use any name they want as long as there is no intent to defraud. So if you want the kids to go by your maiden name, you can do that, as long as you use the legal name where required.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 18, 2008, 06:43 PM

Yes, merely not paying support and not visiting is not grounds in most states to even ask for termination of rights. You need to be sure and go after the support though child support enforcement of your state.