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magrock · Aug 18, 2008, 09:33 AM

I will give u a quick scenario: my friends brother & I always had a crush on each other now that we are both newly single we started talking, flirting & became intimate 2x. We both care for each other but I told him I can not do the casual thing & he agreed. I notice now the contact we had went from everyday to once in awhile now. I am happy that he doesn't want to use me but I really like him & attracted to him. So I am becoming that girl who is obsessing why can't things work out- its all about timing! He does not want a relationship right now because he just got out of one but then we have this mutual attraction & now we got to be just friends... when I see him I want to kiss him... this sucks any advice/suggestions. I am going to let it be but just needed to vent... I am quite bothered by this today well maybe because I saw him yesterday@a party... :(

N0help4u · Aug 18, 2008, 09:41 AM

As long as you are going to let it be an occasional thing he will never take you as a serious relationship... just somebody for the convenience. Like why go in 7-11 unless you want something? So you need to tell him NO you realize you care for him more than an occasional fling so you would rather wait and he can let you know when and if he is ready for a real relationship with you.

magrock · Aug 18, 2008, 09:46 AM

no we both agreed that we don't want 2b each others booty call or friends w/benefits he already knows I do not want that... I am just saying its hard because we have this attraction for each other so we need self-control.. 2x when we hung out alone it lead to sex which is y its better we hang out in groups like yesterday...

N0help4u · Aug 18, 2008, 09:50 AM

Oh I thought you meant you would occasionally now.
Yeah continue hanging out and find a non pushy way to let him know you would be interested in a bf/gf relationship.

magrock · Aug 18, 2008, 09:53 AM

I can not handle the casual thing I like to be in a real relationship... that's what my title meant.. I am becoming that girl I really like always did but I can't force him to realize I am the one or could be...

What bothers me he would call/text me like everyday even after we had sex & now its much less... I wonder why he is backing away... I am obsessing over this but to myself... :(

N0help4u · Aug 18, 2008, 10:34 AM

Exactly so you did make the right decision if you ever want him to see you as a girlfriend someday hopefully. He is backing away because you are not his girlfriend. Right now all you can do is let him know if he is ever interested in a real bf/gf relationship you are interested.

magrock · Aug 18, 2008, 10:58 AM

Thanks for taking time & answering my threads :)

Choux · Aug 18, 2008, 12:32 PM

I think it is a good idea not to focus on what you can't have! Just get a grip, and find some fun and interesting things to do to take your mind off the situation.

You can do it. :)

magrock · Aug 18, 2008, 02:28 PM

Yes that's what I am doing... its so hard but I can do it :)