[Reignstarz]

I'll make it short seeing as everyone has long storys.

My ex girlfriend is 17 and we have a kid together. We split apart due to fighting(mutual abuse mentally and physically) and she currrently has my daughter.

I am trying to find a way to gain custody of my daughter. I heard that the baby has to stay with the mom for a set amount of months for some reason.

Her sister also has a kid(Her sister is 19) and I remember when she let her son go to her ex bfs he wouldn't give her back. IS that the case in Nh whoever has the kid at the time as custody unless they go to court.

My ex currently lives at her moms with no job.

Everyone says to prove she's an unfit mom and the baby is mine. Any tips lol?

Thanks.

[zawatska]

You have to take her to court for visitation, and then that would be your time to tell the judge that she is an unfit parent. But just because she has no job does not mean she is unfit to mother a child. Like you said, she is only 17 and still lives at home.

[Reignstarz]

Hmm why would I have to go to court for visitation if I pick her up and bring her to my house? Would it be vice versa if I had the kid?

[zawatska]

If you wanted her to have no rights or visitation at all then you would go to court and prove she's an unfit mother. Just being you're visiting your child, or she is, does not mean that you have full custody but if she has the child for the day or whenever, she is allowed to keep the child for however long she wants because she is the mother and its not kidnapping. That's why if you're broken up, you should take her to court to get visitation, so she doesn't disappear with your child.

[Reignstarz]

No no no I don't want to not allow her to see the kid heh. I want to know if I have the kid am I allowed to have the kid as long as I want like her. Also if we haven't gone to court she can run off with my kid? Can I do that?

[NowWhat]

You two need to sit down and talk about visitation. The child lives with her mother. You have visitation. It is obvious the courts have not gotten involved. So until they do, you should try to work out a visitation schedule with her.

If the child is in harms way - then you could petition the court for temporariy custody pending a custody hearing.

[cjonline]

All right, I agree with what the others are saying. Go to court and do this correctly.

That being said... You seem to be asking if it is OK to just take your child and run and start a new life in a different town/state so you can have your child with you all the time.

That is the wrong way to go. Yes you could do that and it wouldn't be kidnapping, per say, until she files paperwork with the courts and gets full custody and then calls the police and charges you. You won't know anything about it because you ran away. Since you won't be there to speak up the Judge will give her whatever she asks for.

Think about it please... How would you feel if she just took off and you never saw or had any hope to see your child again? That is how she would feel.

You guys are so young... don't start like this, do it the right way. You don't have to have an attorney, but I would get one and let them handle this for you.

[Reignstarz]

"That being said... You seem to be asking if it is ok to just take your child and run and start a new life in a different town/state so you can have your child with you all the time."

haha I never said I wanted to take my child and run away lol. That's cute though. Zaw said

"she is allowed to keep the child for however long she wants because she is the mother and its not kidnapping. That's why if you're broken up, you should take her to court to get visitation, so she doesn't disappear with your child."

My question was simply do I have the same rights as her? Am I currently allowed to have the kid as long as I want without it being kidnapping? If she calls the cops because I don't want to give the kid back and I want to have it longer could they take the kid if the environment I live in is safe?

I'm not running off with my child lol, So trust me when I say I am trying to find out if my rights are the same as hers.

Thank you!

[zawatska]

Yes, your rights are the same as hers even though the child lives with the mother. You guys have no court order saying which parent gets the kid when.

[Fr_Chuck]

The mother will get at least joint custody unless she is a threat to the child. But in basics you need to get as much custody or visitation as you can get.