[augustuw_2000]

I have a good friend who is 30. Mind u, I'm 5 yrs younger, and have not had much experience myself with women.
I have been friends with this girl for 12 yrs now, and I know the whole family and her siblings well.
I have also been trying to get her attention in liking me and trying to have a relationship with me for the past 6yrs. And now that she has given it some thought, and agreed to get into a relationship. She wants me to penetrate her for the first time!
The thing is I have no idea as what to expect. I have told her that in order for me not to hurt her, she would be on top, and go at her own pace. But in the back of mind, I just want to her like crazy, and spend the rest of my life with her.
I do love her, and all. She was my 2nd girl that I really fell in love with.
I have so much respect for her and so many feelings, that I don't know what I should do.
I would like to get some advice on what to expect and what I should not do to her.
She has picked the spa. I have to agree with that, as it will keep her moist, and I will not hurt her so much. I think.

But any advice or help would be really apreciated

[brownes88]

Hey there, well to be honest, I don't think the spa is a good idea, this may just be me personally but I tend to go dry always and it makes things that much harder to do. Water isn't like the usual discharge that is slippery, it will only cause more constriction but again I say that is only in my case, I don't know what it's like for other women. If your just gentle with her she should be fine, all us women have to go through a little bit of pain when we first have sex, it's natural and it's not that bad at all. Maybe you's should have a couple of glasses of wine first, obviously not too much but just to relax things a little. Anyway hope I helped a little!

[Choux]

I'm not sure I understand... you are going to have sex under water in a spa?? That is a bad idea. Water washes away natural lubrication... water is a drying agent to mucous membranes.

If you break her hymen, it hurts "a lot" for a few seconds... that's it. After that, the vulva and vagina just gets broken in.

I would suggest that you be on top so you can more easily force your penis in the small hymen protected hole, Get it over with. It hurts!

After it is broken, you can put your penis back in and rock her and kiss her. :)

[augustuw_2000]

So what would u guys then suggest?

[Synnen]

First, I'd suggest not using chat speak. That makes me assume, even if your age is posted somewhere else, that you are 15 years old and can't remember to use proper English.

Second---a first time should be romantic. At least, most women prefer it that way. Have a clean bedroom with clean sheets on the bed and flowers and candles all around. Soft music playing.

And LOTS of foreplay. Even if it takes hours of foreplay, let HER set the pace. Don't just jump from kissing to oral sex... take it slowly, and build the sexual tension.

It may or may not hurt. During sex, my first time was uncomfortable at first, and then it was great---but afterwards I was tender for a couple days. Every woman is different. I have friends who say it never hurt, and others that say it hurt so much they cried.

Your girl may or may not have a hymen. I think I broke my hymen when I was about 6, riding my bike.

[kp2171]

Just piling onto what others have already said...

Taking your time to sensitize her body allows her body to prepare to receive you. I'm a fan of saving as much stimulation as possible for as late as possible... meaning for me foreplay is much less about kissing her mouth, neck, chest, etc... for ex, I love to have my ears and neck bit at... but would rather my partner save this for later, to push me over the top. Likewise, she likes breast play later, but not early (when I'm first interested)...

So... simply tracing your hands over her bare skin, butterfly kisses over her body, lots of little things you can do.

As for the setting, its up to you... as I've said many times before, my partner is most responsive when she is relaxed mentally and physically, when she is assured of privacy... best case scenario for me is to draw a long, warm bath for her to relax her, maybe a glass of champagne... have the bedroom clean, neat, and warm enough to be naked but not uncomfortably hot. A soothing candle can be nice, but some people respond negatively to strong smells. And then a fair amount of time sensitizing her skin through slow, deliberate touch. Perhaps massage, perhaps just teasing skin on skin. One of the hardest things to learn was to go slower and to be more deliberate about touch... meaning not all over the place too fast. A good book on massage can easily teach you how to connect to your partner through simple, but planned, sensual touching.

As for the sex, if she's on top it will allow her more control, especially when compared to missionary, for ex, where the man benefits greatly from the in/out movement, but the woman might not get the cl!toral stimulation she desires.

Those who can lose themselves in the moment are able to use their biggest errogenous zone (their mind)... get into her mind before you take off her pants.

And have fun. If you aren't smiling and looking into her eyes, you are worrying too much. Let her know she should talk to you and be willing to talk to her.

[Ash123]

Congrats on making heads or tails of this posting...

[kp2171]

And the advice given is?

He likes a girl, neither is well experienced, they're going to have sex, he'd like to make it pleasurable. Its all there. A little choppy, but still.. all there.

Maybe english isn't his first language or he's sloppy when trying... its still a lot better than half the extreme text speak messages we get from teens.

[Ash123]

Well, August, I'd say that the bed is the place for you... if she likes you a lot she will already be moist. Talk a lot. Go slow... touch a lot... take your time. It's an adventure for both of you.

The other posters have added lots of ideas too.

[Xrayman]

Spa no. Bed yes. Lots of foreplay, then when she is ready...

[augustuw_2000]

Firstly, I am Polish (so English is my second language), and secondly, my age specified is my current age, along with my girls as well. And the above facts of us are true as well. And for the extra information, I have only had sexual intercourse with only 3 girls. So I have little if not, none experience as to how to treat a women, especially my girlfriend.

As for the advice, it is really interesting and helpful. I will take it seriously. For any advice given is better then none at all!

But I have an another question. And I have just found this out today from her. She will not allow me to ejaculate into her mouth, and she would not swallow. I understand that she had a bad experience when she was giving head to a different person. I do not want to force her into swallowing or anything, but it would be a good sensation for me to get it from her. If not, well then, it has to stay the way that it is.

But if possible, would I be able to change her mind about it?

[asking]

She already knows it's something you would like. If you are a kind and considerate lover and don't pressure her, she is more likely to want to please you back. I would put this out of your mind for a long time--months at least. Perhaps in time she will change her mind. Perhaps not. But you should not try to change her mind, and you certainly should not be thinking about that now. One thing at a time! There are other ways to make each other happy.

[kp2171]

She will not allow me to ejaculate into her mouth, and she would not swallow. I understand that she had a bad experience when she was giving head to a different person.

Finishing at her mouth isn't something you should push.

Its not uncommon to have some fetish that doesn't get fulfilled in bed, and you can either make it a mental block or you can accept it without feeling deprived.

Be grateful she's willing to perform oral, especially after a bad experience. Yes, it feels great for you... but its not like finishing at her hand feels bad. Its just not as intense as it could be.

If she changes her mind, its only going to come from having positive experiences with you... and trying to push her on this subject is a bad idea.

Don't try to script what's going to happen or lament what isn't likely to happen. relax and enjoy the experience.