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    magrock's Avatar
    magrock Posts: 70, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 11, 2008, 11:19 AM
    friends w/benefits not good starting to get attached (a little)
    I have posted before about my little dilemma... & most of the advice I got was very good... just a recap for the past month I have been "talking" to my good friends brother which we always liked each other & now we are both single so we started hanging out but as friends no real dates. Every time we see each other we hook-up & 2x we were intimate which I regreted it before but I am big girl who needs to take charge of her actions. He has told me that he is not ready for another relationship since his last one last was for 4yrs but I also broke up w/my ex 2 months (we had problems for months so it was over before then)...

    so here is the thing I am not ready to tell him I want something more serious because over the weekend I noticed I may not be ready either & part of me is still not over my ex. However since we have a strong attraction for each other I feel that I should back away but I feel he has recently backed away as well. He would call/text me everyday till this past Friday... over the w/e I I did not hear from him I know he went away w/his friends but now that he got me used to contacting me everyday for the past month I am expecting it. My heart tells me to just be friends & not expect anything calls, texts, going out w/him,etc... how come it seems he is pulling away all of sudden or is it just me overanalzing?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Aug 11, 2008, 11:47 AM
    Even though he would contact to you everyday, he not obligated to do so. I know might be used to it but don' expect him to contact everyday. Anyway, you stated he is away with friends so maybe he is having a good time and remember he's not committed to you and he could be pulling away too. What would you do if he told you tomorrow he met someone? I think in a way your too attach to him after you already know what you was getting into before hand. You stated you don't want a relationship with him anyway so what's the problem? Get over your ex should be your first mission.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 11, 2008, 12:10 PM
    but now that he got me used to contacting me everyday for the past month I am expecting it.
    Adjust your expectations down, and be more realistic as to what, and why, he does what he does.

    Yes your over thinking this way too much!
    magrock's Avatar
    magrock Posts: 70, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Aug 11, 2008, 12:12 PM
    liz28- I do like this guy don't get me wrong however I don't feel I should have the talk w/him because I may not be ready for something serious either. I am just saying that because we slept together so I don't want things to be awkward... yes your right he has not olbigation to me at all which is why I was surprised he would contact me everyday if he did not want anything serious...
    magrock's Avatar
    magrock Posts: 70, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Aug 11, 2008, 12:15 PM
    [QUOTE=talaniman]Adjust your expectations down, and be more realistic as to what, and why, he does what he does.

    Yes its true what you say I am going to lower my expectations w/him... what I don't understand is what you mean by be more realistic as to what & why he does what he does?

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