[couldusehelp11]

I am so embarrassed for having to admit I need help as I have always considered myself strong and fairly intelligent. Here goes. In Mar. of 2005, I met "mr. wonderful". AFter only knowing him for 8 months. And having a long distance rel. I left my life in one state and moved all to another state to be with him. To make a long story short, I now realize that he is extremely insecure and needs constant reassurance. I recently accepted a job where I travel and he is constantly accusing me of infidelity. Since I've known him, I let him snoop through my phone although voiced my displeasure at his lack of confidence in me, in us. I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He also dials me consecutively and many times will have 4 and 5 and 5 missed calls from him. 12 is his record. I get so angry and ask him to stop calling me. He won't quit. Very recently I woke up one morning and caught him snooping through my phone once again and I snapped. He snoops through my suitcase before and after I leave. He looks through my underwear drawer to see what's missing. It never ends. I am so tired of being treated like a criminal when I've done nothing to deserve it. We have lived together now for over three years. What are my rights as far as my personal property? I have started over in my life twice now. I know many will say it's only "stuff" but I worked hard for all of it and do not want to start from scratch once again. Please someone just tell me who I can call for help. I cannot afford a lawyer or counselor. I am at my wits end. Do I call the sherrif to see what my rights are? Please help.

[excon]

Hello could:

Your stuff is your stuff. Move out. Until you do, talk is cheap. As you're moving, if he won't let you have your stuff, the sheriff WILL come by to make sure you get it.

excon

[Romefalls19]

I'm not quite understanding what you are getting at here.

--If you're trying to leave the relationship, then the stuff you brought into the house, you leave with unless there is a written agreement stating otherwise(currently going through this with my girlfriend and her ex)

--If you're talking about stopping him from doing it in the house but still living there, you don't really have a leg to stand on legally. Other than locking the stuff up, nothing much can be done

[couldusehelp11]

Thank you both, excon and romefalls19. Your words help and not considered harsh. I appreciate your time with my situation. When I leave, after he's done begging me to stay and promising things will change, I know he will turn into an absolute jerk and do whatever he can to make my life as miserable as possible. It will be ugly and I need to prepare myself for a fight. He is not physically abusive, just mentally which I understand can be just as damaging.

[Romefalls19]

If he is mentalling abusive, it may be best to ask a police officer to be present while you are moving your things out of the house. It is a fairly common practice around my area, we can call the cops anytime a break up may be volatile and they will send out an officer to "watch" over things

[ScottGem]

Find yourself a new place to live without him knowing. Then hire a moving company and get your stuff out while he isn't home. Change your cell phone.

Then wait for him and tell him you are sorry it didn't work out, but you can't take his insecurity anymore. Here's the keys and have a nice life. Then get in your car and drive away.

[crazedandconfus]

Greetings Friend:

Here is the deal. This man has problems. I'm sure we've all seen over and over that this situation NEVER ends well. You need to obtain a restraining order and make sure it's enforced.

NO matter how much stuff you have invested - it's no good to you if he hides your body in the desert (or mountains, etc.). I know that sounds harsh - but you absolutely must get out of this abusive situation. I don't care if he's never lifted a hand toward you - he is emotionally terrorizing you. GET OUT - and if you can, go away for a while where he doesn't know where you are.

Again - stuff is stuff. I can't count the number of times I've had to rebuild - and hopefully this time you can do it with a person who values and trusts you. Remember, no matter how much you would change your life to live up to his warped sense of fidelity, that would always change because he would never be satisfied. He'll cut you off from your friends, family, and co-workers. He'll make sure that he's the only one you can rely on. It sounds like he's not there yet - and you need to end it before he is.

Good Luck.

[flossie]

I agree with ScottGem!