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Lollypops · Aug 8, 2008, 09:37 AM

Hi - not sure how to update the topic, so I created a new post... Sorry!

A little background:

He has been a friend for a while, hung out as friends, I got him through a difficult time, we parted on unfriendly terms because I was seeing someone else and he wanted me then. The only reason that we went our separate ways was because his now ex-girlfriend didn't want him to have any communication with any of his "girl" friends, especially ones that he had deep feeling for. The only reason that we are talking now a days, because after my breakup I contacted him. He was still with the girl so we only kept it brief conversation. I saw him about 1 1/2 ago, but again he is with her. Now, in May he contacted me (he is not with her any longer), asking me how things were going, at that time, my father was very ill and my focus was on that. He checked in periodically, but that was it. Anyway, it was me that said that we worked so close by that we should go to lunch. He said that with his work schedule - dinner would be better. We went out last Wednesday. It was so good to see him, we had fun and felt like we picked up were we left off. The next day, I emailed him telling him I had a good time and we so do it again. He resonded with "Thanks for coming out. It was good to see you and your parents. Yes. I enjoyed it too. Sometime again would be great." Well, I have not heard from him and feel that since he is the one coming off a relationship, its his move. Does this make sense and do you understand a little bit better as to why I want him to pursue me?

Today:

I sent out an email to friend that was 15% off for Barnes & Noble. Within that list was this guy who I refer to up above. Well, I got a "thank you" and he asked me how my week was going and let me know that his doctors appointment he had yesterday went really well (had health issues in the past). Asked me what was up for the weekend, and told me that he had family stuff going on this weekend along with yard work. Ask me what I was up to.

My response was brief.. I just said that my week was very busy and glad that he made out well with his help. That was it. I didn't say anything about what I was doing or not doing this weekend.

I just wonder had I not sent the coupon, would he even bother sending me an email. Was my email brief and did it seem unfriendly? What is your take on this guy?

N0help4u · Aug 9, 2008, 02:38 PM

Since neither one of you are in a relationship if you want to be more than a casual occasional catch up on things why don't you make the next move? What have you got to lose? He asked you what you were doing for the weekend maybe he was thinking about asking you out but wasn't sure how to take your briefness. Next time he asks say something like I was trying to think of something to do. It looks like I may be sitting home all weekend
Cause I can't think of anything. You need to not sound too brief and let him see the door is open.

Lollypops · Aug 9, 2008, 03:30 PM

But had I not emailed the coupon, I'm not sure I would have heard from it at all. So, I am assuming that if they like you and want to spend time with you, they'll call? I can't read him at all.

Oh, thanks for your post.

N0help4u · Aug 9, 2008, 03:36 PM

If you are interested then don't worry about if he would or would not have. There is nothing wrong with you keeping the door open. If he is not interested you will realize it sooner or later. As long as you are not stalking him it should not be a problem. Many good marriages and friendships were first pursued by the girl.

Lollypops · Aug 9, 2008, 06:16 PM

I understand what your saying, but after my brief email. He did not right back. I think that actions speak louder thand words, so if he was interested he would pursue me. Also, guys like a chase and if the time is right for him, he will make it happen. As much as I want this, I am afriad he doesn't and I should read between the lines.. I don't know, I'm so confused!

N0help4u · Aug 9, 2008, 06:29 PM

If you are not sure or feel uncomfortable maybe wait for a special occasion like his birthday, a holiday or something and send him an ecard and see if he replies. If he does and he says want to get together some time kind of put him on the spot by saying 'sure! When and where' then he will know you are interested. He may just be unsure of you and not want to feel rejection himself... who knows.

Lollypops · Aug 9, 2008, 06:33 PM

That's just it... who knows, but I know that I do not want to be rejected, but rather be pursued.. I just want everything :)