[FVF]

Hello, I'm 21 years old, female… and I can't figure out what is wrong with me. My main emotional distress is me and my boyfriends relationship… we have been together for 10 months and for the past 3 months I would say, have been hell! We fight alllll the time, and I will admit I cause the majority of them, but his attitude doesn't help AT ALL! We live together, actually I live with him and his parents… I love living there, it's a beautiful house in the hills.. but when we get in our little fights and he gets worked up or he's drunk, he has told me 2 times now, “get your s*it and leave” or “ get out of MY bed” and this really hurt me… also he has said things like “ remember where you come from” because I come from a divorced family …middle lower class… and he has both parents.. LOADED! But it just hurts to hear that from the person you love… another main problem is.. I am sooo jealous.. Sometimes I'm not, and I surprise myself that I don't get mad about some things… but then other things, I FREAK! I don't know I just feel like he doesn't want me anymore, or I'm not good enough, or pretty enough…. Or he is always saying things like, “your getting to skinny, get some meat on your bones…” and makes me think he wants something else, maybe someone a little chubbier that actually has curves… I'm like a stick! But I don't want to be, I have lost more weight lately then I ever have in my life… I used to be a healthy 130 no I'm 119… and I will admit, it looks kind of gross… but I cant... I eat and I eat… but nothing… I also feel that he would lie to me if it was to prevent an argument, and I can't be with a liar! I cant!

Everyone I know, seems to be worried about me, they thing I am majorly depressed.. and the suicidal thing.. I have done before, because of a bad relationship… probably 3 or 4 times…

Please if anyone knows of a prescription I can take to help my emotions, or a counselor, please please recommend me!


Thanks!

[N0help4u]

You need to work on yourself and how you handle things. If you are making him mad that he says hurtful things you need to change your approach or else pick your battles and leave a lot of it alone.
If it is him mainly that is the problem then maybe you should leave. But you do need to work on you and how you handle things. Be more positive and work on ways to get undepressed. For example, maybe you are relying too much on him for your happiness and your identity. Get out and get hobbies, take classes and work on yourself image.

If you are real depressed and suicidal it may be best to start by getting counseling and maybe reading some relationship and self help books.

[progunr]

You have to figure out how to love yourself, before you can be happy and healthy loving someone else.

I see some strong signs of co-dependency in your post, along with a fairly low self image.

I agree, you should seek some type of help, not sure what your options are.

There are sites for co-dependency, where you can interact with others who share some of your problems, that might be a good place to start.

[FVF]

Well thank you very much for the response, it really means a lot.

The scary thing is, I have heard this before... and for some reason I can't get over it... I have never seen a counselor, maybe that will be my next step!

Thanks again guys!

[twinkiedooter]

He sounds like he likes to lord it over you that "he took you in" and are now living in the lap of luxury. He has a person he can kick around all he wants and if that person doesn't like his way of dealing with the world, then that's tough luck. From his comments he sounds like when he tires of you he will just kick you to the curb. Living with a boy and his parents is not the best scenerio either. I would look for somewhere else to live and see him for what he really is when you two date when you live elsewhere. I'll bet he changes completely and either wants you back or could care less and never sees you again. You sound like you are a "convenience" for him to have living there in his bed and nothing more. Sorry. Flee now while you have a chance to do so. Seeking counseling and still living there is like banging your head against a wall to cure a headache. Won't work. Sorry. You are under wayyyy too much stress of constantly being told to leave or get out. That's enough stress to make you lose weight even if you stuff yourself with ice cream every day, all day. Trust me, it will only get worse before it ever gets better, if at all.