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Ithappenstoall · Aug 6, 2008, 12:04 AM

I honestly feel it is not the best thing to do, because you clearly not over her, and might be looking at a way to reconnect, therefore I would have to say no. And you don't have to spiteful, hell I am not even sure why you would that you are being. Remember you did nothing wrong, she is the one that left.

talaniman · Aug 6, 2008, 06:23 AM

How is it hurting you to ignore her birthday? How is that spiteful? Be honest, could you still be in shock, over this break up?

The truth is my friend, your still hoping to catch her attention, one more time.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 6, 2008, 07:41 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

How is it hurting you to ignore her birthday? How is that spiteful?? Be honest, could you still be in shock, over this break up??

The truth is my friend, your still hoping to catch her attention, one more time.

Absolutely, you don't have to do anything. She doesn't deserve any attention

Sammie66 · Aug 6, 2008, 09:27 AM

I know I'm not over it yet but I know I'm slowly getting there. What happened was a huge shock to the system. HUGE. I thought after years of being single and never finding anybody that interested me enough I had found "the one". And I got sucked in big time.

She seemed so smitten by me that I got carried away. I thought I had done it. I probably took my foot off the gas and before I knew it, she was gone.

I texted her "Happy Birthday". No reply. I really could do with a hug. At least I did the right thing.

Our whole relationship was spent being scared to take what we wanted. She was paranoid that I didn't love her and I was scared to just let go and commit. The second I did she was off with another guy.

I think this might take a long time to get over. I need to get out and meet new girls as quickly as possible or I might waste my time pining over her. I joined a dating site to see what there was. One girl sounded my type. I might pay the subscription and email her.

Romefalls19 · Aug 6, 2008, 09:35 AM

I don't think you did the right thing. She ended this relationship, you're still grasping at straws. Now you are back at square one of NC. What's done is done, back to the NC drawing board... Let's get serious this time!

Sammie66 · Aug 6, 2008, 09:38 AM

It's OK. Her not replying kind of gives me the sign I need.

I did the right thing by rising above it and being nice.

Maybe he was a rebound at the start, but he isn't now. I have no reason to contact her now anyway. Maybe Xmas she'll text me.

I just hope my feelings go soon. I'm the first one to admit that this has gone on too long. I'm obsessive and I can't help it. It's who I am. I had a similar situation with my high school crush. I was obsessed with her, then I began to dislike her and after university when our lives eventually crossed again, although I still had a tiny place for her in my heart, she didn't really do anything for me. I guess because we'd both changed and grown to be different people.

My only hope is to become a different person and grow out of loving her. Hopefully next time I meet her I'll realise that she's a different person - one that wouldn't satisfy me. Love is a horrible horrible thing when it goes wrong.

I guess I just put her in the bucket of girls I've ever had feelings for but don't see anymore. I really thought she was going to be the one I married.

Sammie66 · Aug 6, 2008, 04:04 PM

I've also decided that she dumped me because of something I did to her which upset her a lot and she forced herself to move on. It seems to make more sense that way. That's why it was out of the blue and why she couldn't hide her feelings when she saw me after. That's why she clearly wasn't over me at the time.

She said she hated the way I treated her and I think it all comes down to this one thing. In saying that, she was still ready to jump into another relationship for the right or wrong reasons.

I think she decided she couldn't turn back even when I told her I loved her.

He was a rebound - hence the extremely fast relationship. Now, I think she is over me and moved on. I guess if she really loved me then things would have worked out.

Life goes on...

Sammie66 · Aug 7, 2008, 12:42 AM

Back to analysing again. Great.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 7, 2008, 03:15 AM

These excuses she gave are probably ways to make herself feel better, at your misery. Do not look it what she said and how she had said. She broke it off she messed up, she has to be the one feeling the guilt (if she did care) but doesn't and you are still analying everything she is saying because you think this is somehow maybe your fault, it isn't. Do not fall for that. ONCE MORE she BROKE it off. My ex told me she still misses hang in out with me but didn't really do much about it. So the hell with that.

Sammie66 · Aug 7, 2008, 09:26 AM

You're right.

"I'm leaving something s**t for something good" is what she told me after we broke up. Something/someone, it's the same thing.

Back in the angry phase.

I'm beginning to hate her.

I just don't like my sister in law being her friend. Someone who I love and never want to fall out with is happy to be friends with someone who was HORRIBLE to me.

Recently two of our good friends fell out and my sister in law took sides then, but why doesn't she take my side now. I'm family. This whole thing is just killing me. My sister in law is happy for my ex's new relationship. They've been chatting on myspace. I can't avoid it - I'm only looking at my sister in laws and only because she sent me a message.

I'm so paranoid my sister in law is going to be best friends with her. I mean, that's what I wanted then, but now it's just torture. She only met her through me and she's now getting closer than when we were together.

I don't know who to turn to now. If my own family aren't on my side anymore then who is?

Any ideas? This is a girl who dumped me and told me that I was basically the scum of the earth and it's like everyone is on her side.

Am I being unreasonable?

talaniman · Aug 7, 2008, 01:58 PM

No, it only seems like everyone is on her side. You'll see things clearly as you heal, and the emotions aren't so fresh, and intense.

Sammie66 · Aug 7, 2008, 06:46 PM

Had another bad time today.

Up and down, up and down.

Sammie66 · Aug 7, 2008, 07:09 PM

I guess. I fell out with my sister in law because she seemed so happy for my ex in her new relationship.

I just make everyone unhappy.

talaniman · Aug 7, 2008, 07:16 PM

Especially yourself. And that's completely your choice.

hjpan · Aug 7, 2008, 07:18 PM

Go work out.

When you curl those dumbbells, think of the angry things..

I do that :O

Sammie66 · Aug 8, 2008, 02:01 AM

I can't wait for my holiday. I should've taken a longer trip.

I'm annoyed at myself more than anybody.

talaniman · Aug 8, 2008, 08:48 AM

Obviously not enough to change and adjust.

Sammie66 · Aug 10, 2008, 12:39 PM

Ho hum. She's the one missing out. I just got back from a good weekend away with friends.

I'm just pretending she doesn't exist anymore. She threw away a relationship with someone who loved her more than anything and someone who has so much in common with her it is scary.

And she's jumped into this relationship far too quickly whether it works out or not. I don't care anymore. I've taken the advice - I'm just thinking about me now. I've been on a dating website and I've had a few emails already. I'm going to enjoy myself trying to find someone else rather than worry about her. Maybe the next relationship will be too soon for me, but I'm not going to be as stupid as to commit myself too early. Anything I do will be done slowly and honestly.

Sammie66 · Aug 11, 2008, 12:03 PM

I realise that I blew it and she's better off without me. Onward to the next girl I guess.

I miss her so much.

You think her rebound/really fast relationship will last? I think it probably will.

I think I feel about my sister in law the same as my ex felt about me. I know she doesn't mean to hurt me but she has, and I just don't feel the same about her anymore - loss of trust. But it's different because I know I'll make up with my sister in law eventually. My ex just jumped for the next guy to show an interest.

I need to make up with my sister in law, but I really don't feel like it just now.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 11, 2008, 10:59 PM

You are putting yourself down and making it worse, do not do it. You say earlier I will pretend she does not exist anymore, why pretend, take her out of your life for good, THAT IS IT. You move on to say that you realise you blew it, why would you think that. She is the one that ended things not you, therefore she blew it. You had something with her and she took it away, her fault. Stop putting yourself down because it will only affect one person... you. I went through this and at one point you realize the hell with this and her, I am better than this and yes you are better. So what if you have to wait a while to find another girl, there is no shame in that.