[talaniman]

No! I think he is a rude, inconsiderate boor, with a big nasty mouth. (Young guy)

You can't connect the dots from rude to cheating!! That's your mind playing tricks on you. Deal with yourself, and reality, and don't worry about what you can't prove.

[NYWoman]

Thanks Guys, you are all such a big help. I really do appreciate it.

I like your way of putting things too, Tal LOL!!

[NYWoman]

Hi Everyone,

I apologize for not being on in a few weeks. I am still trying to save this relationship. I was talking with my boyfriend last night, and he has really been sweet, he hasn't been flirting or making his aweful comments in weeks, thank goodness. But, last night, we were talking, and I was feeling very emotional and insecure, and I did something really dumb, I admit. I asked him in all seriousness, does he find me as pretty as his ex wife? He said, point blank, 'my ex is prettier'. It devistated me, but I know it shouldn't, because I am the one who asked, and he is brutally honest, by nature. I cried, it really made me feel like sh*& about myself. He said that his honesty is causing me pain, and that he needs to think if he can continue the relationship. I always want him to be honest, I don't want him to change that. The fact that he was honest didn't upset me, it was the answer. But that is my problem. But now he said that he causes me pain with his honesty, and needs to think things over. Why is he being so 'altruistic'? Or is it his way of ending it, using this 'altruistic' type of attitude? But then given the way he's acted (his rude comments, etc), maybe he is genuinly altruistic? And now, because of his ex being prettier, I feel like I can never be beautiful in his eyes, even though he says I am beautiful. So now where do I stand? I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry this is so long winded...
Thanks everyone.

[starlite1]

Hi NYWoman,

I've been through a similar situation in my past. Communication is key, and it seems that you and your boyfriend need to communicate a little more. It seems that he is too has insecurities and perhaps the reason why he would make his ridiculous comments is no because he would cheat, but because he, in a insecure way, needs to make himself feel good about himself. Does this make sense?