[baby444ca]

I have been together with my husband for five years and have been married for one.
For the last two years we only have sex once a month if that.

I just don't want it... Im only 24 and he is 28 andwe have two kids together.
I know he is frustrated with it but he says that it doesn't matter.

What should I do?

Nothing has helped, I have even went to the doctor with no success

[Clough]

I would suggest that you seek out a counselor to work out your problems that you are having. If money might be an issue, then there are plenty of places that offer services on a sliding fee scale where you might not have to pay very much or nothing at all.

I'm not sure by what you mean when you say that "I just don't want it". It would be helpful to know what you mean by that.

I'm sure that others will be along to address your question.

Thanks!

[Synnen]

Wow.

There are so many things going on here, I don't even know where to start.

First, is your eldest child 2? Did this start when you became a mommy? Are you on birth control? Have you changed your lifestyle since becoming parents? By that, I mean are you now a stay-at-home mom?

Do you and your husband have "dates"? Is there a change in the money situation in your home?

Basically, what happened in the last 2 years to make you not want to have sex anymore? Something must have changed.

[hollylovesbrandon]

I have several of the same questions. The question itself is a little too vague. Try to be as detailed as possible so we can help you as best we can with your question.

Here is an example from my life I will give you. My husband and I have been together for 6 years. Married for almost 2. well, recently we haven't been having as much sex as usual (usual for us is about 2 times a week). Well, it all started when I got a new, demanding, quite tiresome job. Also, about that time we were having financial difficulties and we were both stressed over that. Well, I sat him down and talked to him about why we weren't having as much sex and we found out that these were the reasons. I was so tired from work, not only did I not want sex, I stopped trying to start it and wasn't feeling like getting sexy or being seductive. He was stressed out from the money problems we were having and just didn't want any either. Well now we wen't to a credit counselor and are currently in the process of fixing the money problems. And also, I got my days off switched to his so that we can spend time together when I'm not so tired from work. We are back to our usual schedule and may I say, sometimes a little bit more.

Basically what I am trying to say is that there are always underlying reasons. You just have to figure them out dear.

[Choux]

I think that this situation happens a lot between husband and wife with children.

Perhaps, you are burdened with too much drudgery? Maybe, you don't have enough mental stimulation in your life? And, your husband, too.

Get some activities into your life that don't involve children and your home. Bowling league, garden club... stuff like this to suit your fancy. Build a life rich in activities.

That may help both of you feel better and more positive about yourselves and your lives... be more loving toward each other as life's helpmates. :)

[smoothy]

Based on your numbers even if you had the kids right off you are looking at most two kids 5 years old or less. The stress from that unless they are the most calm well behaved kids in the world is great. More if they are boys.

Medically he might be fine.. but stress at work and stress at home might be combining to dampen the libido. Then toss in if he feels henpecked for any reason and you can have the makings of what you describe.

[Eileen2005]

Your marriage will last if you want it to last. From what you have written, I can see that you think you got into life so soon and maybe you think your life is ended having two kids and you might have negative thoughts and doubts about your life. Do you still love your husband honey? Do you feel that you are ignored and you are just wanted for sex and for doing the house chores and taking care of the babies? Are these thoughts keeping you from feeling sexy? Do you think that you might have been loved more by another man? Usually when women get into a relationship at a young age, they have doubts about it after a while. I wonder if this is the case with you and I say this because you said:"I am ONLY 24". Now, if what I think is true, I suggest you sit down and make a list of all the good things you know about your husband and another list of all your strengths. And when you are feeling down, read this list and remind yourself of the strengths you two have. No one is perfect and maybe you should be happy that you started a family at a young age because you have more energy to raise your kids. Think of it in a good way. Spend some time for yourself, if your husband is not a type of person who spoils you, spoil yourself by doing what you want. He sounds like a nice person. At list he does not force you to have sex although he wants it so much. I think he loves you. My guess is that he does not treat you the way you like and that makes you feel ignored. Honey, some times they do not know what to do. Just make the good things he does big and forget about the things he does not do. If he is not jobless, addicted, abusive and womanizer, he is among the best men. Most men are not romantic though. I think they take it for granted when they marry the woman they love and assume that they know they are loved! Take it easy... enjoy your youth and beauty and have more sex. I have heard many marriages have ended because of this. I do not want to say once a month is not enough. For some couples it is enough, but it should be enough for both. If you feel he is frustrated, do something about it. You have a nice family and you should be proud to have made a family so young. Your children will grow up fast and they are lucky to have a young and energetic mom. I hope I have helped.