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    akkuluvu's Avatar
    akkuluvu Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jul 31, 2008, 03:18 PM
    My husband is trobuling me
    Hi! Friends
    I'm in big troboule , my husband is addicted to alcohol and he don't want to accept the truth that he is actually addiacted.he use to drunk a lot and than abuse me at lest once a week, though he is drinking far past 8-9 yrs but his mother and my husband himself blame me for his habbit.I feels so helpless.what sud I do.how to handle him. Help me.
    I don't know any thing about al-anon, what is this ,how much fees is there.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Jul 31, 2008, 03:31 PM
    Here is a link. They do not have fees at least that I know of.

    You can not blame yourself, by blaming yourself you are making yourself co-dependent to HIS choices. You need to be the whole and strong one and not let his drinking make you feel down about yourself.

    Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
    Senior Member
    		  
    #3

    Jul 31, 2008, 03:38 PM
    Nohelp4u is right.. Al-anon can help you cope with his lifestyle and let you detach your feelings from his abusive behaviors.. it's NOT you'r fault that you're husband is an alcholohic.. al-anon lives by three basic truths... CCC.. you did not CAUSE your husbands alcoholism, You cannot CURE it, and you cannont CONTROL it.. go there, and you will find women who are in the same spot as you.. there is hope for you to be happy again.
    Tralyn's Avatar
    Tralyn Posts: 230, Reputation: 17
    Full Member
    		  
    #4

    Aug 4, 2008, 09:53 PM
    Addiction is often associated with a blame game. It is much easier to say that someone did something so that's what MADE you drink, or someone upset you so you HAD to drink. It's all part of passing the buck and not being able to take responsibility for one's own behavior - classic addictive behavior. You are not the reason for anyone else's choices, please understand that - and please love yourself.. take care of yourself.
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