[tm1015]

My mother moved to a new city with me over 10 years. She moved with me to help take care of my child as my husband had to stay behind to sell our home. Well, she's still here and after 2 weeks she found a job and hasn't been as much of a help as I anticipated. I really wanted her to ake sure she would be OK for retirement so we (my husband and I) allowed her to live rent free for the first 5 years as our rent was affordable. When we puchased a home we asked her for $400 per month (my energy bill is approx $350 per month) and she has her insurance on my policy which is an additional savings. My beef is that she earns more than my hasband and myself now and constantly complains because she feels that we should cook and clean for her as she works a ton of overtime. Whenever she's around no one wants to be bothered with her because we feel used and when I try to bring it up and let her know how we feel she yells and screams and threatens to move and we tell her it's best... but she doesn't leave. Am I being a witch towars her? It is causing somewhat of a strain on my marriage as she tells anyone who calls all of our business and we asked her to be discreet. Am I the only fool out there... she is my mom and I don't want to ruin our relationship totally but I feel she is out of line. HELP

[hjpan]

Tell her to move out of the house if she doesn't comply with your rules.

[SweetDee]

Your FIRST loyalty is w/ your husband.. as a married woman. She is ABSOLUTELY out of line. You're not being a witch. Don't think that you are. She seems to me to have out stayed her welcome. It was very sweet of you (and especially your husband!), to allow her to join you in your new home. It was also very sweet of HER to join you both and w/ the intention of helping you out, (even tho' she wasn't the help you expected... she doesn't really know that does she?). If she were easier to live with then perhaps it could work out that she remain, but she's disrespecting you about her inability to be discreet and she expects you to CLEAN for her?? Omg! You tried your best... and now this whole "living together" has run it's course... it's time that she make her threat a reality and MOVE! Sit her down one day/night w/ either a glass of wine in hand, or a cup of tea... and say something to this effect.. "Mom can we discuss your moving out?" You can own needing your own space to live w/ your man/husband, just you two without feeling bad about that. Be strong... and let her know how much you love her, but she needs to move. Eventually she'll "forgive" you... She may need to hold on to her anger for having been told to move out, for a while. Give her that... but don't let the door kick her on the backside when she leaves... Just make sure she GOES...