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ISneezeFunny · Jul 31, 2008, 06:00 PM

She asked if she's old enough to nurse... or if "you need to be a certain age to nurse"

N0help4u · Jul 31, 2008, 06:02 PM

Oh I missed that... yes you can nurse and it is good for both you and the baby

Synnen · Jul 31, 2008, 10:41 PM

/sigh

WHY is adoption not an option? If you don't know how you'll make ends meet, and need to finish high school, and have at least half of the families not being supportive--That sounds like a GREAT situation to put a child into.

Anyway... yes, there are options like WIC, and you may qualify for Section 8 housing. You need to get yourself into a local Planned Parenthood (or like organization) and start asking what local opportunities for hel you can get. Social Services is also a great place to find out your options for help.

Want to know how to make ends really meet though? Get rid of your cell phone. Get a land line with no long distance. Drop cable TV. Get rid of your internet connection. Dropping those three things, right there, in most places will save you over $100 a month.

Buy only store brand items unless you have a coupon to get brand names at a lower price than the store brand. Learn to cook creatively--noodles and rice go a LONG way, and meat is expensive. Nurse instead of using formula if you can. Buy cloth diapers. Get ALL of your household items (furniture, dishes, etc) at garage sales, thrift stores, or as hand me downs. Same for ALL clothing---you don't get to buy yourself anything new until you can afford to do so WITHOUT being on Welfare.

Get a part time job after school, if you can do it without dropping your grades. Expect to see less of your boyfriend because he made need to work a second job as well. Make sure that ONE of you gets insurance--expecting the taxpayers to pay for it all is ridiculous.

Learn to use your local library for entertainment, and forget buying new movies, video games, books, etc for a while--again, you shouldn't be buying "fun" things when you have to accept public assistance for the necessities.

Walk as many places as you can--getting an apartment near a grocery store is a great idea, because you can borrow the cart to walk home with and then bring it back, rather than spending extra money on gas. Living someplace close to where one of you works is also a good gas-saving idea.

Turn your heat down to the high 50s in the winter and put on a sweater. Open your windows in the summer.

Learn to like drinking water--it's a LOT cheaper than soda, and good for your body. Only wash your hair every other day instead of every day (unless, of course, you have a job that leaves it filthy). Use half the amount of laundry soap it says to use--your clothes still get quite clean, and you get twice as much out of the bottle of detergent.

Recycle. Some places will pay you to recycle certain items, like newspapers and aluminum cans. See if you can find one of those places in your area.

Pay cash for everything. If you can't pay cash for it, then you can't afford it. Save your credit cards (if you have them) for actual emergencies---like a fire burning down your apartment building, or having to rush the baby to the hospital, or your boyfriend losing his job.

Turn off your lights when you don't need them. Same for any other electrical device. Do your dishes by hand in the sink, with a sinkfull of water---you use less water and electricity than running your dishwasher.

If your family is willing to help with free child care while you are in school or working, GREAT! That's awesome. But---don't take advantage of it. Asking them to take the baby so you can go out with your friends should be a VERY rare thing--like once in several months--if you can't afford a sitter, then you really can't afford to go out.

Get your butt on birth control after the baby is born, and make sure your boyfriend is ALSO using condoms. The only sure way not to get pregnant again is abstinence, and the last thing you need is ANOTHER baby when you can barely afford the first. So... make sure you're taking the birth control correctly, or getting the shot when you're supposed to, or whatever.

My husband and I lived on this budget when we were flat on our butts broke. We didn't have kids, but we were living from hand to mouth for a long time while we paid off debt. Obviously, we didn't get WIC or anythign like that, but we learned to make money stretch a loooooong way.

girlygirl08 · Aug 1, 2008, 04:31 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

/sigh

WHY is adoption not an option? If you don't know how you'll make ends meet, and need to finish high school, and have at least half of the families not being supportive--That sounds like a GREAT situation to put a child into.

Anyway....yes, there are options like WIC, and you may qualify for Section 8 housing. You need to get yourself into a local Planned Parenthood (or like organization) and start asking what local opportunities for hel you can get. Social Services is also a great place to find out your options for help.

Want to know how to make ends really meet though? Get rid of your cell phone. Get a land line with no long distance. Drop cable TV. Get rid of your internet connection. Dropping those three things, right there, in most places will save you over $100 a month.

Buy only store brand items unless you have a coupon to get brand names at a lower price than the store brand. Learn to cook creatively--noodles and rice go a LONG way, and meat is expensive. Nurse instead of using formula if you can. Buy cloth diapers. Get ALL of your household items (furniture, dishes, etc) at garage sales, thrift stores, or as hand me downs. Same for ALL clothing---you don't get to buy yourself anything new until you can afford to do so WITHOUT being on Welfare.

Get a part time job after school, if you can do it without dropping your grades. Expect to see less of your boyfriend because he made need to work a second job as well. Make sure that ONE of you gets insurance--expecting the taxpayers to pay for it all is ridiculous.

Learn to use your local library for entertainment, and forget buying new movies, video games, books, etc for a while--again, you shouldn't be buying "fun" things when you have to accept public assistance for the necessities.

Walk as many places as you can--getting an apartment near a grocery store is a great idea, because you can borrow the cart to walk home with and then bring it back, rather than spending extra money on gas. Living someplace close to where one of you works is also a good gas-saving idea.

Turn your heat down to the high 50s in the winter and put on a sweater. Open your windows in the summer.

Learn to like drinking water--it's a LOT cheaper than soda, and good for your body. Only wash your hair every other day instead of every day (unless, of course, you have a job that leaves it filthy). Use half the amount of laundry soap it says to use--your clothes still get quite clean, and you get twice as much out of the bottle of detergent.

Recycle. Some places will pay you to recycle certain items, like newspapers and aluminum cans. See if you can find one of those places in your area.

Pay cash for everything. If you can't pay cash for it, then you can't afford it. Save your credit cards (if you have them) for actual emergencies---like a fire burning down your apartment building, or having to rush the baby to the hospital, or your boyfriend losing his job.

Turn off your lights when you don't need them. Same for any other electrical device. Do your dishes by hand in the sink, with a sinkfull of water---you use less water and electricity than running your dishwasher.

If your family is willing to help with free child care while you are in school or working, GREAT! that's awesome. But---don't take advantage of it. Asking them to take the baby so you can go out with your friends should be a VERY rare thing--like once in several months--if you can't afford a sitter, then you really can't afford to go out.

Get your butt on birth control after the baby is born, and make sure your boyfriend is ALSO using condoms. The only sure way not to get pregnant again is abstinence, and the last thing you need is ANOTHER baby when you can barely afford the first. So...make sure you're taking the birth control correctly, or getting the shot when you're supposed to, or whatever.

My husband and I lived on this budget when we were flat on our butts broke. We didn't have kids, but we were living from hand to mouth for a long time while we paid off debt. Obviously, we didn't get WIC or anythign like that, but we learned to make money stretch a loooooong way.

Thanks so much for the advice.. I choose not to adopt because I feel that I lhad the baby and its my duty to take care of my child. Also I live in Tn I can't open my windows as a source of air conditioning it get up to 100 degrees and is very humid. But seriously I do appreciate your other advice.

girlygirl08 · Aug 1, 2008, 04:35 AM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

she asked if she's old enough to nurse...or if "you need to be a certain age to nurse"

Well I just thought if everybody say that it's a good chance your baby would be unhealthy if you're a teen mother because your body its fully developed.. So I assumed something probably could be wrong with your breast milk...

N0help4u · Aug 1, 2008, 05:41 AM

If you breast feed make sure you keep taking pre natal vitamins. They probably say it is not good because what ever vitamin/mineral deficiencies you have the baby takes them all first and then you can end up with bad bones and teeth if the baby was taking the little you do have. I hope you ARE taking them regularly now too. Folic acid (a B vitamin in vitamins) is really important for a healthy baby. You should also try and take some form of essential fatty acid if possible too because that is really healthy for the baby.

I can understand your feeling it is your baby and your responsibility but be really careful at making sure you are financially stable before having more. I had 4 and then broke up with my ex. He never paid child support and I had to raise them on approx. average $1,200. A month and that INCLUDED my food stamps. It isn't easy but you can do it if you manage things well. Splurging for me was getting Kentucky Fried Chicken about once a year

girlygirl08 · Aug 1, 2008, 07:21 AM

OK.. Thanks. I'm going to start looking for a job now.. Maybe something in retail. I thought about fast food. But I don't think it would be good for me or the baby to be in all that heat and stress and constant standing and stuff like that.

N0help4u · Aug 1, 2008, 07:26 AM

Yeah don't go for fast food job while you are pregnant. I have heard they have to lift heavy boxes and it can be a strain.

girlygirl08 · Aug 1, 2008, 07:30 AM

OK

N0help4u · Aug 1, 2008, 02:36 PM

Oh I forgot to mention that if you do go apply for welfare just go for the food stamps and medical do not apply for cash. What they do if you apply for cash is make you go to child support and file for child support and then basically any money you are receiving is the child support. My daughter and other girls I know applied for cash assistance and they live with their boyfriend and that is what happened when they applied for cash assistance.
So instead of the money going from your bf's hands to your hands it goes through the state first.

girlygirl08 · Aug 1, 2008, 05:10 PM

Wow the state sure got some crazy ways for handling things.

ISneezeFunny · Aug 27, 2008, 09:45 AM

help089:

Please give useful answers when responding.

Pre-natal vitamins are actually VERY important, it's not rubbish, and they're not "not good for the baby"... it's to HELP the baby and the mother.

I really... can't comment on the rest of what you're saying, because... it's either common sense (don't lift any heavy boxes) or just plain... ridiculous (don't always think that breast feeding will save money).

And I don't really like to crap on people's parades... but even Anderson Cooper, one of the MOST well known journalist on CNN with his show, "Anderson Cooper 360"... makes about 2 mil a year, and has just RECENTLY got a new contract for 4 mil.

ketiab85 · Aug 27, 2008, 09:46 AM

Hi Sweetheart. Honestly I Was In Your Shoes Once And You Know What Being A Pregnant Teen Is A Big Resposibility. Its Good That You Are Going To School And Finishing Up Because You Are Doing Something Positive For Yourself, And You Know Without An Education There I Nothing Out Here. So Going To School And Finishing Isyour Main Responsibility For Now. After You Graduate You Can Find A Really Good Job. That's Where Finishing School Comes In To Play. But Please Don't Worry Because As Long As The Child's Father Is Around And Providing You Don't Have To Worry. But Keep Focusing On Your Baby And His/her Needs, Show Your Boyfriend That You Are Really Trying To Have A Job And Finish School. He Should Be Behind You 100%.

Remember If You Don't Finish School Then You Don't Make Money:)

ISneezeFunny · Aug 27, 2008, 10:16 AM

I have... no idea what you're saying right now. I'm absolutely positive that the babies weren't lost due to pre-natal vitamins... herb stuff, maybe. Actual... legitimate... pre-natal vitamins, probably not.

Again, I really don't enjoy crapping on others, but if you have 7 wonderful degrees, learn to spell and use proper grammar.

... oh, and I have no idea who Clive Anderson is. I was talking about Anderson Cooper.

ISneezeFunny · Aug 27, 2008, 10:17 AM

Ps - this post here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/manage...ml#post1236487

Says you're 14.

N0help4u · Aug 27, 2008, 04:41 PM

I have to agree with Isneeze about taking your prenatal vitamins and you should even take them before and after you are pregnant. A pregnant woman especially needs the folic acid, calcium and B vitamins.

ISneezeFunny · Aug 27, 2008, 05:17 PM

I think the post was deleted.

Worries2Much · Aug 28, 2008, 12:36 PM

Often in these situations (where there are young parents who are considered to be making the biggest mistake of their lives) at least one of the sides of the family will say and do hurtful things. Please do not let it bother you. In ten years, provided you and your boyfriend stay strong and fight for YOUR family, not the family on either side, they will have changed their tune. Probably even within five. If they do not, I would suggest keeping the child away from the negativity. No young child will recover from feeling so unwanted.