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girlygirl08 · Jul 31, 2008, 07:43 AM

I'm 17 years old and I been dating my boyfriend who is 19 for 3 years.. I thought we were being careful but I just found out that I'm 10 weeks pregnant. He is steping up to the responsibility we just got an apartment he has a job but I don't because I need to finish my senior year of high school. I am not sure how we will provide for our child. Adoption and abortion are not options. I am keeping my child. How can we make ends meat? Any suggestions or success stories?

hollylovesbrandon · Jul 31, 2008, 07:46 AM

Well, you can go on home schooling to finish your senior year (if you like that option). It will give you a lot more time to have a part-time job such as maybe take in some babysitting or work at a daycare. Not only do you make a little money, but you get some experience with children as well. Also, you can always go to school and work at night. It you have a special talent, such as sewing for example, take in peoples clothes and patch them up. There are a lot of ways to make a buck.

girlygirl08 · Jul 31, 2008, 07:55 AM

Hey I never thought of that thank you so much!

hollylovesbrandon · Jul 31, 2008, 11:49 AM

You are very welcome and good luck.

DoulaLC · Jul 31, 2008, 02:22 PM

Check with your school district... some will have programs for pregnant teens who need to finish school. I know where I live the girls are provided with buses to and from school and help with childcare for when they are attending classes. Since you have a year to go, the childcare idea may work, but check with what is required where you live. Many childcare centers require at least a minimum of some childcare type classes to work there. Depending on what your boyfriend is able to do, he may need to take on two jobs as well at least to get some money put away.

babygirl1092 · Jul 31, 2008, 02:50 PM

I was in a similar situation, when I was 16 and I had my first baby, we had 1 baby my bfs (which isn't mine) then we found out I was pregnant and she wasn't my bfs she was my exs, my boyfriend stepped up to the plate and took care of her and me and his son, we struggled a lot, and it was very hard but now we are on our feet and we are getting ready to have twins and we are welcoming our twin girls into our new house (that we own now) and we made it so I do believe that you can do it if I did it at 16, and I am now standing proudly on my feet.

keoghgirl · Jul 31, 2008, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by girlygirl08

I'm 17 years old and i been dating my boyfriend who is 19 for 3 years.. I thought we were being careful but i just found out that i'm 10 weeks pregnant. He is steping up to the responsibility we just got an apartment he has a job but i don't because i need to finish my senior year of high school. i am not sure how we will provide for our child. Adoption and abortion are not options. I am keeping my child. How can we make ends meat? any suggestions or success stories??

PRAY PRAY PRAY! Being a mom is the hardest but most rewarding job you will ever have! When I got pregnant with my son I had nothing I led a VERY un-healthy lifestyle I had nothing... Here is what I did... I went and lived with my parents which was hard, then I got a job in a nursing home (that was horrible) and they paid for me to get my C.N.A. and I worked nights (which actually paid $1.50/hr more than days) I started stocking up on diapers. In your case you could probably find something similar for weekends. Another thing I strongly recommend is breast feeding that will save you allot of money and messes! Also after I had my son I had a copper t iud fitted to make sure that I didn't get pregnant again until I was ready... there are allot of things you can do but mostly remember that the baby is a blessing from god NOT a burden!

girlygirl08 · Jul 31, 2008, 04:05 PM

So I'm not too young to nurse?

tolerance · Jul 31, 2008, 04:08 PM

I agree with DoulaLc, they have mother and child schools for teenagers but most require the baby to be at least 3 months old and some have a waiting list for daycare. Start looking into now. Also, some colleges offer childcare too, so look into things as well.

tolerance · Jul 31, 2008, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by girlygirl08

so i'm not too young to nurse?

No, are you taking your prenatal vitamins, iron pills, and eating right?

girlygirl08 · Jul 31, 2008, 04:19 PM

Yes

tolerance · Jul 31, 2008, 04:28 PM

Then yes, after birth and while your in the hospital a nurse can give you tips on how to do it because a nurse shown me how after I gave birth. Also, when you apply for WIC they show you to and you can still get it if you decide to breast feed.

J_9 · Jul 31, 2008, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by girlygirl08

so i'm not too young to nurse?

You are never too young to breast feed.

girlygirl08 · Jul 31, 2008, 04:39 PM

Oh

girlygirl08 · Jul 31, 2008, 04:53 PM

Is breast feeding as painful as everybody say it is?

tolerance · Jul 31, 2008, 05:17 PM

For some women it's painful at first and for some it's not. The baby's latch is so important. Mine would latch on OK then slip down and start chewing on just the nipple and yes it was painful for a while. The first month or two you are both learning but once you get past that it's so worth it. I have to admit I actually hated it the first and if I didn't have good support I would have given up. I waited too long to get help. If your hospital offers a lactation consultant led support group go to the first meeting available whether you need help at the time or not or your WIC office might offe classes as well.

My best tips:
Don't be afraid to go topless the first two weeks at home.Use lanolin often.Hot showers feel great.Invest in soothies nursing pads, one set should do it. Hold off on introducing a pacifer for a week or two to avoid nipple confusion.Sleep when the baby sleeps, I know everyone says it but it's so true. You take care of the baby and don't gets to keep up with the house or you can just let it go until things get better. This is a good rule no matter how you choose to feed. The demand of breastfeeding alone can be overwhelming but very important.

girlygirl08 · Jul 31, 2008, 05:28 PM

OK

ang8318 · Jul 31, 2008, 06:09 PM

As far as breastfeeding goes, just do not give up, I had a very hard time with breastfeeding, my son latched on great, but my supply was lacking, and at the time it was easier to give him formula, so I quit breastfeeding. Now I wish I never would have, formula is very expensive and has caused my son severe constipation at times. As far as everything else goes, make sure you finish high school, you are almost done, and as suggested above, start stocking up on things you will need NOW. I did it, and it made the first 3 months so easy, I did not have to buy diapers, wipes, clothes... etc. You are concerned about making ends meet... do not be... you will find a way. I wanted so badly to be a stay at home mom, but my salary matched my husbands, and we just bought a new house with a high mortgage. After sitting down and calculating what we needed and excluded the things we just wanted, we found out that we could do it. Spend the time and figure out what your needs are vs. your wants, you will find a way to make it work. Good luck to you, and I hope everything goes well for you.

girlygirl08 · Aug 1, 2008, 04:38 AM

Originally Posted by ang8318

As far as breastfeeding goes, just do not give up, I had a very hard time with breastfeeding, my son latched on great, but my supply was lacking, and at the time it was easier to give him formula, so I quit breastfeeding. Now I wish I never would have, formula is very expensive and has caused my son severe constipation at times. As far as everything else goes, make sure you finish high school, you are almost done, and as suggested above, start stocking up on things you will need NOW. I did it, and it made the first 3 months so easy, I did not have to buy diapers, wipes, clothes...etc. You are concerned about making ends meet...do not be...you will find a way. I wanted so badly to be a stay at home mom, but my salary matched my husbands, and we just bought a new house with a high mortgage. After sitting down and calculating what we needed and excluded the things we just wanted, we found out that we could do it. Spend the time and figure out what your needs are vs. your wants, you will find a way to make it work. Good luck to you, and I hope everything goes well for you.

Thank youso much! You have given me some hope..

ibuskids · Aug 1, 2008, 05:30 AM

My daughter was in the same situation you are in. She had her baby two months into her junior year of HS. Check with your school district, because ours has a program called "homebound" where they sent a tutor ( it was her science teacher ) to our house every day for a couple of hours. She was able to keep up with her work and then went back to school when her son was 6 weeks old. Luckily, I have a job that allows me to have him with me ( I drive a school bus ) so daycare isn't an issue. But, check with your local social services department, because they might have a program to help pay for childcare. If you aren't living with your parents, I HIGHLY recommend that you move back in with them. You will need the financial support ( roof over your head, etc ) and the emotional support. Someone mentioned getting a job at a daycare and that is a great idea. My daughter works at a daycare after school, and while she's not making big bucks she has enough money to buy diapers, etc. She chose not to breastfeed, because of the lack of support in that area at her school ( no where to pump and no where to store the breastmilk ) so she checked with her local WIC office ( Women, infant, children ) and they supply her with all of the formula and baby cereal. You can have your child on WIC until they are 5 years old, and it will help with milk, eggs, cheese, cereal, peanut butter, etc. There is a 1-800 number for WIC that will direct you to your local office. If you can't find it, let me know and I'll get it from my daughter. I'm glad to hear your boyfriend if stepping up. My daughter's boyfriend took off two weeks after her son was born. We haven't heard from him since. You are in a tough situation, but you will get through this. This baby will be a blessing in your life. ((((HUGS))))