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EasyDoesIt · Jul 30, 2008, 08:47 PM

Yeah, I understand... we'll see if she keeps her end up.
I guess texting her that message made her think a little bit... But when she says "If nothing comes up" It's like she still wants me to keep me guessing...
Is that just a mind game she's tryna play?

angel0772001 · Jul 30, 2008, 08:49 PM

To be honest yeah I think so. Well if she doesn't do something then you should worry about it.

EasyDoesIt · Jul 30, 2008, 09:00 PM

Yeah, so should I just wait for her to contact me Sunday?
NC until she makes the effort to hang out on right?

angel0772001 · Jul 30, 2008, 09:05 PM

Sounds like a plan to me.

EasyDoesIt · Jul 30, 2008, 09:29 PM

LOL! Okay! So Get This! I am SOOO confused! She just txt me again saying "Well I know its late n u don't want 2 say anything 2 me. But goodnite".
What the hell?

angel0772001 · Jul 30, 2008, 10:00 PM

Haha she is confused. Trust me she really is. I know exactly what she is going through. Hmmm... Maybe she is on her monthly friend and is very emotional and that's why she sent you that message. Did you reply to her at least?

Romefalls19 · Jul 31, 2008, 05:07 AM

I sure hope he didn't reply to her. Don't give her the satisfcation of knowing you are pining over her man!

talaniman · Jul 31, 2008, 05:52 AM

She said "I'll probably see you Sunday if nothing comes up"

She is reacting to your not contacting her. She may be ready for a serious conversation, have it. You may not resolve a darn thing, but talking face to face is what I would do at this point. Pay attention, and listen carefully, and not just talk, but listen.

Leave your heart at home, as I see this as a chance to express yourselves, more than getting a solution to your issues.

angel0772001 · Jul 31, 2008, 06:04 AM

I very much so agree with Talaniman. Come on that's a relationship expert.

EasyDoesIt · Jul 31, 2008, 07:37 AM

I didn't respond back. She knows how I feel and knows I want to see her.
I'm just going to see if she puts an effort in seeing me Sunday.
Did I make the right choice with NC?

EasyDoesIt · Jul 31, 2008, 07:40 AM

Talan, your advice is correct. We prob will talk, but we already had a serious, face to face conversation last Sunday for about an hour. I listened to her and she listened to me, and yes she is very confused. I just don't think its fair that when I use to txt her just to say hi she would ignore me, now she's txting me and says " I know you dont want to say anything to me". That's just not fair.

Romefalls19 · Jul 31, 2008, 07:46 AM

It's not fair man, you need to decide what you want to stand for

EasyDoesIt · Jul 31, 2008, 07:48 AM

Yeah, so you think I'm making the right choice with NC and letting her put some effort into it?

angel0772001 · Jul 31, 2008, 07:56 AM

Its good to not contact her and let her do some of it. But if you want to work things out then you have to put the effort in too. It seems like she really does care and she just isn't sure what to do.

Im sorry but the way I see it romefalls19 is just wanting man power and for you to give up on your girlfriend. And just move on. If he wanted to move on he wouldn't have came to us for advice. He wants to work things out with her. Don't give him advice that could possibly cost his relationship with his girlfriend.

EasyDoesIt · Jul 31, 2008, 08:00 AM

I am def. putting in the effort. Since our break I would text her 2-3 times a week just to say I miss you and thinking of you. I was the one that wanted to talk last week.
I told her how I felt, what I did wrong, told her I realized I didn't show you enough affection and that I will do a lot better. She didn't give me anything back until now.
If Sunday is a go I will show her a great time. I feel it's a good idea for her to contact me now about getting together Sunday because I told her to let me know when she wants to see me, she's the one that needs her space... So do you think that's a good idea to let her contact when she wants to see me?

talaniman · Jul 31, 2008, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by EasyDoesIt

Yeah, so you think im making the right choice with NC and letting her put some effort into it?

If you want to heal after giving up on her, NC is the way to go. If your trying to repair a shaky relationship with NC, your headed for disaster. You will never build the bonds of communications going this route.

You need to make up your mind how far you invest yourself, and if she is worth it, and stop playing these control games.

Either work together, in an honest caring way, to solve your issues to the benefit of you both, or leave each other alone.

talaniman · Jul 31, 2008, 08:16 AM

I told her how I felt, what I did wrong, told her I realized I didn't show you enough affection and that I will do alot better. She didn't give me anything back until now.

You expect her to take your word for it, and she is waiting to see if you mean what you say, and have action behind your words.

No way does she go back to doing what she was doing until you have prove its not a waste of her time.

Is she worth it? Or is your ego in the way?

Ash123 · Jul 31, 2008, 08:28 AM

I have to admit I am a bit confused here.

Perhaps a bit more info on how this break up came to pass.

Either she is insecure and wants to be sure of your commitment or just wants space to breathe and think. I am reading two messages here and am not sure what is exactly going on here. Also, how old are you two?

angel0772001 · Jul 31, 2008, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You expect her to take your word for it, and she is waiting to see if you mean what you say, and have action behind your words.

No way does she go back to doing what she was doing until you have prove its not a waste of her time.

Is she worth it?? Or is your ego in the way??

I completely agree.

EasyDoesIt · Jul 31, 2008, 09:01 AM

I am 25, She is 23.
The break came about because we started arguing about things A lot. She said I wasn't showing her enough affection and I felt she wanted to do things with her girlfriends rather than me. I honestly can say we were both right. We both have things to work on. I admitted them and asked for a chance to prove it to her. I guess I will get my chance this Sunday. We have been on a break now for 3 weeks and only saw each other once, I was the one that always txt'd her 2-3 a week just to see how she was doing and say hi and that I miss her. I never got anything back. Now she seems to be responding more.

Talan: when you said "You expect her to take your word for it, and she is waiting to see if you mean what you say, and have action behind your words
I don't expect her to take my word for it. Every time I told her that I would say "Let me proove it to you" "Let me take you out soon" "Let me show you how I'll be different"
And she would say... "When I'm ready" I guess she's ready now.
So should I text her back or should I just wait for her to contact me about Sunday?
Because I just don't want to bother her when she needs her space...
For instance when I would text her 2-3days she wouldn't reply. But when I do NC. She writes me and tries to make me feel guilty by saying "Well, I know its late and you don't want say anything to me But goodnite.
My whole point is... I feel when I try and make an effort she shuts down and pushes away... but when I do NC she contacts me and makes me feel guilty