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CheekyChop20 · Jul 29, 2008, 06:21 AM

My 3 year relationship ended about 4 months ago. I was reluctant about getting back into the dating game but it happened & I am now in an open relationship with a girl that I've known for about a year. Im normally a jealous type of guy when it comes to girlfriends but knowing that my girl is seeing other people does not bother me one bit.. which leads me to think that I don't really care about this girl? I guess I'm comparing how I felt about my ex to this girl and believe me there is no comparison. I've never been in an open relationship before and I can't say that I really understand them.

Can you truly care for someone and be happy about them seeing other people?
Should an open relationship have the same emotional obligations as an exclusive relationship?

N0help4u · Jul 29, 2008, 06:34 AM

If there is no comparison meaning that your ex has your heart more than this girl and you are not bothered by this girl's wanting an open relationship then it does sound to me like you are settling for less. You may still be in rebound mode and really should give it more time then find a girl that really wins your heart.

An open relationship really can not have the same emotional obligations as an exclusive relationship because you would have to accept the fact that your heart would be broken in ways that an exclusive relationship would not survive.

CheekyChop20 · Jul 29, 2008, 06:47 AM

So its pretty much the same thing as friends with benefits right?

N0help4u · Jul 29, 2008, 06:54 AM

Yeah and they have all the benefits from you and whoever.
You might think it is fine now but later (long term) when you want to get serious and she still wants her lifestyle you very likely will end up feeling like you wasted valuable time on something that is going nowhere.

Andrew916 · Jul 29, 2008, 06:58 AM

No help is absolutely right. Besides ifyou do decide to get serious (which I doubt you will by the sound of it), you'll look back on this and just get upset that she was with all of these people while you two were together. I'd save myself the heartache and wait for another.

CheekyChop20 · Jul 29, 2008, 07:05 AM

The thing is I got involved knowing that my heart would never be put on the line with regards to her. This isn't really her lifestyle she wanted to be exclusive I told her I couldn't so we agreed on an open relationship.. maybe I was being unfair I'm not sure. All I know is I can't make myself vulnerable and I am enjoying the fact that there are no real expectations from either end.

N0help4u · Jul 29, 2008, 07:08 AM

When uncertain the best thing to do is not get involved in a sexual relationship that you know is going no where. Put your focus and energy in finding somebody you do want exclusive.

Andrew916 · Jul 29, 2008, 07:12 AM

In the end you'll get more satisfaction and experience from an exclusive relationship.

Romefalls19 · Jul 29, 2008, 07:14 AM

Yep, there is no better feeling than the warmth from a committed relationship between two people who are equally out for the same type of connection

abbymimi · Jul 29, 2008, 07:17 AM

Don't worry about it! Enjoy this while you can. No need to get serious with anyone too early. Dating different people will point you into the direction of the perfect mate.

MsMewiththat · Jul 29, 2008, 07:18 AM

I agree with what the good people are all telling you and I would like to add that it is very possible that you could do irreversible damage in the sense that you begin to have issues with trust. Secondly, it might appear to help in the process of getting over the one you lost to have someone else around to fill your time, but the pain will still be there when all is said and done. Take time out to deal with your emotions and rebuild your strength. The right one will come along. Be Safe!

CheekyChop20 · Jul 29, 2008, 07:32 AM

Thanks for the advice guys. Its back to ME time :)