[packer04]

Well I finally rid myself of all the jerks I had been attracting(started going out more,classes,working out,volunteering,etc) Have been concentrating on myself and not looking for anyone and a really nice guy called me(met him while at a class with the sheriffs department) He is funny,smart,responsible,caring,just a great guy(no addictions)has his head on straight. Well he came to seee me 8 weeks ago, we have gone out to dinner 1-2 times per week, he calls everyday(I work weekends and he doesn't but he can take time off and he doesn't mind my schedule) We have much in common-we found out-both 49,divorced no kids, like the same things enjoyeach other and we like each other and we both want long term and to get married again someday. But he told me the other nite-he likes my company,talking to me, but he is still in love with a woman that left him 4 months ago, and she is all he thinks of everyday, but that I have everything he would want in a woman, but his heart is still with her. So for now he wants this casual, and that all he can give me is friendship right now. He really is in pain, I see it and hear it, but I truly like him and I just don't know. He said on his list of pros, I have it all and cons-he is still in love with another so he asked me if we could still see and talk(I said yes) But what bothers me is he prays to God everyday that she is back with him and if he could have anything it would be her. That hurts and I told him and he is sorry for hurting me, but he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he is not. My counselor says hang in there and give him time, he will get over her, but I don't know. Be patient with him should I??

[KissMe10der]

Yes, if you both enjoy the company. And you both understand each other. Take it slow. Give it time, if its meant to be.. it will happen. You don't want a relationship with a man who is still healing anyway.. that would be kind of bad on your part. It would confuse him, and not allow him to figure out what's going on with all the emotions swirling all around inside of him. He can't have a healthy relationship, or give you all the wonderful things you need right now. And you deserve a healthy relationship. Everyone does, so do yourself a favor. Let him heal and straighten out his feelings, before you move forward with him. But please.. don't pressure him.

[talaniman]

Don't be a rebound, as he is not ready for a relationship at this time, and will need plenty of time to get over the death of his previous relationship, so continue with your life, nothing wrong with friendship, but don't get attached to him, at this time. Keep your options open, and be honest with him about it, even if it means less contact.

[Kevin_s]

This guy is still hung up on his Ex, if you think he's worth the risk to have this "good guy" then just stay between the friend/more than friend zone.

He has some issues he's going through still, must be having a really hard time too. I commend that he was honest with you though, that must be more relieving then starting to date and then finding out he wants to be with his wife still right?