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DreamOn85 · Jul 27, 2008, 12:54 AM

Hello, I just started dating after recently divorced and Im making mistakes. There's this guy I started seeing and really like him. But when he had to cancel a date one time, I kind of had a little hissy fit. It ticked him off, but he gave me another chance. After we had sex (it was our first time) I didn't hear from him for a few days. Again, I got a little upset and sent messages to him saying so. He doesn't want to see me anymore. I thought I was reasonable for getting upset but Ive been doing some reading and learned that that's the fastest way to turn a guy off. Oh boy, I wish I would've realized what I did sooner... I sent him a message saying that Im sorry but he hasn't responded. Is it too late or can I fix this somehow?

N0help4u · Jul 27, 2008, 05:30 AM

If he doesn't want to be bothered any more there may not be much you can do.
Really the most you can do now would be something like asking him if you could get together for lunch so you can tell him that you are sorry. If he goes for it tell him you are new to this and you are so unsure of how to be in a relationship and would appreciate another chance. Tell him that since you are new to this you are open to him telling you too much too soon or whatever.
If he doesn't return your call or he says no to seeing you at all then either he was just using you or he got scared off that you were expecting too much too soon.
Never jump in bed or push things the first few months because even when it is what the guy seems to want it is usually all down hill from there if you haven't REALLY gotten to know them first.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 27, 2008, 05:34 AM

It may be that he came from a relatoinship where the other person "had fits" and did not like that, and the other thing, some men date to "score" and then move on. It is hard to tell. You can't make someone be and like the same things.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 27, 2008, 05:35 AM

The only thing you can do is learn by your mistakes and move on

KissMe10der · Jul 27, 2008, 12:23 PM

I would have been a little upset also, if I had sex with someone and they didn't talk to me for a few days. But you know, you learn from it. I think it's a little late, to reconnect. But Maybe if you feel up to it. Ask him how you can improve or what you did wrong, that's if you can handle what he has to say. Please don't take that the wrong way, I don't mean. If you have a low self esteem to go and ask for things wrong with you from a person you dated and it went wrong. I just mean, if you know what your doing wrong you can improve.

Lol, not sure that makes sense.

DreamOn85 · Jul 27, 2008, 08:28 PM

thank you everyone for your replies. To kissme10der... yes it makes sense. Im trying to decide the difference between trying to make sure that a relationship is meaningful and not sounding like I have excess baggage. I mean.. I was OK with going slow and not being obligated to call every minute or expecting commitments etc. But I thought it was simple courtesy to call someone after having sex. I just wanted to feel a LITTLE valued to make sure I wasn't being played. I was hurt and cheated on by my ex husband... so Im not sure if I have baggage or if Im being reasonable. I guess I didn't have to be as testy in my responses to him though.

So I sent him another offline Yahoo message saying that Im sorry, I'm new to dating etc... I guess that's as much as I can do. I don't want to seem unable to let go or desperate.

thanks for your help everyone.