My ex boyfriend!

Starshine12 · Jul 25, 2008, 05:45 AM

My ex boyfriend of 2 and half years broke up with me 6 weeks ago due to me hurting him (non-intentionally as I was going through a period of insecurity etc). He said too much had happened and was so upset. He needed time and space to heal.

I know that he still has feelings for me as he told me he will always fancy me, cares for me, but that he is blocking them out as that's what he does as way of coping.

Problem is he said he wanted to stay friends and I agreed. The thing is every time I try and talk to him he says he is too busy or ignores me. We have mutal friends who invited us to cinema, I texted him asking I he would mind if I went along as well (I didn't want to make him more hurt). The reply was - I can't stop you from coming, as long as you know we are not getting back together. I know he has moved on so why at every opportunity does he remind me that we can not get back together? I am only trying to be friends. Is he still hurting and punishing me?

miller3 · Jul 25, 2008, 07:48 AM

Can you explain more of what happened?

Romefalls19 · Jul 25, 2008, 07:51 AM

Please give details of what happened with the relationship(how old are you, reasons for breaking up) so we may give you proper advice.

miller3 · Jul 25, 2008, 07:58 AM

Romefalls what's up buddy?

talaniman · Jul 25, 2008, 08:04 AM

He needed time and space to heal.

This you must give him by leaving him alone. If you read these threads, you will find most people can only heal by not being in contact with the ex, and this is highly recommended for healing ones self, so please respect his wishes.

I am only trying to be friends. Is he still hurting and punishing me?

He is not ready for what you want, and its not about you, its about him coping, and adjusting, so don't take it personal, but do respect his need for space at this time. You don't push friendship, as it should be mutual, and equal, and for now, its not.

Starshine12 · Jul 25, 2008, 08:07 AM

We are both 23, reason for breaking up was we were apart for 3 months and I was away from home, my friends, was isolated and convinced myself he was cheating (no proof). He said I hurt him and was fed up with the arguing.

Romefalls19 · Jul 25, 2008, 08:14 AM

There really isn't much you can do now besides go no contact and move on. He seems to have his mind made up. You were accusing him of cheating with no proof, this takes a toll on anyone and eventually they get tired of the accussing and finally leave.

Read the stickies in Tal's signature or on the top of the forum and go no contact to start healing.

miller3 · Jul 25, 2008, 09:55 AM

I agree with the past post. I am in the same boat. Its been 4 1/2 months and the first 2 months I chased her and it was a huge mistake because here I am all this time later and without her. Its weird to me as well, but from what it seems he is forcing himself to move on fromo you because too much has happened bad and he feels it will not get better and/or he will never get over what has already happened. Leave him alone he will eventually contact you because it seems no was no closure, and if he does not then you know your answer. What all has happened with the comment he made?

MsMewiththat · Jul 25, 2008, 10:16 AM

What's important to understand is that he isn't attemtping to hurt you, he's establishing and reaffirming his boundaries. That is a very healthy thing for him to do. He's letting you know that no matter what, don't even try it. We are not getting back together. You can go to the movies and he'll be your friend, but don't try pushing his buttons. His line is drawn and he's asking you to respect that. People don't like being toyed with and once it happens and they get hurt... they realize that they don't like the power that you have to cause that type of pain and the lack of respect to have done it in the first place and they VOW TO NEVER ALLOW YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT AGAIN! Respect that

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