[ChihuahuaMomma]

How do I make him realize that I want to lose weight for myself and not to attract other men? I told him that I wanted to do it for ME, and he asked if I was also doing it for HIM. And I said no, he got offended. Later that day, he said I shouldn't lose weight, I was perfect the way I am. This doesn't make sense.

[JBeaucaire]

Yes it does make sense. He's insecure. I bet you can make a list of insecurities he has that don't fall at your feet, too, can't you?

You can't take responsibility for his insecurities. You can't. You can understand them and when he tries to thrust them on you, hand them back, calmly and un-aggressively.

"Yes, thank you, I AM fine the way I am, aren't I? (hug-kiss)" Then go back to your exercises.

HIM: "Why are you exercising?"
YOU: "It makes me feel better, I love the adrenaline. Want to join me?"

Once you spot your man's insecurities, don't feed them, even when he comes to you fishing for it, don't feed them. Respond in truthful ways that all point to you and take away his ability to make it about him.

You'll fail as you learn how he responds, but then you'll succeed. After 23 years of marriage I can look my wife in the face and say VERY confrontational things that don't result in a fight because I now know how to flavor our conversation without pushing her buttons, even when I'm getting in her face.

These are skills, practice makes perfect.
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TIP OF THE DAY:
It is amazing how disarming it is when you are accused of something, and instead of denying or fighting off the accusation, you find the truth in what was said and admit to it. Unapologetically, own the truth and ignore the rest. It takes the breath out of the argument when you're both on the same side.

HIM: "You just like going out with the girls because you like them more than me, you just like those slutty bars!!"
YOU: "Oh, my, we DO enjoy ourselves when we go out, don't we!?" (stop talking, smiling as if the discussion is over)

[ChihuahuaMomma]

He is never around when I exercise. He asks why when I complain about the way I look. We've been together 2 years, and still can't even reach that.

[Kevin_s]

Tell him that you want to be fit so that you can live life, feel more confident, and have more energy. I think he see's it as a threat to him because (based on your other thread) he thinks you should just be barefoot in the kitchen, cooking him dinner. That's not fair at all.

If you're interested in any links, exercise, diet advice PM me and I'll give you my personal E-mail to contact me in which I can give you a lot of great, helpful information!

[Fr_Chuck]

And there is also always the outside chance he perfers heavier people. There are those that are more "turned on" by a few pounds. Everyone has their fethish of some sort.

[Romefalls19]

Tell him you are doing it so you feel better about yourself. Getting in shape is about making yourself feel better about yourself.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

And there is also always the outside chance he perfers heavier people. There are those that are more "turned on" by a few pounds. Everyone has thier fethish of some sort.

He does.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Tell him that you want to be fit so that you can live life, feel more confident, and have more energy. I think he see's it as a threat to him because (based on your other thread) he thinks you should just be barefoot in the kitchen, cooking him dinner. That's not fair at all.

If you're interested in any links, exercise, diet advice PM me and I'll give you my personal E-mail to contact me in which I can give you a lot of great, helpful information!

I think you misunderstood my other post.

[Emland]

JB is right. He is insecure. He is afraid that if you lose weight that you will be attractive to other men.