[cassandrita]

Hi

I have been dating this guy for 1 year and half. I have accumulated a lot of things and now I think I'm about to crack. I just can't take it anymore, I'm just constantly mad at him for every little thing. He never saw me mad before, I'm not really the type to be, but now I'm really angry at him.
This is what is not functionning in your couple:

-communication: well I find that I can't communicate openly to him. Like when I try to explain my point of view on things he says I'm too complexe or just changes conversation. He just doesn't want to deal with what he calls <<ing>>

-We had serious talk about our relationship before and he seemed to be willing to change things, but we still back to square Zero.

- I know I should be asking myself well what makes me stay in this relationship or what does this relationship brings to me. And sincerely I could say not much of it at all.

Most people around me say that he should be more careful cause I might just slip away. Especially that I'm a intelligent good looking woman, but he seems just too involved in his own world. Trying to make him understand that there is more to life than just work and that I don't feel loved or appreciated even if he says it. I need more action attached to it. It seems almost as if I'm begging him to spend more time with me but all he does is work and sleep!:mad:

I don't want to drop him cause I know he has many wonderful attribute and qualities related to carring for his family, he would make a great father, he has good values, he is calm, not jealous, etc...

But my patience is about to die soon I feel it cause I'm getting too much frustrated
Help!!

[talaniman]

He may well be a good father, but will you have a good mate? Communicate or there is no relationship. Just 2 people going through the motions, and not happy.

[Romefalls19]

Without communication the relationship with surely die. If you can't talk now, marriage will surely end in divorce.

[Lovelee]

Hi

I have been dating this guy for 1 year and half. I have accumulated a lot of things and now i think im about to crack. I just can't take it anymore, im just constantly mad at him for every little thing. He never saw me mad before, im not really the type to be, but now im really angry at him.
This is what is not functionning in your couple:

-communication: well i find that i can't communicate openly to him. Like when i try to explain my point of view on things he says im too complexe or just changes conversation. He just doesnt want to deal with what he calls <<ing>>

-We had serious talk about our relationship before and he seemed to be willing to change things, but we still back to square Zero.

- I know i should be asking myself well what makes me stay in this relationship or what does this relationship brings to me. and sincerely i could say not much of it at all.

Most poeple around me say that he should be more careful cause i might just slip away. Especially that im a intelligent good looking woman, but he seems just too involved in his own world. Trying to make him understand that there is more to life than just work and that i dont feel loved or appreciated even if he says it. I need more action attached to it. It seems almost as if im begging him to spend more time with me but all he does is work and sleep!:mad:

I dont want to drop him cause i know he has many wonderful attribute and qualities related to carring for his family, he would make a great father, he has good values, he is calm, not jealous, etc...

But my patience is about to die soon i feel it cause im getting too much frustrated
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel your pain because my situation is very similar. Begging to spend time and all that. It's not an easy decision to make because they possess good qualities we look for but they just don't get it. Friends tell me to be more patient because he is such a good guy but patience can only go so far. I don't know why some people can't appreciate what they have before them. As others have pointed out, communication plays a critical role in the relationship. I hope things work out.

[Chery]

Maybe you 'settled' down too early in your life and still need the action it has to offer.

You don't sound as if you are ready for a layed-back homebody. You might need to be wined and dined because that's what young people do and it's fun - and we should never deny ourselves of this time in life.

How about asking him to meet you on a 'date' on the weekend and act like you just met, dress up and have some fun. During this time though, don't bring up 'usual and daily issues'. Just pretend as if you are getting to know each other anew.

If this man means something serious to you, coax him into going along with some fun. Watch some comedies, see some shows, or just walk outside in a park on a nice evening... Convince him that there is more to life than eat, sleep and work. Use some of that charm you still have in you and try to suppress your anger. Communicate at his level so that he won't put down your suggestions.

Here's hoping you get that spark back, dear.

[progunr]

The only person you are able to change, is yourself.

You can expect him to change, he can even promise to do so.

The truth is, most adults don't change.

[talaniman]

How old are you both?
Do you both work?
Do you live together?
Are there children involved?

[smoothy]

Unless you are a glutton for punishment walk away from this relationship.

Personally I can't understand why people stick with others that are so obviously wrong for them, then complain about it.

Your list of what's wrong is long... your list of what's right is very, very short.

Its obvious what you need to do. Either love him the way he is and deal with everything you dislike for the rest of your life and be happy about it (and give up the right to complain)... or leave him and find a better match.

You can't force someone to change to suit you any more than you would change everything to suit someone else.

[cassandrita]

How old are you both?
Do you both work?
Do you live together?
Are there children involved?

I'm 21yrs and he is 28yrs we don't live together yet and no kids involved. We both work he is construction and works long hours I'm in special care counselling and I work in group home mostly in the evening till late.

[talaniman]

I went back and reread your post from December of last year and your having the same issues as before, and since there is no reasonable resolution the only conclusion is he will not change and the two of you for whatever reasons, are not compatible, and unless there is a drastic change, you will never be happy together. My reasons, You communicate in different ways, and you don't work well together at all.