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Skylex94 · Jul 21, 2008, 08:38 PM

I am worried that my fiancé will not be able to stop drinking. We have a baby due at the end of next month, and I do not know whether to give up on him, or to help him out. He is a completely different person when he drinks, and part of me is scared that when our baby is born, he will yell/gripe at the baby for crying or something that the baby does. He is the best person in the world when he is sober and we do not have any problems. The only time we argue is when he is drunk. I am at a loss, he lies when he drinks, because he doesn't want to upset me. I have mentioned to him that I do not like him drinking, his family has expressed their thoughts as well. He stopped drinking for a long time and things were great, then he found out that his younger brother was getting into bad trouble and wouldn't accept his help and started drinking again because he felt helpless.

What should I do?

DoulaLC · Jul 22, 2008, 06:58 AM

Check out Al-Anon... you will find others who have already paved the way before you who can support you through this in trying to help him. You are right to be concerned about his behavior after the baby comes. Babies can be quite irritating, and if he normally has difficulty with his temper while drinking, a fussy baby will certainly be an irritant.

If you need to take drastic steps and move out with the baby until he gets help, so be it. Discuss it with him when he has not been drinking and explain your concerns, your wishes, offer your support, but let him know what will happen dependent on what he decides to do about his drinking.

Miller11 · Jul 30, 2008, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by Skylex94

I am worried that my fiance will not be able to stop drinking. We have a baby due at the end of next month, and I do not know whether to give up on him, or to help him out. He is a completely different person when he drinks, and part of me is scared that when our baby is born, he will yell/gripe at the baby for crying or something that the baby does. He is the best person in the world when he is sober and we do not have any problems. The only time we argue is when he is drunk. I am at a loss, he lies when he drinks, because he doesn't want to upset me. I have mentioned to him that I do not like him drinking, his family has expressed their thoughts as well. He stopped drinking for a long time and things were great, then he found out that his younger brother was getting into bad trouble and wouldn't accept his help and started drinking again because he felt helpless.

What should I do?

Please whatever you choose to do don't give up on him. He needs your support to help him get through this issue with drinking. Have you suggested some kind of support group? A drinking problem is bads news and he obviously needs help soon or it may come between you guys. And your baby sure doesn't need to be around all the alcohol. Good luck and I hope things get better for you.