[is this right]

Here we go...

I was 23 she was 23 and we had been friends for 2 years previous, we got together, and she was initially more keen than me. Eventually I dropped my barriers, learnt/fell in love with her, and we were happy for 6 years. Family, mutual friends, social life, being with each other, loving together... all of that was good. I could have married her, and been hapy HOWEVER...

One day I met someone for an hour and we connected. Yes we had both been drinking, but we felt something. In order to see if it was real or alcohole fueled we met again, and got on brilliantly.

I did the honerable (if you can call it that) thing and immediately ended my current relationship saying I had been feeling funny. She was super shocked!

The girl I have met made me realise that there might be someone else out there that I 'fit' with better, even if it is not her. (This is not a straight swap, one girl for another at all, but the new girl just got me thinking.)

It is 7 weeks since the break up and girlfriend moving out. I am still seeing (once a week) the new girl, and that is great, but I still have regular/strong feelings/thoughts about the ex. I assume they are natural as I have lost a bestfriend/companion/flatmate etc...

How can I be sure I have done the right thing? Maybe this new girl has simply clouded my judgement rather than helped me break a relationship that I thought there were problems with.

I do miss the ex, and could run back to her for security/comfort etc, but it is not fair and would be selfish on my part I guess...

[Johnny Knocker]

Sounds just like my situation. But I think I was only with my ex for so long because I didn't think there was anything better out there. I did meet someone though, and we are great friends now, and it just made me realize not to settle. If you are not 100% into the relationship then it is unfair to both parties to continue it.

6 years is a long time, and you aren't going to forget it overnight. It takes time. I am about 6 weeks out of my 6 year relationship and I still sometime wonder if I did the right thing. I know I did, but there is always that small doubt.

As much as I still have feelings for my ex, I know it wouldn't work, and I cannot pretend like it would if we got back together. That's what keeps me going. It helps to have your friends around though, and another girl isn't bad either lol. I would just take things slow, no need to rush back into another serious relationship after getting out of a 6 year one.

In short, just know that you did do the right thing. If you had enough strength to get out of a 6 year relationship then you wouldn't want to go back into it with the same doubt that there is someone else, someone better, out there for you.

[ordinaryguy]

I do miss the ex, and could run back to her for security/comfort etc, but it is not fair and would be selfish on my part I guess.........

Yes, it would be unfair and selfish. You made your choice, now live with it.

[N0help4u]

I do miss the ex, and could run back to her for security/comfort etc, but it is not fair and would be selfish on my part I guess...

You already did the unfair and selfish now whatever way this goes you have to live with it.
Sure you can eventually end up dumping this girl or she could end up dumping you but
You have to deal with whatever way things go now -for the good or the bad.

It would be good for you to realize that love is a commitment you often have to work at
And not a feeling that you walk away from when it is gone.

[is this right]

All very helpful and useful answers.
I just can help feeling that I may have fallen out of love with this person, and trying to 'make' it work at my end would have been further prolonging something that I should have ended earlier to protect her.

The new girl just got the mental process working, and I guess woke me up to the reality.

Yes I have to live with it now and move on, in the shadow of potentially realising I have made a mistake and only time will tell on this. I will have to deal with it for the rest of my life.

I also have to follow my gut, and back myself that I have made a right decision for me at this stage in my life.

Thank you all for comments.

[N0help4u]

Often people do get complacent and do not realize it. Possibly it was time to move on.
Time will tell. Just remember, for future reference, it is not good to play with people's hearts. You should try to work out things and find the spark rather than dumping and moving on.
One day someone you really do love could do that to you and payback is a Be0tch!

[hjpan]

You left a girl you love for 2 years FOR ANOTHER GIRL?

You really don't deserve to have any girls at all.

[brkfstatiffs]

I think you need to be very honest with both of them, so that at the end of the day if it doesn't work out - they will both respect your mature, honesty. I think for the new girl, you need to tell her you want to take things slow or to be honest, have a few months for yourself and then go back to her if she is interested. It's not fair to the new girl that you still have feelings for your ex. New relationships almost never work if the ex is still semi in the picture and more so feelings. Be friends with the new girl, but be honest and tell her you don't want to get into anything serious until you are emotionally over your ex, because otherwise it would not be fair for her or you if you tried.

[all_halloeve13]

Dude I so agree. That just recently happen to me. Was engaged ready to start planning wedding when I get left because they wanted to be with someone in his unit that just got there.