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mizz_on_her_own · Jul 20, 2008, 05:25 PM

I don't understand why I have this feeling that keeps coming and going. I thought I was in love with this guy that I was dating for almost 5 months. It was weird 'cause every time I talked to him I would smile and get butterflies in my stomach and when he touches me I just melt away. But I thought back on what happened between us I realize that I wasn't treated very good. And I thought that I was completely over him even though we talked a lot. Well recently I started getting those feelings back and we talk all the time and about the same things a lot but something triggered the feelings that I once felt for him. So what is it that I'm feeling? Is it love or my mind playing tricks on me? What should I do?

Bellagrace19 · Jul 20, 2008, 06:22 PM

First off... you have to look at your age and if this was the first real committed relationship that you were in...
I went kind of through the same thing with my little girl's sperm donor... He gave me those same feelings and it made me feel like the most wonderful person when I was with him, whether he treated me like crap or not, even though it would be his fault, I would try to fix and resolve the matter, just to make him happy and want to be with me. We would get along fine, and talk about all sorts of things...
But in the end, it ended up being a terrible situation. Not saying it's the same for you...
But you just have to come to reason with yourself and go through a number of things like: Was he your first committed relationship, Was he the first to give you that attention that you have been looking for... Or was did he truly make you happy with yourself, and it was just a wonderful thing between you... if that's the case, then how come it didn't work about between you? I can't give you the answer, but just remember everything happens for a reason, whether you want to believe it or not...

mizz_on_her_own · Jul 22, 2008, 09:54 PM

Well most of the time he made me feel like an awesome person and yes we would have fightz but I alwayz called back and apoligize for what I said or did. I tried to make it work all the time. And what had happened waz I finally found my mom after almost 11 yrs wit out having a clue as to who or where she waz. And I'm 14. It was the first committed relationship I was in. And I thought that he was commited2 until he met my girlfriend tat he new about. Then he completely changed but I don't know. He is back to being normal. And now tat I am in Indiana he iz begging me to come and c him. But I don't know what I should do. I really want to c him. But my girlfriend iz telling me tat I shouldn't but I can't help it I love him still. And he constantly tells me tat he loves me and misses me. I really don't know what to do. I cry every night over my girlfriend and him. I... dont know

JBeaucaire · Jul 23, 2008, 03:51 AM

You have to realize that at 14 years of age, EVERYTHING seems much more vivid, more extreme. Everything is so new and you don't have a lot to compare it to.

This guy shows you focused attention. Your mind and heart make that into something MUCH bigger than it is. Also, you don't have experience yet separating words from action. You see, guys are best judged on their ACTIONS, not their words or touches. Words are intentions, a reflection of what is hoped for. Words MIGHT reflect some truth, but by no means are truth in and of themselves.

And touches inspire adrenaline in YOUR body, the rush you feel isn't about him, it's your own natural chemistry at work. I promise, ANY boy you are ever mildly attracted to will cause your body to rush that way when they touch you. It's natural, it's not actually "out of control love"... but your mind WILL try to make you think it is. It's not. Only experience will teach you that.

That's why some girls appear to be "sluts", they actually crave that adrenaline rush caused by physical contact. It's not sex they really want, it's the side effect they want, and like any other drug... it's a bad idea.

Anyway, you HAVE to keep things straight in your head. A guy should be judged on how he makes you feel about yourself by how he acts and treats you, not by what he says or touches. Enjoy the words or touches, just don't be led by them.

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2008, 07:11 AM

Often when you are in the middle of the relationship and it is evident that you do not get along, it is not working out you break up. Then months, years later your mind focuses more on the good memories and forget the bad ones. Then you start romanticizing how good it was and imagine that if you get back together that is what it will be. You have to keep reminding yourself that it takes two and why you broke up. Realize that getting back together will only remind you of why you broke up in the first place.

mizz_on_her_own · Jul 28, 2008, 06:26 AM

Well itz not all about the way he touches me. It'skinda the way he treated me but not. Idk how to explain it. I just don't understand because I don't know why I like him. He's not very good looking and he doesn't have a very good personality. I don't know its weird and I don't use him for sex I just like him a lot. I don't understand why. I would die for him. We still talk and I just found out that he is afraid to let himself trust me because ehe has trust issues and he doesn't want to get hurt by someone he loves. And he toldme that he loves me and that is why he doesn't want to trust me is because he is afraid of me hurting him. Idk... it's strange. I reallyo think he is my first true love. I try so hard to make everything work but no matter what I do it just doesn't work

N0help4u · Jul 28, 2008, 06:48 AM

Well all you can do is be his friend as much as he is willing to allow you to be and see where it goes.
Make sure that you really do have feelings for him and not just intrigued by the idea that he is 'hard to get' or something.

mizz_on_her_own · Jul 29, 2008, 05:46 PM

Well he really isn't hard to get he tells me all the time about how he loves me and how he wants me to come and be with him but I don't know if I should bacause every time I'm around him I let my gaurds down around his friends and I get hurt by his friends more than I do him. But I guess its because his friends tell me so much that I don't know what to believe.

Rabbit91 · Jul 29, 2008, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by mizz_on_her_own

I don't understand why I have this feeling that keeps coming and going. I thought I was in love with this guy that i was dating for almost 5 months. It was weird 'cause every time I talked to him I would smile and get butterflies in my stomach and when he touches me I just melt away. But I thought back on what happened between us I realize that i wasn't treated very good. And I thought that I was completely over him even though we talked alot. Well recently i started getting those feelings back and we talk all the time and about the same things alot but something triggered the feelings that I once felt for him. So what is it that I'm feeling? is it love or my mind playing tricks on me? What should I do?

Lost mostlikely not

An urge for the "experience of the past" most likely.

Or it could be lovee :)

Lalalala

mizz_on_her_own · Jul 30, 2008, 06:26 AM

I think it love honestly. Because I can never get him off my mind. I was so lonely for him one night that I put one of his shirts on my pillow and laid my head on it and I could smell him. Then I closed me eyes and I could feel his touch and his kiss onmy head but when I opened my eyes he wasn't there and I just cried for hours until I finally fell asleep.I don't know I'm so crazy for him I just don't know what to do.