[drummergirl6]

6 threads merged


Wel I'm a girl I've just turned 17 I'm gay an I've come out to my family an friends an I met this girl wel we kind of beeen flirting a little bit but she is 14 an I don't know if it is wrong to date a girl this young as of the maturity levels between us, I just wanted your views thank you

[chuff]

I'd say that's probably up to the parents at that age.

[drummergirl6]

Because people say go for it an date but other think its wrong so I have no idea but thank you

[progunr]

I guess I'm too old, but if this was a guy/girl situation, I would be screaming at you NO!

Two females, on the other hand... I really don't know... in some ways sounds harmless...
But then again at 14... wow... I really don't know!

[drummergirl6]

Thank you, just don't know if I should or shouldn't

[chuff]

Well I can tell you if a 17 year old was after my 14 year old daughter I would have a problem with it. However if my 17 year was after a 14 year I wouldn't. I don't know if that makes me a hypocrite but the point is your both kids and as such the parents should be asked. If you can't ask the parents if it's cool for you two to hang out then you can't do it because neither of you are legal and neither of you can legally make decisions for yourself and I'd say this is an important decision that requires the parents.

[drummergirl6]

Yeah I understand, we are both just mates at the moment with harmless flirting, but I feel sick as I like her an she's that young

[chuff]

yeah i understand, we are both just mates at the moment with harmless flirting, but i feel sick as i like her an she's that young

Then you need to let it go for a few years. If you feel sick now, then your off to a bad start. If you have a nagging voice in the back of your head... LISTEN TO IT it is there for a reason, not be ignored.

[drummergirl6]

No I only feel weird about is because of some comments on sites like this that say it wrong when I'm with her it feels fine an nothing I doing is wrong! Just comments I've read but then again that it between a girl an a guy but I surpose gender doesn't matter

[talaniman]

Gender does not matter as I wouldn't let you around my 14 year old, male or female. Your just to old for her.

[Fr_Chuck]

Too much age difference for a 14 year old. Would not let it with any of my kids

[Alty]

20 and 23 isn't a big gap, but 14 and 17, it might as well be 20 years. A fourteen year old is in a totally different place in her life than a 17 year old. She's 14 and not really sure of who and what she is or wants. I'm not saying that she's not gay, but she might just be experimenting at this age, that is one good reason not to date her.

If I had a 14 year old I wouldn't let her date a 17 year old, heck I probably wouldn't even let her date a 14 year old, I remember what it's like to be 14.

If you really care about her then wait a few years, 17 and 20 is still a gap but not nearly as big as it is now in terms of maturity.

Good luck.

[starbuck8]

I agree with Alty. If you still want to remain friends with her, that is fine, but she is too young for you at a maturity level.

Let me share something with you. My niece, when she was 13 yrs old and still trying to figure out who she was, said she was certain she was gay. She was hanging out with 16 and 17 yr old girls that were gay. She wanted to be liked, and wanted friends and found one friend who she started dating. (without our knowledge) She thought she finally found somewhere where she could fit in, and she liked it.

As she started getting older, she realized that she really wasn't gay, although we would've been fine with that had she been. She then started to act out. She started drinking, cutting, and tried to overdose, because she couldn't handle the things that she had done with this girl. It took her until she was almost 19, to get her head back on straight, and realise that what she did was just young experimentation.

I think you should really wait for your friend to mature enough to know herself, or it could really screw her up in later years. You already know who you are, but you can't be so sure that she does.

[Alty]

Darnit, I had to spread the love Starby. That was a wonderful, very accurate post, so true. OP, try and remember when you where 14, and realize that at this time, your age difference with this girl is just too great.

I wish you all the best, you will find someone great, but try and find someone your own age.

Good luck.

[N0help4u]

If you want more than just friendship
You have to go according to your state laws guy or girl
Heterosexual or gay
Most states law is 16 years minimum is age of consent.
Many states are 18 years.

[bigdee]

In my opinion I think 17 years old is a bit young. So obviously I think 14 years old is way to young!

[drummergirl6]

I was with my ex for over a year an a few months, and I known her longer that that we were mates to start with an things got rocky a while back for a few months an we broke up a few times an got back togeher, she was kind of possessive an controlling never wanting me to talk to anyone or do anything with my life, but she left me 3 weeks ago and she just never bothers at all I haven't heard from her at all an I don't understand why she always said she loved me an everythin and we use to argue a lot, (we was a gay couple) an it seems like everythin she eveer said to me was a lie an the way she treated me was just wrong but I still love her I just don't know what to do.. can't stop thinking about her I get out with mates etc but nothing is working? Help

[drummergirl6]

Thank you for your comments

[talaniman]

You need more than 3 weeks to get over her, so be patient, and give yourself more time. Read the stickies to this section, for some good idea to help you move on.

[drummergirl6]

Thanks I've tried indulging myself in mates and other things my mind just always wanders to her