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chrissymarie · Jul 15, 2008, 12:55 PM

I started seeing this new guy. Right now we are only friends but we do have a crush on each other and occasional sex. Things have been getting a little bit more serious and he decided to introduce me to his family over the weekend at a family bbq for his birthday. He warned me his family could be very judgemental and that they really missed his ex girlfreind but I thought nothing of it. Families always love me. Well at the bbq I had a few drinks too many and this little girl (his Neice) was singing "this is the song that never ends..." in the most annoying voice ever! I leaned over to her and said "Now thats one annoying little song your singing." Not in a rude voice or anything but in a playful one. The little girl didn't seem to be offended so I didn't apologize or anything. But apparently my friends entire family heard and they told him they really don't like me, I'm rude, and I'm no longer invited over. He's mad at me too. What can I do? I'm willing to apologize but do I have to kiss too?? I really want to fix things.

N0help4u · Jul 15, 2008, 02:18 PM

The only thing I think you can do is apologize to him like you can't apologize enough and ask for a second chance.

southerngalps · Jul 15, 2008, 02:33 PM

You can apologize, definitely. Call the mother and apologize... maybe she will think that it was very big of you. First impressions are always very important, though. Their perception of the event is entirely different and they may never change their opinion of it... I wish you the best of luck.

hjpan · Jul 15, 2008, 07:14 PM

Not dating and occasional sex? ...

chrissymarie · Jul 16, 2008, 07:11 AM

No we are not an official couple and yes we do have sex... why?

bradysmama17 · Jul 16, 2008, 07:19 AM

Well appologize and mabey in time the family will come around

chrissymarie · Jul 16, 2008, 07:26 AM

Well everyone, thanks for your responses. Yesterday I bought some flowers and a card for his mother, a toy microphone for the little girl and a card and starbucks gift card for he r mother and dropped it of at my friends mothers house on her porch. I explained how sorry and embarrassed I was in the card and that if I was to ever see them again I would show them that I truly am a good person. My friends mother said I am still rude and she will have to think hard about inviting me to her home again... WHAT THE HELL?

bradysmama17 · Jul 16, 2008, 07:46 AM

Well you did the best you could. I learned along time ago you can't be liked by all.

JBeaucaire · Jul 16, 2008, 09:07 AM

Your apology is not a "get out of jail free" card, it's the first step towards healing, and it's a REQUIRED step. Them actually forgiving you is NOT a required step.

To be forgiven, you have to not only apologize, you have to give the people you've apologized to all the time they need to discover you are not guilty any longer of the crime or the habit.

So, you've apologized. Good. Now, 10 visits to their house from now, you will probably see the final results of them forgiving you. 10 visits. That means a long wait.

Make sure you really NEED this, because overcoming a family's justified bad attitude about you is going to take a LOT of work. There will be a LOT of butt-kissing for quite some time.

Make sure you really NEED this.