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JuJuFruit · Jul 14, 2008, 03:11 PM

My husband and I have been married 5 years and have 2 kids.

We have an active and enjoyable sex life. I love him, he loves me.

But that is all we have.. love and great sex... lol

We have no common interests. Aside from liking the same TV shows...

We have been trying to come up with things to do together, and one of use don't like it.

Sat. we had a babysitter for the entire day. We went to a few stores, and out to eat.

We couldn't agree on anything else to do.

I have told him to go and enjoy the things he likes without me. He don't want to do that.

We need to find something or our marriage is going to just continue to crumble.

Any ideas?

Kayla8918 · Jul 14, 2008, 03:35 PM

My boyfriend and I have the same problem. Our outing together is usually grocery shopping. We both would rather be in eachothers company. So I decided that we had to do something about it. Twice a month we have "date nights" We take turns on planning fun or cheap dates that each other can enjoy. We also take walks together a few times a week.

JuJuFruit · Jul 14, 2008, 03:37 PM

That is our issue. WE want to spend time together off the couch, and without the kids.

Maybe I will suggest that we each plan a "date" with the other person in mind... lol

Kayla8918 · Jul 14, 2008, 03:53 PM

Hopefully he'll be up for it. It really helps though just to be out of the house once in a while.

NowWhat · Jul 15, 2008, 09:14 AM

My husband and I have totally different interests. The things he likes to do - scare me to death. So, in order for him to enjoy his hobbie, I don't go. I have tried and I end up getting physically sick.

So... we decided a while back to do something that takes us both out of our comfort zone. Something we can do together and since it is new to us both, we can bond.

We like to go bowling, even though neither of us is any good at it. We still have fun.

We exercise together, take cooking classes, even dance classes.
The key is to be open to it. Go in with an open mind and enjoy it.

Gregisteredtrademark · Jul 15, 2008, 09:30 AM

Don't be afraid to explore each others interests. Obviously if he likes skydiving and your afraid of heights, you may want to pass. But say he likes going to the ball game, try it. The same goes the other way, you may like to go for walks in the woods, have him try it. Just don't complain or put the other one down. I do agree with "Now What" that trying something outside both comfort zones can be healthy. Bowling is such a good example, along with batting cages, mini golf, etc.

N0help4u · Jul 15, 2008, 10:18 AM

I know it is hard to find things to do often.
Sometimes you just have to go with the other even if it is not something you are really into.
I like festivals, flea markets and car cruises.
Billiards can help fill a boring day.
Swimming on a hot day
Riding bikes or hiking on a trail
Or just cooking out and hanging out in the backyard can be a bit of a change.
Going to a park or camping might be nice too.
Check local papers for local groups that are playing in your area.

JuJuFruit · Jul 18, 2008, 06:37 AM

I think most of our problems are that he grew up country doing "country" things. Fishing, camping, hanging out at the river

I grew up in the city doing "city" things. Museums, plays,

He wants to do a lot of outdoor things. We live in LA (state) and its frigging HOT here.

And sorry but I can not find enjoyment being outside sweating my a$$ of when I have a nice cool air conditioned house.. lol

NowWhat · Jul 18, 2008, 02:34 PM

I know what you mean - I do. But... as you know marriage is give and take. Every once and a while it would be nice for you to do something that he is in to, and the same goes for him.

The trick to enjoying your time together is not to walk out the door making up your mind that you are going to have a bad time. (LIke, it's freaking hot, not going to have fun)

You can try new things together. Like I had said earlier - sign up for classes - something you can do together. Be it, photography or art, whatever.

dentist online · Jul 21, 2008, 05:21 PM

Love and sex are not an issue? Your marriage is blessed indeed. I say don't look for trouble - it may come to find you! Seriously though, you need to embrace your individuality and support each other's varied interests. And you are right... it is frigging hot here!

Fr_Chuck · Jul 21, 2008, 05:51 PM

First of course love and sex are not nearly the same thing, they work together but are different. And while a couple should be doing things together, it is great also for each to have some of their own interest, my wife will not go near a boat, I love to boat and fish, her idea of fish is on the plate with fries.

She loves classicial music, my idea of classic is "Dr Hook"
We don't even agree on TV, we trade shows, I watch some action or she watches some home remodel show. When we go out, she will choose one time, I do another.

JBeaucaire · Jul 21, 2008, 06:42 PM

Take up some NEW common interest things, things new to both of you in terms of actually going and doing them:

Trips into the city to see full-stage plays/musicals
Sea snorkeling/Kayaking/ Sea Cave exploring
Season tickets to major sporting events (football, soccer, baseball)
Yearly "event" trips, like New Years in Times Square NY
DIY remodeling projects around the house...learn to tile or paint together
Jazz dance class
Karate/Judo class together
Hiking in the Sequoias, camping overnight w/o the kids
Adult cruises to Mexican Riviera

Having your own normal life/interests is actually a good thing. Make sure you develop a weekly/monthly/yearly "events" you look forward to all the time meanwhile.