[onlymyself]

Is 14 too young to date?

[N0help4u]

Depends
For starters...
What state do you live in?
How old is the guy?
What do you call dating?
What does he call dating?

[onlymyself]

I don't understand what you mean by "What state do you live in?" sorry
He's 16
Going out, talk about our life, get to know each other
Don't know but he's not the kind of guy who just want one thing as far as I know.

[N0help4u]

Do you live in Florida, California, Texas, Canada, England?
Different places have different age of consent laws and even if you do not plan on doing anything things happen. Somebody could report that he IS doing stuff with you, you could have 'a weak moment', so it is best to know the laws and maybe just talk until you are of age before you start actually spending time alone or going out together.

[KalFour]

I have a rule for dating. Don't feel compelled to live by it, but it's the one I use:

Take the age of the older person and divide it by 2, then add 7. If you get a number greater than that of the younger person, you shouldn't date. By this rule, 14 is the youngest age a person can date, and at that age it's only OK for them to date other 14-year-olds. This also means that an 18-year-old can date anyone from 16-22, and a 22-year-old can date anyone from 18-28 etc.

But still, it really comes down to the two people involved. At 14 it's not legal to have sex (except in a few countries, it depends where you live), but at 16, in my country at least, it is legal.
So even if you think you wouldn't be pressured, do you think you'd feel confident in saying "no" if the occasion arose?
Also, how well do you know him?
Do you think the age gap would be an issue in terms of interests, ideas, psycological development etc?
If you think it'll work, then the age gap isn't so huge as to cause major problems. But you're younger and might not know quite what you're in for. Just make sure you're careful and know how to set boundaries.

All the best,
Kal

[DoulaLC]

Is 14 too young to date?

Meeting for a movie, going out to eat, etc.. Many parents are more comfortable if their children (especially daughters and yes, I know that is sexist) start going out in groups for awhile first. Then maybe moving onto dropping their child off at the movies, for example, and picking them back up at a designated time... or acting as a chauffeur for the couple. This gives them time to see how responsible you are (are you waiting for them when you say you will be, going where you say you will, etc.), how the boy interacts with you and with them (very important to make a good impression from the start!), and become more comfortable with the idea if it is new territory.
Remember, your parents were young too... even though clothing, music, and hair styles may change over the years... feelings teens have do not, so it may take them time to get used to the idea... and like it or not, you will always be their little girl so while they want to see you happy and enjoying yourself, they also will feel a great need to keep you safe... difficult line to walk sometimes... :)

[hjpan]

Dating: it's fine.

Sex: Better not do it.

[mimi03]

I think 14 is a bit young to start dating.

"Going out, talk about our life, get to know each other"

If this is your idea of dating it's a quite simple concept... so simple that it sounds a lot like a friendship. Why not keep it that way, just as a friendship?

((Just remember these things start simple but they can quickly get serious, complicated and undesirable.))

I'd just like to encourage you to remember that you have your entire life ahead of you! So, there's plenty of time for dating

With this said it's OK to have guys as only friends for now... from what you described as dating, that was the exact premise of my HS friendships with guys. Trust me it was always fun but I never had the drama/stress that my friends had with guys. Of course my male friends would go through periods where they liked me and wanted to date but I stayed focused on my goals and ME! And it paid off!

Why not date yet?
This is the time to really start focusing on YOU because as you mature you will change and life will bring many challenges and gifts but YOU should be your number ONE right now and dating can often be a HugE distraction especially when you are young... not because your feelings aren't valid but just because of your lack of life experience and maturity <I don't mean that you aren't smart but you are still growing mentally... did you know that your brain is still developing and will continue until your mid20s?? > This alone is a big factor!

I hope you can wait a little longer to get to that next step (dating)... Just curious what are your parents' rules about you dating?

Check this article out: Dating, Relationships and Your Brain
Dating, Relationships and Your Brain - Approved Free Article

This just shows that there are forces outside of how we feel, hormones and what we think we know that will effect our relationships.

I really hope this helps and doesn't seem like a lecture :)

[teezee]

I would say don't be too concerned with some law of your state. It doesn't prevent babies from having sex so really the so called "law" is insignificant here. If you think you are ready to date, then date. No one should be able to tell you that you are too young if you understand what you're getting yourself into, except your mom of course because you live with her and can't make her go away. Plus dating isn't always about sex I don't know why you people have your panties up in a bunch.

[J_9]

i would say dont be too concerned with some law of your state. it doesnt prevent babies from having sex so really the so called "law" is insignificant here.

So, you are advocating underage sex? You really think that there are not sexual offender laws? You see, where I work (and I AM a nurse) any child that delivers by a father that is significantly older than the "mother" gets reported to CPS. It is law where I live.

If I have a child of 14 in my labor and delivery department and the father of her baby is 18 or older, we have to report it. Why? It is a sex crime.

So, the law is NOT insignificant.

[N0help4u]

First date doesn't always stay first date and innocent kissing. Hormones do kick in and things do happen.
People do assume and report what THEY assume. I didn't say she shouldn't start a relationship with him but cautioning that later down the line she has to be cautious so take it slow until she IS of age.

We HAVE two recent posts on here within the past week on people asking if they can press charges because their minor daughter had a baby to their boyfriend and then they broke up and now the daughters mother is pressing charges and trying to send the guy to jail.
The other is, a girls boyfriend has to go back to jail for living with her and her baby because once you have a sex violation you are not allowed to be around kids at all no matter the circumstances.
So these girls that do whatever THEY feel are ruining these guys life's because they do not realize the life long consequences of them being 18 and their girl friend being 14.
Not only does it effect the guys life being on the sex offenders list everywhere he goes for the rest of his life, it can effect any girlfriend that he might want to be with in the future, his decision to want kids someday, his kid finding out daddy having sex with mommy =me being born +daddy going to jail which could cause the baby to grow up blaming himself. It can also effect his getting hired at any decent job.

[Romefalls19]

i would say dont be too concerned with some law of your state. it doesnt prevent babies from having sex so really the so called "law" is insignificant here. if you think you are ready to date, then date. no one should be able to tell you that you are too young if you understand what you're getting yourself into, except ur mom of course because u live with her and can't make her go away. plus dating isnt always about sex i dont know why you people have your panties up in a bunch.

Are you serious? How old are you? The law is put there to try and prevent child abductions and sexual predators! You have all these networking sites that are just playgrounds for pedifiles to sit and wait for kids who think they are "old enough" to pick who they date without any type of knowledge behind what they get themselves into. This is a completely different story if the other guy she wishes to date is also the same age because sure going to the movies and school dances is fine. But what you are suggesting is moronic(not you personally, just your suggestion) and to tell someone who is 14 years old to disregard the law is just wow.

[DoulaLC]

I think we are jumping the gun here in regard to the OP. Yes, the laws are there to protect everyone involved... those underage and the "adults". It goes both ways with gender... the young man could be underage and the girl older. Hopefully, and I know it doesn't always happen this way unfortunately, those dating would know each other well enough to know their ages and understand what the ramifications could be if they moved forward if age was going to be a potential issue. Sadly, some people... male and female, lie about their age... and ignorance doesn't protect you from the law.
The law isn't insignificant because it would indeed stop some from getting involved with someone not of age. My daughters have had guys interested and strick up a conversation with them only to back off when they found out they weren't as old as they thought they were.
However, in the case of the OP, she is 14 and the young man in question is 16.

[Sofy123]

No I stared Dating when I waz 10 years old

[hjpan]

No I stared Dating when I waz 10 years old

And when did you open your legs..

[wataboutnow]

You are really the only person that can answer that question. I wouldn't worry about the laws that bad because you are both pretty young.

[ScottGem]

One thing missing in all this is what do your parents say? Despite some of the responses here, its not you but your parents that decide. You are a minort and they are responsible for you.

In my opinion 14 is cut off point when it becomes OK for a person to start one on one dating. At this age, however, the parents should meet and approve of the people you go out with.

Dating does not equal sexual activity, thought it can lead to it so that has to be considered.

[talaniman]

14 is old enough to have fun with friends, and do stuff over the weekend and call friends over the phone, not be alone unchaperoned, with the opposite sex, just the opinion of a parent.

[onlymyself]

It's not about law because I think that if you want to have sex you won't consider law but anyway that's not the point because I don't even think about having sex at the age of 14 and I know quite well what guys do to you but I'm strong because I had my heart played with =(.

We hanged out two times in a group and he seems caring and OK.
I know the majority would not approve but I didn't tell my parents about hanging in a group and I wouldn't tell them if I dated him too.
They would spend all week talking about it and finding excuses for me not to go out so I won't tell them.

[ScottGem]

And you are only confirming your parents reasons to control you by sneaking around behind their backs. They will eventually find out and you will be worse off. You are heading down a very bad path.