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hipkat · Jul 11, 2008, 11:46 PM

Hi. I am new to this so bear that in mind with your responses. My ex and I broke up several times over the past year and a half. I am having a hard time since I feel I created most of the problems. Let me start from the beginning, I was in a long distance relationship- driving in on the weekends {and he was doing the same} to see each other. I began to start resenting the distance and drive and eventually called it off- not because of feeling but just the circumstances. He begged me to not give up and so we got back together and again I just couldn't deal with the distance so I called it off again. He respected my wishes but eventually we got back together. This was over my birthday week and we had a bad fight to which I flew out to a weekend getaway with my friends.. he called me and broke up with me over the phone when I was out of state. I was devastated! I called him when I got back to my city and he said he no longer felt the same for me since all the fighting. I understood and didn't contact him - he eventually contacted me a few weeks later and said he wanted to try again. I agreed. This is where it really gets sticky. He was somewhat distant and eventually came clean that he had slept with someone when we were broken up and she got pregnant. This girl he had hooked up was married to one of his acquitances. I was devastated and told him to never contact me again to which he begged for forgiveness and said she had ended the pregnancy. I was torn since technically we were not together the time he claimed it happened. It took time but I eventually wanted to get back together and work it out one last time. Well since then, I have had issues forgiving him (like seeing her things at his house, etc) and he doesn't know how he feels about her (since she was carrying his child) and about me and the anger I have towards the situation. He broke up with me and said he doesn't love me enough to work this out since "i will never get over what he did to me and will never trust him completely". I love him but I can see his point and since then.,. He has ping ponged between me and her several times. Did I create this hell? We are currently not speaking but I feel horrible... I asked for the gifts I had given him and he seems to be very bitter about them( specifically a plasma tv). Was I being petty about my belongings? Please give me perspective because I feel all over the place. Thanks in advance.

AandZ4ever · Jul 12, 2008, 02:02 AM

Ill keep it short and to the point. If a couple breaks up more than twice its never going to work out. That's a fact. And girl once a cheater always a cheater. Don't trust him. DUMP HIM

talaniman · Jul 12, 2008, 08:34 PM

Forget the gifts, as you can't take those back, and leave him to the life he has, and get one for yourself. Closer to home mind you, as LDR's are very hard to maintain for even the most committed couple, and in your case, you guys never had a chance. Be glad its over, and done with.

Romefalls19 · Jul 13, 2008, 02:31 PM

Forget about your belongings, just be happy to be out from this roller coaster relationship. All that break up, get back together, break try it again is only prolonging the realization that it's not meant to be.

N0help4u · Jul 13, 2008, 03:51 PM

Belongings are a small price to pay in breaking up. You can't always get them back and even most Judges will tell you chalk it up to lesson learned with most possessions.
As the others said LDR rarely are worth it and breaking up more than twice you are only giving him a chance to prove over again why you left in the first place.
He misses you he calls you and then he changes his mind -NOT a good basis for a solid relationship whatsoever