[stillmatic07]

All right let me get to the point and give you the background in a few seconds. I thought she was the love of my life, and she still kind of seems like it. We've been talking since January 1st. Starting going out April 5th. She has parents that never let her see boys, from what Ive witnessed.. I see her once a month. On a good month, I see her twice. When we're in person, it's nothing Ive ever felt before. I feel like we are indestructible relationship wise, and she shows a lot of affection. When we aren't together.. which is OFTEN, I feel a lot different. She's 15, and I'm 16. I'm a senior and she's a sophomore. She's also a virgin, and I'm not.

Let's get to the troubles we've faced. She talked to this boy before me, and stopped when we started dating. His name was TJ. I found out, about a week ago.. that last month they exchanged pictures and sex text messages together. I confronted her and she said that she didn't feel anything for him and didn't think it mattered. Keep in mind, she's never done anything like this with me.. even though I'm her boyfriend of 3 months. So that hurt. Another, I hear that she is constantly talking to other guys behind my back, and It hurts to confront her about it. She says that she talks to her best friends and that is it. She says she loves me, but not as much as I love her.. which ALSO hurts, although I have to accept that. She's a beautiful girl, and she could get another guy in a second, which scares me. She's literally the best looking girl in her school. I'm pretty shallow, so this is how I end up with these girls. Ive offered nothing but love for her, and Ive sacrificed a lot to be with her. I deal with the fact that I get to kiss her once a month, yet she says she can't do anything about it.. it's her parents. I can't sway her parent's decisions or opinions either.. they are hardcore. We constantly fight because we don't see each other, and I'm always confronting her with information I get from her BEST BEST friends.. but I can't reveal to her where this information comes from because I'd be breaking a lot of trust and bonds with these people. They don't want to see her hurt me, so they tell me this information. It's credible, for the most part, because everything Ive heard, Ive been able to back up with solid evidence. I have her email address and password, so that's how I found out about the pictures she exchanged because she saved them.

It's hard to fit the whole situation in this text box, and it probably won't all be conveyed. I just hope you all fathom my feelings for the situation. I Can't Trust Her...
But I love her so much that it hurts. I almost feel like I shouldn't ask for information from her friends to stop the fighting that follows between us. I just want her to take this relationship as seriously as I do. She continues to talk to other guys, and goes to THEM for sexual (text/call/pic) pleasure. I asked her why, and she responded with "I don't know".

Then of course we experience those times on the phones where we can't believe the bond we have and how amazing we feel about each other. These only happen once in a while, when things cool down after having a fight about other guys, or not seeing each other. She doesn't even work around this, as in meeting me somewhere her parents will allow her to go: like the mall/beach/movies/friends house. I confronted her with it and she responded: "I'm not going to force my friends into hanging out with us".

She obviously isn't giving 100% like I am, and it hurts me to say this.. but I can't do it anymore. As much as I'd rather be hurt constantly.. JUST to have those few physical moments of bliss once a month.. Ive come to realize it can't be that way. I need some help from you guys. Give me your opinion before I make a solid decision. Thank you.

[ylaira]

First of all I commend a lad like you about turning here for advise.Here are my thoughts...

First, U can't go on with the relationship if you don't trust & your partner is not trustworthy.
Second, U must love yourself first.
Third, Your love must be returned with equally deserving treatment.
Fourth, You have to be matured and tough enough to handle the responsibility of being in a relationship.
Fifth,Study first and find someone else that deserves you.
Lastly, The best way to retialiate to someone who hurt you is to be better.

[N0help4u]

You can't do it any more because you are making all the effort.
If she was all that into you she would show a bit more interest.
She sounds like she isn't ready to get interested in anybody and stringing you along by not telling you she wants to leave her options open.
Why does she have time and effort to exchange pictures and text messages with other guys and not you? They seem to be more appealing maybe because they are more challenging whereas she knows she has you in her pocket IF and when she wants you.

You find a bond within her because there is something there you like about her. Figure out what it is and find it in somebody else. Sometimes that sick to your stomach feeling is intuition trying to tell you something

[stillmatic07]

Well thank you for the quick responses. I really don't believe ill be able to trust her if she can't tell me about her other guy friends on her own, and I have to find out from her friends.

What's keeping me with her?: She's sincere when I'm with her, a kind of sincere I don't usually find in other girls. She is BEAUTIFUL, and has an absolutely AMAZING Body. I also feel like she WILL love me. I just want that bond to develop because I know she will eventually have it with someone else who won't give her the time of day and will use her. She's glued to guys who take advantage of her. I don't want her to lose her virginity to some guy who doesn't care about her.. and I know that's going to happen. I just want to prevent some of this, to almost mature her so she knows what a real relationship is and what not to do. Im just really hurt at the moment, and AS I TYPE, I'm talking to her on the phone. I love her so much, and I'm scared for her. I'm especially scared for me though. Ive lost all my pride fighting to keep her with me, and it has taken a lot out of me.

[N0help4u]

For now it is best just to accept her and treat her as a friend maybe she just needs to mature and in a year or two she might look at you in a different light.

[ylaira]

Don't take her actions against you because her upbringing & personality has nothing to do with you. Ur not responsible for her action and you can't force someone to change .Its not you..its not you..its not you....Its not you..its not you..its not you....Its not you..its not you..its not you....Its not you..its not you..its not you....Its not you..its not you..its not you....Just focus on your worth and who deserves a guy like you... in future. If someone will cheat, they will no matter what u do. U will never have a peace of mind. Its waste of time.

[stillmatic07]

Peace of mind is all I really need right now, and a way to get over her. I haven't broken up with her but it hurts me more just thinking about it. We're still talking on the phone and I love it so much because we aren't fighting and she acts like she cares. Ah I need another girl to get through this.

[N0help4u]

Why do you feel you need to break up doesn't sound like you were really together
I think you would do better just to drift apart and let her wonder. If she feels you were a couple then she can ask you what's up with not being there like you were. If you break up it makes it official and she may not ever bother with you again.

[simoneaugie]

You can't protect her from what she may allow other guys to do to her. You can not mature her, only she has that power. She is a person. She makes choices. Let her.

And no, you do not need another relationship to get you over this one. Girls are human beings, not attractive things to be used so you won't feel pain.

Mature yourself. She is not a thing but a human being who makes choices that you may not like. Tell her that you've been snooping behind her back and talking to her friends. Be honest. If you can't talk to her frankly about it there may be something wrong between the two of you.

[stillmatic07]

That's true. I just feel that she will end it, if I don't, and if I don't end it and just drift away.. it just seems like she will take advantage of it and cheat on me even more. I want to preserve some of my dignity and not let her do this to me. But if drifting away will in a sense, eventually bring her back to me.. then I'll do it.

I know I have no control over her, I just want someone else who will treat me better and who I can physically hold every so often. I just think that even if I save what we have, it won't be worth it if I can't be with her as a boyfriend anyway.

[N0help4u]

Yeah don't go through a break up speech with her but have a good honest talk about what she would like the relationship to be and where she sees things between you two like simoneaugie says and be friends until she MAYBE decides different.
I think she just might be too immature or so not ready for a boyfriend right now but whose to say in a year or two or three she might be ready.

[simoneaugie]

Sounds like you've made up your mind.

[stillmatic07]

Thank you all for the help.

[Romefalls19]

So what was your final decision?

[talaniman]

At 16, of course you want someone that wants you, and shows it, but for whatever reason, parents, or personality, she can't do it, so have the courage to back away, and pursue others who your more compatible, and equal with. Doesn't sound like fun, and young romance should be.

[stillmatic07]

Well honestly, I'm not ready to break it off. She's showing signs of trust. I told her I didn't want to do this anymore, and I couldn't be with her anymore. She called me up crying begging me to stay with her. She's never acted that way before and I felt like I was TRULY loved by her. We've agreed to work on things some more, and hopefully ill see a change for the good. If not, ill update you on my final decision to end it. Thank you all for the support and advice.

[talaniman]

Hate to say it, but she will dump you soon!

[Romefalls19]

I agree with Tal, she shows some tears and you stick around? Is she a drama major?